Why do men cheat?

[michelle23]

well the fact that she said "usually" means that shes just as bad as him so maybe they should stay together and leave nice men and women alone

Edit to say being intoxicated is a bullshit excuse btw! It shows that you secretly want to while sober but just wait till your drunk so you can use it as an excuse. Ive been intoxicated plenty of times-it doesnt make me want to **** some random loser down an alley or in a toilet. I've more self respect and Id never go home with someone either when Im drunk. Even drunk I still no that is not who I am and can say no

[Starnique]

First of all dont talk about me in third person like Im not here. You can address me because Im definately going to address you. Second of all, Im speaking about my personal situation, I dont care for your opinion. I have been dealing with my off and on for about 6 years. Thats just how we do. It doesnt work for everybody. We know we love each other and cant nobody tell us different. I personally dont need liquid courage to do my dirt, If Im going to do it then Im just going to do it and it and it wont be in a toilet or alley, so be for real here.

You take stuff to literal around here. Just because I used the word usually doesnt mean that I just go cheat all the time. I was saying if I was to do it, its because hes cheating and let that be the reason.

Example, Saturday night I went to see him at about 4 AM. Hes like whats the password to your phone? I gave it to him, not thinking straight and then I realized what I did was crazy because he should trust me. So he gets upset because my phone locks up on him while hes trying to look thru my messages and pics and he asked for it again and I said no. Then I asked for his phone and he said go ahead and look thru it, u might see a naked pic of a chick but it dont mean nothing. I didnt even get mad, its like I couldnt, I didnt care. Why get mad? He always in my face, I have his heart. But I still didnt give him my password again and he got really mad and start yelling me talking about, your not real at all. Give me your ****ing password,yelling at me real upset. Most girls would have been like panicked but I was unphased. I didnt care. Sometimes my job make him insecure. Especially if I come home with a whole bunch of stacks. That whole story to someone else sounds foolish? Right. But to us its nothing. He my lover and my bestfriend and we going to always be there for each other. Im going to always be there for the kid, We dont make no serious moves on one another thats super damaging and whenever he need me I come through, same Im sure you do for your other half. When we make love its magic so cant nobody do him better or me better. Most of the time its the men egos that be bruised when they get cheated on. If I accuse him of cheating, he will say Dont no other woman have nothing on me and I need to stop being so paranoid lol..smh whatever. Michelle, I have just as much self respect as you if not more.

[michelle23]

Well Id walk away from someone the first time they cheat-not the tenth or the 100 time and I certainly would not stick around and cheat to get revenge and try to score cheap points.

The relationship is unhealthy and destructive. You cant trust each other and you will continue to hurt each other as long as you stick around.

I never said that you cheat down an alley or in a toilet. I wasn't talking about you or anyone in particular.

[bearz]

The only question now is, do you have too much self-respect that you have now crossed the line of being simply being full of yourself and not caring about others? You didn't get mad or upset for a reason, you're not in a loving relationship with this guy. You're just ****buddies and that's it. You've been doing it for 6 years but aren't living with each other? Has the topic of moving in together ever even come up? Do you even see a future serious and exclusive relationship with him? So you or him hooking up with someone else, considering your current arrangement, is different than someone cheating on their partner who actually truly loves them and where there actually is a potential future together.

[Love'sReject]

How about cheating with a former best friend's g/f to get back at him? Also, because she's hot?

[Sirana]

What this girl wanted to say was that you don't need to own anyone to feel real love! If she wants to get married, it's her life. Some people are just not into marriage stuff or monogamy, so what?
I don't understand what does self respect has to do with anything in here? If she is fine how things are going, if she is seeing other men also, how can you say she doesn't respect herself? It's not like that this dude is emotionaly abusing her with all this stuff and that she is desperate about it. I can see she is fine with it.

[JerseyTerron]

Starnique,

Maybe your boyfriend feels insecure about what your doing for a living. I am gong through a similar situation and your probably a big cause of the problem. If your working a pole or walking around with everything out getting money thrown at you and most strippers do let guys touch for the right price, so not to judge you but he probably has lack of respect due to that and does his own thing on the side. No man is truly comfortable with that. Example, look at the pic you have posted. Its small but we all know whats going on there, would he be okay with you posting that pic? If your at the popular club in Florida that you said before anyone can pull up pics and youtube the club. I have even been there before. Think about things like that.

BTW, you look familiar, All ya'll including my so called girl look alike with the long hair and tattoos. Is there a way you can enlarge the pic so I can get clarity?

[Rowen]

Michelle, I have just as much self respect as you if not more.

Starnique, at the risk of sounding heartless and like a prick, I don't really get how you can feel that way when situations like that happen. Even if his ego is bruised, how can it not bruise yours if he ever cheats on you? No offense, but if I were you, I'd believe I'd deserve better than that. That's one of the reasons why I was furious when my ex and I broke up and I don't really talk to him anymore... I was too close to the tree in the relationship to see the rest of the forest, and I kept trying to convince myself that it meant nothing after he cheated again and again and again. So, forgive me, but I just don't see how you can't be hurt by that...no offense.

[michelle23]

He obviously has no respect for you starnique and you cheat to get back at him instead of dumping him coz deep down u think u cant do any better. If it really didnt bother you-you wouldnt call it cheating-ud say u have an open relationship and your both happy with that but your not happy

[KeyKandiss13]

Well maybe i should've said some men. i'm not all saying that men cheat. please don't take offense if this does apply to you.

[bearz]

You should have asked "what makes people cheat on their partner".

[Starnique]

I respect everyone opinions. I know we all have our differences. So sometimes I come off being real obnoxious. Even in person, I can be very passionate about what I believe so unless I feel as if a person is coming at me then thats what makes me come off a certain way so no offense to what anyone believe.

As far as my relationship, we have lived together. I have been knowing him since I was about 16 and I always liked him a lot. But we didnt get together until I was about 19 or something like that. We have actually lived together until recently. I roommate with my cousin but I am always at his place. Most of my belongings are there but I dont want to live with him to go through some of the mess I been through with him before. Both of my parents are very ridiculous at times and I am an only child, at least by my mother so I always depended on him when we got together. It was as if someone sucked my brain and he was all of that. But I just kept catching him in shit. I even caught him getting sucked off before. He has done a lot of crazy shit for real. I have beat up a couple of chicks behind him, bust out a lot of windows, went to a couple of people jobs. Once, I went to this chick job because I clearly asked her was she messing with him, she said no. I found out she was. I went to her job, walked up to her in front of a few of her co workers and said point blank, I want to know why your messing with my man and lied to me. I asked your ass and you told me no. Why the **** did you lie to me? I was crazy over him seriously people. I just remember her being so embarrassed and looking scared and we went to their break room and I believe it or not I pulled out a little weapon, im not sayng what...and I was like Bitch, tell me everything. I know you screwing him and Im very pissed off. She was scared as hell, she was just crying but she told me everything an I remember it took all I had in me not to cry as she told me everything. I refused to let some other woman see me cry though and then she stopped and said your beautiful, why he do that to you? Lol. It wasnt funny then but it is now. Not the situation but just what she said. Just silly mess. I eventually start cheating on him too just to get back at him and I got off on that because it made him furious.Then I moved to another part of the Sunshine State to start over without telling anybody and I was dancing temporarily to get my money up but I became popular and I guess now Im just addicted to the money. My body is going to stay right because I work out, lol. J/K but for real I practiced. Anyway, he found me because the club is so well known that people start telling him where I was at. I wasnt intially at that club but I went there because I felt as if I was becoming too good for the other and this was the best. He found me and was mad because of my lifestyle and I told him I wasnt changing anything for him. He had the nerve to propose and I said yes, being silly and in love. Of course he was still no good and then he was feeling real insecure and sort of possesive because of my position but I didnt care because I felt he made a fool out of me plenty of times. I got to the place that I wasnt going to keep cheating because he did. That shit got real old and real fast. He's apologized for all we have been through but I know that he has to regain my trust. I made up my mind that I wasnt going to let it hurt me and dwell on it. Im going to do what I want to do and if I meet someone I really like in the process then he just up against it. I do love him because on one hand he is sweet and loving and he will do anything for me. Anything. But he dont know how to love me, maybe it was his upbringing. I dont know. But I dont have time to figure it out. People call women stupid all day long and I know that unless you are in that womans shoes you never know. A man can make a woman feel high, like she floating on air and he can also make a woman feel real low, if she lets him. I dont let him so he can do what he do. Im the best he ever had. I dont feel like anyone can tell us any diff, it is what it is. If he really lost me, he would lose himself.

Whoa! I cant believe I told my business like that, its our secret...ok? Lol.

Jersey, I would not be willing to give my name, as you would youtube it. Not gonna happen. You can pull up anything in general but you wont know me specifically. Smh...Weirdo.

[Rowen]

He's apologized for all we have been through but I know that he has to regain my trust. I made up my mind that I wasnt going to let it hurt me and dwell on it. Im going to do what I want to do and if I meet someone I really like in the process then he just up against it. I do love him because on one hand he is sweet and loving and he will do anything for me. Anything. But he dont know how to love me, maybe it was his upbringing. I dont know. But I dont have time to figure it out. People call women stupid all day long and I know that unless you are in that womans shoes you never know. A man can make a woman feel high, like she floating on air and he can also make a woman feel real low, if she lets him. I dont let him so he can do what he do. Im the best he ever had. I dont feel like anyone can tell us any diff, it is what it is. If he really lost me, he would lose himself.

Whoa! I cant believe I told my business like that, its our secret...ok? Lol.

Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.

And wow that's a pretty interesting story. And it makes perfect sense, too, honestly. I can definitely understand why you would feel so attached to the guy, but if I were you, I wouldn't really feel like I could attempt to get that trust back if I was hurt in the ways that you were. I'll be honest that all the times my ex-boyfriend cheated on me, I didn't find out by walking in on him or something. It was all over the phone when his best friend told me what he was doing behind my back. But either way, to me, it just doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to have with co-dependency and the lack of trust. Surely, you must have been doing well on your own when you tried starting your life over? I mean, it sounds like you work hard in your position- not even joking. That, to me, is inner strength, but it sounds like it went away when he came back. In my opinion, perhaps you just need to realize that to be able to find a guy who won't make you feel used to cheating or like you can't trust him. I know you love him, but to have a healthy relationship that can progress any further, it would need to have a level of trust. Would you be okay with being his wife and constantly wondering what's going on behind your back, if anything is? It just sounds like a settlement for the love you subconsciously feel you deserve, but I'm going to bet there has to be a part of you that feels you deserve better. And I certainly think you do. There are great men out there; it's all just a matter of being able to be strong in yourself and believing that they're out there.

Again, that's just my take on it. Whatever happens or whatever you choose to do, good luck.

[toknow]

The answer is much simpler than you can imagine, people just get caught up in the unnecessary details of it and miss the point.

It happens because they don't truly love that woman. If one truly loves their girl, they won't even have the desire to cheat or look at other women.

[michelle23]

Starnique no offence but do you know how messed up that all sounds? You allowed him to keep cheating on you, you allowed yourself to threaten OW because of him, you let him drive you into cheating and lowering yourself to his level, you ran away to get away from him and even started stripping to get back at him and now you are so numb and messed up you act like you don't even care anymore?

Dont you want better for yourself? Do you not think your worth more?

The man is a ****ing loser, hes no respect for you, no empathy for your feelings, he doesnt love you but you enable his behavior by giving him chance after chance after chance which just makes him have even less respect for you and now your allowing hundreds even thousands of men to disrespect you and use you as a sex object. Why?