Uh... Actually the whole concept brought up in this topic is new to me, so I think the "you" doesn't apply here (I didn't even imagine someone could think about doing something like this - I mean, using sex to get what one wants, sure, but making believe that one has a high sex drive in general... sounds counterproductive and pretty useless to me).
What I'm asking is, how can you know that it's not faking but simply sexual desire diminishing as the relationship evolves (which is a completely natural and normal thing to happen)?
Figuring out which woman fits into which of those two categories is irrelevant. What I'm saying is that out of any number of women who are less likely/willing to have sex further into the relationship a certain number of them DID build up false expectations about their libido beforehand. [They] all should be ashamed. I realize that this concept might be new to you, but it certainly does happen, and yes it always becomes counterproductive further into the relationship.
...one can be sure of nothing until it has already happened...
The thing here is that in the begining, men are usually making the ideal conditions available for a woman to be responsive to their advances. As time goes on and a couple get comfortable with one another, those ideal conditions often are not being offered. That's why it's important to keep doing what you always did when you first became a couple. Flirting, teasing, body language showing attraction to the other, doing fun and exciting things together should always be in play.
Lets face it. Even woman who are horn dogs do not think the same way men do about sex. We feel much more horny and receptive when the guy is showing us that he desires us as opposed to us doing the chasing for it. Ocassionally I think it's great to be the one to make the advance but the flirting, teasing, body language showing attraction motivate us to want to advance first.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
Should I give up?... I think I should give up... I just might... Did you read post #35? At all?
...one can be sure of nothing until it has already happened...
Yes I did, what is your point about asking me if I did?
I am telling you what (as a woman) makes me ready for sex whenever my husband is ready. He still has game. My Point you ask? Perhaps the ones who you think built up false expectations, did not actually bait and switch but have simply lost some interest do to lack of the same things occurring which occurred when you were first trying to get into their pants. Woman aren't like men, we don't get horny when a soft breeze blows by. Well, perhaps those with sexual addictions and emotional issues from childhood may????
Last edited by Wakeup; 10-09-11 at 05:47 AM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
To add: Men often say they are programmed to spread their seed. Well if you believe that, then you should also believe that woman were built to go without sex for extended periods of time while the men were out hunting and gathering food for weeks/months at a time. Quite the quandry.
It's always interesting that the very woman that a man will say was an a-sexual frigid shrew often (always?) turns into a horny sex machine with any new guy that she happens to connect with... for a time. I say "for a time" because the man stops the very seduction he used when he first started to court her.
Last edited by Wakeup; 10-09-11 at 05:59 AM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
Because a woman would have to be a really good physical actress to pull it off. Most people that act professionally aren't really all the good at acting, let alone amateurs. If a man is fooled by a fake orgasm, he either wants to be fooled, or he's never experienced the real thing and doesn't know any better.
I know it wasn't that way for me. Damn near the minute we moved in together, the sex went away. All I could think is that she figured she had me and didn't have to anymore. After six months of it I brought it up and got "What problem?" and she refused to discuss it at all.
This is illustrative of what I (and Incognito) are talking about:
The FIRST TIME after we moved in together that we had sex, I found out that she didn't like having her tits played with, and I wasn't allowed to anymore. Not a hint, not a peep until the night we moved in together. Soon as we did they were off limits. How ELSE can you interpret that? I'm not saying all women are like that, or even the majority of them, but there are indeed women out there like that.
^^^ I have to ask why you would stay in a relationship with a woman who is such a liar then? You mean you always played with her breasts until you married her and then she said to stop?
*sighs* I've never met a woman (or a man that was married to one) like her. Do these woman have psychological problems? Have they been abused as children? Are they just like that because?
I can see why Incognito asked if he should just give up... Sorry I was not seeing the picture.
Thanks for clarifying, HIA.
Last edited by Wakeup; 10-09-11 at 06:36 AM. Reason: corrected "psychological"
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
I stayed because I foolishly hoped that we could talk about things and get things fixed. It took a long time to realize that she'd really just stopped pretending and things were they way they were because that's how she really was.
I was actually ready to walk out, and the night I was going to have "the talk" with her, she told me she was pregnant. As I'd already had one kid grow up elsewhere from me, I wasn't willing to quit... I wanted to be with my son. That was 8 years ago. We cohabited for a long time, but had separate sleeping arrangements for at least the last 5 years. We never married - some people I knew would ask occasionally and I'd tell them frankly that there would be ice-skating in hell before that happened.
How did she become pregnant? Was she on the pill? Did you pull out? Condom break?
Just wondering because my best friend is in a crappy relationship and wants to leave but she became pregnant. thing is he came IN her, yet he was still surprised she got pregnant. How do you cum IN an unprotected chick and not think there might be consequences? I have another good friend that did the exact same thing as well and I cant get a straight answer out of them beside "in the moment" excuse!