attracting the wrong men?

[bulrush]

well, people are not all equal. some are more desirable, some are less desirable. there are categories of "desirability", perhaps? there is a nice expression "out of one's league", would be super-relevant!

You seem to be dancing around the issue of physical beauty as the main thing you are looking for. Good luck with that. If you have high expectations, don't expect many dates. That's just how it works. I don't know if you have BPD, or just garden variety narcissism.

you didn't answer my first question. why should i give my good looks to someone whos average looking? is there a reason? in exchange for what? maybe they should not be superficial and look for someone with a good soul?

Why not? Well, if your main concerns are physical beauty and an emotional roller coaster. See your comment below, about living in an imaginary world.

okay, what i want is someone i like physically and emotionally compatible, i.e. with "a corkscrew in the heart" like myself.

Isn't that murder? Even metaphorically?

i've seen people who crave for intensity but just have no idea what it is nor any chance of ever feeling it, quite pitiable to be honest.

I have intensity in my relationship, lots of it. My and my gf are very attracted to each other, even though the honeymoon phase is ending.

even though i have to add that me and my last lover, well, we nearly drove each other mad even after we stopped seeing each other completely.

Was that a short trip?

...we totally lived in an imaginary world, this is how it was. and i knew he thought i was some magical thing, he sort of worshiped me in his kind of way. i have never been treated like that by anyone else. he was not quite right, btw,

Yes, but he was cute, which is what matters, for everyone, right?

Choose your own path, and good luck with that. Whatever you want, you get more of it when you actually go out and get it, instead of waiting for it to come to you.

[surfhb]

Maybe its the smart guys who avoid you?

[andstuff]

Why not?

Because. Actually, I just meant someone I'd find attractive, whose looks would move me, so it doesn't have to be any magazine-informed ideal (in fact, its quite far from it). Because for me not relating to the body is like being raped. Cannot be helped or changed

Was that a short trip?

no, too long a trip i'd say

I have intensity in my relationship, lots of it. My and my gf are very attracted to each other, even though the honeymoon phase is ending.

i wasn't referring to intensity in relationships. rather a relationship between 2 people who are naturally intense, so it superposes

[bulrush]

Hm. So you want good looks in a man, AND intense chemistry between the two of you? That's really hard to find. Most people would rather have a less-than-perfect date, then be alone searching for their ideal forever. In my experience I've only had INTENSE chemistry with a person once in my life. It was with a total stranger I passed in the hallway at college. I've had great attraction for other people, but not fantastic, instant, undeniable chemistry.

Me and my gf have great attraction for each other AND great chemistry, BECAUSE we have so many other attitudes in common. We both love sex, which helps us relax a lot. We both love exploring new things, so we are always excited with each other because we are trying new things. We don't wait for chemistry to find us, we make our own!