Issues with my wife.

[Indignant]

Biggest complaint is that I don't let her do whatever she wants. Communication, let stuff go, be able to take a break from arguments, understand the way she feels.

However I think that even if I were to do all the things she wants, that is not the real problem. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that she has mixed feelings about being in the relationship at all. So the changes that I am trying to make may not even matter.

what about looks?

[cal dave]

if he was such a great catch, she won't have to look another way. besides that women change, mature, become more attractive as they age, she may be seeing herself as a new person. if he does not change along with her to accomodate her timeline it would be hard for her to be stuck at that same space.

I am a great catch.

I think this is a big factor in her not outright divorcing me.

[Indignant]

can you share us a pic of you and her to make a comparison?

[cal dave]

what about looks?

If you are asking if she thinks I'm attractive, then yes. I'm in really good shape and I keep myself looking good most of the time. Belive me, I'm not Mr. Fashion, but I dress well.

[cal dave]

can you share us a pic of you and her to make a comparison?

This site won't let me post a pic until I have made 15 posts or more.

[Indignant]

This site won't let me post a pic until I have made 15 posts or more.

then what are you waiting for, start posting

[cal dave]

then what are you waiting for, start posting

I'm not very motivated to show our faces on the tubes.

I don't want to get shopped.

[Indignant]

what is getting shopped?

[cal dave]

what is getting shopped?

Photoshopped.

[IndiReloaded]

if he was such a great catch, she won't have to look another way. besides that women change, mature, become more attractive as they age, she may be seeing herself as a new person. if he does not change along with her to accomodate her timeline it would be hard for her to be stuck at that same space.

LOL! This post made me bust out laughing like few have. This^ is just so not true.

Dave, I promise you, you could be the *perfect* guy and, eventually, your wife would find some issue with you. While I'm sure you aren't perfect, noone is, you do sound sincere and WILLING to make things better with your wife. Frankly, you sound like the mature partner, at least based on being able to clearly communicate and get what you want from your relationship.

Your more recent posts suggest your wife is struggling with some personal issues that are bleeding into your marriage. You are a good guy to want to help her with them, and it wouldn't hurt for her to know that ultimately its her life and her issues to sort out. Tho a good partner will provide support, which it totally sounds like you are doing.

Get this book. I'm very serious, it will help you understand a lot of things about the typical female brain. You'll have a lot of "a ha!" moments that, I think, will ultimately help you two to sort things out. You sound like a VERY good husband to me, FWIW. She's a lucky gal and I hope she comes to realize this asap. Some counselling might also help. Good luck.

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Female_Brain[/url]

[Indignant]

Dave, I promise you, you could be the *perfect* guy and, eventually, your wife would find some issue with you. While I'm sure you aren't perfect, noone is, you do sound sincere and WILLING to make things better with your wife. Frankly, you sound like the mature partner, at least based on being able to clearly communicate and get what you want from your relationship.

You are a good guy to want to help her with them, and it wouldn't hurt for her to know that ultimately its her life and her issues to sort out. Tho a good partner will provide support, which it totally sounds like you are doing.

You sound like a VERY good husband to me, FWIW. She's a lucky gal and I hope she comes to realize this asap. Some counselling might also help. Good luck.

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Female_Brain[/url]

why don't you marry him Indi and then tell us what's wrong with him?

[Gigabitch]

Dave, maybe you should get some friends too. Just saying... she might have something there with the whole idea that living for each other at the expense of everything else is possibly unhealthy.

That being said, I think her sneaky behavior about the guy she was talking to was just vile. She's a lying little weasel, and it is NOT your fault. If you were my husband, I'd tell you who I was talking to and I would NEVER lie to you. Lying breaks your trust. Is your counselor addressing this?

[Indignant]

We have only heard one side of the story, she is the bad one and he is the good one. Are we really going to call her a lying weasel and not blame him for anything? Giga, WE are mature people, but we are talking about 20 year olds kids here.

[Gigabitch]

She told him she was talking to her fiend Robin and then said, when she was totally busted, that it was HIS fault because he didn't like her guy friend. That makes her a lying weasel.

[Indignant]

She told him she was talking to her fiend Robin and then said, when she was totally busted, that it was HIS fault because he didn't like her guy friend. That makes her a lying weasel.

but don't you consider that he might've done something that drove her to outcast him and try to find companionship elsewhere?