Confused Friend

[Moonchild]

Not sexual or whatever, it still sounds like you're holding out on her changing her mind. If you want to get over her, don't do it. If you're not serious about getting over her, then feel free. You'll just be right back where you started, I think...

[brianbtn]

Why would i want to forget her?? I dont ever! Its just were all confused is the problem. I told her about a week ago that i think its best that I take some time out to chill for a bit with no contact to see how things would go. like i said its been about a week and its been really really hard on me. now about an hour ago she sends me a text message asking how ive been and what have i been upto. so aleast she hasnt forgot about me and still thinking of me! that shows a little hope i guess. I held out contacting her before she contacted me. that has to be a good sign right???

[IndiReloaded]

Sorry, I'm confused. Did you decide to go NC w/her or not? Why are you still thinking about contacting her, in this case? Make your decision & stick to it, at least for a couple months (the time it will take for your immediate hormones to subside).

FYI, if you told her what we suggested & she is still contacting you, then she's an attention whore at best (or a completely selfish bitch at worst). You won't like hearing that, but you're too smitten to recognize the truth: if she really cared that you are hurting, and won't be with you, then SHE SHOULD HAVE THE KINDNESS TO LEAVE YOU THE HELL ALONE.

I'm gonna start calling you PussyWhipped, b/c you are.

[brianbtn]

Ok that was a little harsh.... so what was i holding out for by not contacting her?? I mean what was my goal with this??? To go NC until i forget her?? I dont think that will ever happen! I thought the whole goal was for her to contact me first and thats what happened today! I see that as some light of hope! Pussywiped or not I still love this girl. BTW dont you have to actually get the pussy before you can be wipped by it???

[Moonchild]

What are you seeing hope /for/? She still wants to be friends with you; this only makes that obvious. Does this mean she's going to turn around and date you? Probably not. I'm wondering what makes you think (or hope that) this means things have changed.

[brianbtn]

because she said today she was worried about me and wanted to see whats going on... That tells me that she has some things about me thats she's dealing with in her head... a week and half ago when i first asked her about her feelings she couldnt give me a straight answer because she was still with her BF and thought it was wrong. when she texted me today she said she would keep it short cause she knows im trying to keep my distant right now she was just worried about me is all. I thought that was nice of her. just shows she cares. but like i said before WHATS THE GOAL OF THIS NO CONTACT?? I dont want to forget her.. we had some good times together. She will always have a place in my heart no matter what the outcome of all this!

[Moonchild]

Well, if you're set on being a lovesick puppy for the rest of your life, be my guest. I seriously don't think this'll work out for you, and I seriously think you're spending a lot of time fawning over a girl who is more interested in a guy you think a jerk than she is in you. You know her type. Just because you think yourself better, do you honestly believe you'll ever be able to fill that spot in her life? If she likes the offs and ons with the current guy, do you think you'll be able to give her enough drama to stop from being bored? The point of everyone telling you to try no contact was so that you could sort yourself out, not so she'd miss you and worry about you and think about you. The point of trying no contact was to try to get you over her so you'd be able to find someone who will actually give you a /chance/. But hey, it's your life. This is just what we're saying.

[brianbtn]

well i appreciate everyone on here's input on this... i gained alot of valuable info. its just so hard you know to let go cause this doesnt come around often for me. Ive had some of the worst luck with dating of anybody I know so bad that i just gave up for awhile and now i find this girl and shes great i just wished she felt the same towards me. you know Im not the most attractive guy, im alittle overweight, im real shy at first, but ive got a real big heart. I love children i want many when i get married. i think a women should be treated with respect and thats the main reason ive been holding onto this is because of what this guy is doing to her she doesnt deserve it and she knows it... she has told me so. She is just the one holding onto to something that should have ended 4 months ago. I would aleast have the damm common decency to end the relationship with someone before i would sleep with other women and cheat for the last 4 months. I see this shit going on all the time. Then when a great guy like myself trys to get to know a girl all she thinks is this guy just wants to sleep with me. It makes me sick!

[IndiReloaded]

Look Brian, we wish you well. Truly. But you're blind to stuff many of us have seen over & over again. Do yourself a favour and read this in the context of your problem. Its simplistic, but pretty accurate for a lot of interactions, including your own I think:

[url]http://ladderwiki.com/wiki/Main_Page[/url]

[123456]

here's some advice that i'll give you if you really want this girl....BUT it takes alot of effort to do

completely step out of this girls life for a LONG time because you're in the friend zone...and then 1 day reappear and bump into her. it'll be like meeting her all over again. i did that with one girl that i've known for years for a year, and we almost got together but i messed up because i started having feelings for another girl

if you do this, straighten yourself up a little bit and teach yourself not to be needy because girls don't like that. make sure when you meet her again you've upgraded yourself into a better person not getting attached on girls. while you're doing this, you may even meet somebody else that can change your life.

[brianbtn]

ok IndiReloaded and Moonchild and everyone else... LMAO!!! you guys are gonna think im the craziest guy in the world but here goes... Well here's what has happened since my last post... I tried the NC thing... That didnt work at all for us but I finally came to grips that lori doesnt have the same feelings as I did for her... Im cool with that now! We have since went back to being best friends. If nothing else it has strengthed our friendship! I actually found a since of peace in my heart somehow? I cant understand this feeling but its nice.... I even went so far as to call her BF and we talked it out like adults... Us three have actually when out to dinner since then and had a great time! I can see you guys shaking your heads now.... And just to make things clear cause I know some of you are thinking it... When I say "us three had a good time"...No i dont mean we had a threesome!! There anit no PLAN with a MAN... Ya Dig? not that im against gays or anything. but i anit like that... Now two girls and myself... thats another story...

[Moonchild]

Eh, not going to shake my head at you or anything. After all, I'm best friends with someone I love. Just didn't see it working out in your situation, you know? But as long as you don't slip back to how you were before, things should be all right.

[brianbtn]

yep... she has been a great friend to me i just couldnt stand the thought of losing her.... we have grown closer even more now. Im just gonna go with flow. I still love her alot but I respect her now more than ever... She told me she doesnt want our friendship to ever end that she only wants to grow it... Who knows what will happen later on?? If we did decide to become a couple later own... It would be something wonderful... She's my best friend and I love her to death!!!

-Brian