Heavy Hearted Decision--intense subject matter

[Starnique]

Well Michelle that was my point in the first place. Its not the end of the world. That's why I initially said that she can work thru her problems. It's not a big deal. Everyone else made it seem like her life would be so hard when having a kid based off her situation is not that deep. Your life is what you make of it. Baby or not.

[michelle23]

i wasnt aiming my last post at anyoe in particular.

im just saying she has bigger things to worry bout right now and she prob already nos that it was stupid not to use protectio. plus he wasnt random-they were together a long time. these things happen. now she needs to worry bout her future and the decisions she needs to make.

[Wakeup]

then I guess you should have said that ^^^ rather then

will you guys stop making people feel bad for getting regnant.

I guess. There is No excuse for her to have fallen pregnant if it's "the last thing she and he wanted to happen"

Trivializing by basically saying "shit happens" isn't the answer either.

She'll likely stay with him, get divorced and will end up being a single mother anyway so yea, might as well have the baby and let the chips fall where they may.

Just know that if you do have this child it is now your number one priority.

[michelle23]

ya if i was the OP id have the baby but then again abortion is not an option where i come from and therefore have never considered it. iv always said if i get pregnant im keeping the kid.

but i wouldnt judge the OP if she did decide to abort its her decision.

i just dont get the reaction of some people here especially some of the males acting as f shes an alien or something for getting pregnant like i saidalready it can happen to anyone and unplanned pregnancies happen all the time. dont judge coz it could happen to you next or one of your kids

[michelle23]

most the people i no-their pregnancies were unplanned . shit happens. there all fantstic parents and happy

[Wakeup]

Well, "shit" didn't have to happen to op if she was a little more responsible. Unprotected sex with someone that she KNEW a relastionship just wouldn't work with, is hardly "shit" just happening it's irresponsible and now we have yet another child to a parent who isn't happy about her situation ... and no matter who you know who got knocked up it will never change that fact.

[dem862]

This issue is truly between yourself and the father. There are women who have had abortions and never think about it again, and there are women who suffer depression about it years later. There are women who have a child and regret it, and women who have a child and consider it the best thing that ever happened to them. You don't know the future. You can't look back as if you were 80 years old and give yourself advice. Although you can try.

However, since I am a person who could have easily been aborted due to the circumstances of my conception, I would have to advocate on behalf of the unborn child. I am grateful to my mother for having the courage and conviction to bring me into the world, regardless of how inconvenient I was. I am grateful for the handful of decades I have lived and may continue to live. In the grand scheme of the universe, which is billions of years old, my existence amounts to almost nothing. But to me and my loved ones, it is everything.

[michelle23]

i get what uour saying wakeup but its not as black and white as you put it. the OP dont need a lecture she just needs support.

i personally think people are being too hard on her. she didnt kill anyone or cheat or burn down a school or rob a bank. she had sex with a man she loves. shes pregnant and needs advice. thats all there is to it.

[Wakeup]

Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree once again then, Michelle because I personally think you are trivalizing things while I'm trying to educate others who may be reading this thread but haven't contributed yet. It is very black and white what happened. What isn't black and white is what she should do now that will make her the most happiest with her decision.

She had unprotected sex with a man that she was in an iffy relationship with. You can't get any B or W about that. She had sex with a man that she knew a relationship would never work with. Again not a grey area. For the young people out there that can learn from this: That is when you make sure we use the best ways available to us so that we do not get pregnant.

Op: If you're still lurking then please know that i'm not chastizing you just for the sake of doing so. You made a mistake and there is no sense dwelling on that, which I wouldn't have done but I don't want other young single girls thinking that what you did is a reasonable and acceptable thing to be doing just because so many others have had to deal with the same thing when it's not.

Many young people frequent and lurk in this forum and I'd like to think that they learn something rather then just accept it as being quite common and fine.. You yourself know it is not because you're torn in many different directions. Please talk to your family to help you make a smart decision. This is something that no matter what you decide to do is going to change your life in one way or another forever. Get help from those who know and love you.

Did you even know about The Morning After Pill?

[michelle23]

its not your job to educate young people. there supposed learn that from their parents or in school and no matter how much you harp on about it-its not gona change a thing.

pregnancy happens coz people have sex. lets just tell all these people never to have sex. thatl solve the problem-ya right..

most young girls are on contraception. they still get knocked up. its life. and the OP will be fine. its not life or death. its a baby.

[HeartIsAching]

Since when do you get to tell people what they can and can't post here? Did Cerby die and make you the new Sheriff?

[michelle23]

im not saying what people can and cant post here. im disagreeing with wakeups dog with a bone attempt to prove her point. heard you the first time. and i disagree that the OP needs a lecture. were responding to her thread for her benefit. not the others that need a biology lesson. the issue is shes pregnant and wants advice on what to do now. we should focus on that

[Wakeup]

.. lol ... I responded to you, you responded to me i responded back and you responded again. If there's any dogs on a bone here its US on the bone, not just me. Kindly stop telling me what I should and shouldn't be focusing on and what is and isn't my job when it comes to what I post.

[sinead90]

this is a very heavy subject, I can understand why you are struggling with this decision. I can only offer you advice based on my own situation. I am a single mother. I was in a very happy relationship when I got pregnant with my son, so never had a doubt to keep him. But I wasn't where I wanted to be in life, and it turned out that my then partner and I did not work out as a couple. Life is very difficult now, it feels like a constant uphill struggle to get where I want to be career wise and the prospect of finding a new relationship seems impossible to me. However, knowing everything I know, I wouldn't give up my son and how I've got here for the world. And as hard as life is, I know I'll get all I want out of life eventually if I just stay focused and strong. My son gives me joy that I never knew existed before. He is my world and worth more than everything else I could have put together.
I have also had one abortion. It was not an easy decision to make, I changed my mind several times. I chose abortion, and hated myself for months. But I know it was the right decision and now have no regrets (except for getting pregnant in the first place).
Whatever you decide to do, you have to remember that it's your decision to make. You have to know that life goes on and you will cope. You will get where you want in life with determination, whether it be with a child or not. It is amazing what you can get through if you stay strong and have a good support network.
Good luck, and be confident in your own feelings and abilities. Whatever the outcome, you will learn so much from this. It will make you stronger.

[michelle23]

i was responding in general as every time this topic comes up-some people are very quick to judge and i dont think its fair to judge someone for something natural like pregnancy.

you took it as a personal attack and got defensive with me when it wasnt aimed at you at all..