Who hates talking on the phone when in a relationship?

[HeartIsAching]

Except that when you use gender-based stereotypes to refer to women, even if it is not your intention, you are actually helping to perpetuate patriarchy.

See, and here's where I get my back up about it - I am a shopping fool. I can spend all day with (or without) my wife, cruising thrift stores, garage sales etc., and be happy. My wife isn't a clothes-horse, I love talking, my wife doesn't take forever to get ready, she and I have about the same number of shoes, etc., etc., etc.,

So why's it ok for some woman to say "Men..." about a stereotype?

It's not.

[dickriculous]

So why's it ok for some woman to say "Men..." about a stereotype?

It's not.

The stereotype you quoted was a harmless one.

You've seen me call plenty of people out on having ignorant opinions on this subject but I don't see how what you're complaining about is one of them. I mean, stereotyping guys as not liking to talk on their phone....really? THAT's what we're getting up in arms about?

This is a warning sign that we've gone much too far with the PC agenda. It's gotten to the point where now you cant say much of anything without second guessing whether or not it's going to offend a bunch of people and provoke them to try to make you lose your job over it.

When threads like "why do men cheat?" and "why can men never be honest about xxx?" come up, then I'm with you. But this? No, there's a line with the PC agenda that doesn't need to be crossed. The last thing I want is for the dynamic of human interaction to turn into a political police state.

[oxytocinbite]

I love talking on the phone, with a friend or my boyfriend. I was dating him long distance for almost a year so talking was one of the main things we could do. I loved it because we would talk about everything and now we are really good living together. ^-^ Communication is awesome, I would rather talk in person now though.

[HeartIsAching]

"Tell you" to answer your phone? Holy crap... my response would've been "It's my phone, I'll answer it if I want to."

Actually, I've had to tell butt-hurt people that the phone belongs to me, not the other way around, and I'll answer it if and when I want to, and not before.

[IndiReloaded]

Haha, nice one to Star. And Dick - since we are engaging in stereotypes - you are still my favourite hot young shithead.

Otherwise this place is still boring, I see. :/

[HeartIsAching]

The stereotype you quoted was a harmless one.

You've seen me call plenty of people out on having ignorant opinions on this subject but I don't see how what you're complaining about is one of them. I mean, stereotyping guys as not liking to talk on their phone....really? THAT's what we're getting up in arms about?

This is a warning sign that we've gone much too far with the PC agenda. It's gotten to the point where now you cant say much of anything without second guessing whether or not it's going to offend a bunch of people and provoke them to try to make you lose your job over it.

When threads like "why do men cheat?" and "why can men never be honest about xxx?" come up, then I'm with you. But this? No, there's a line with the PC agenda that doesn't need to be crossed. The last thing I want is for the dynamic of human interaction to turn into a political police state.

You're not getting it then. There's no such thing as a "harmless" stereotype. Not when it perpetuates the illusion that we're substantially different, which allows the use of further stereotyping.

And I'm not up in arms about it - the discussion has gotten involved, but my initial posting was merely to wake up the poster who was using gender bias - however lightly or not lightly she may have meant it... spin it - what if she'd said "Black folks" instead of "Men"?

[mountainboy]

go to the link fafasfasfafafaf

[chitown]

i like texting for most things but really like to hear a voice and get that connection. that means something to me. a call is usually best for plans but with buddies its usually a text. i didnt like how a chick wouldnt ever talk on the phone but would text non-stop.

[dickriculous]

You're not getting it then. There's no such thing as a "harmless" stereotype. Not when it perpetuates the illusion that we're substantially different, which allows the use of further stereotyping.

Men and women are EXTREMELY different, pointing that out isn't harmful. In fact it's often a necessity to remind people of this, as they seem to forget.

And I'm not up in arms about it - the discussion has gotten involved, but my initial posting was merely to wake up the poster who was using gender bias - however lightly or not lightly she may have meant it... spin it

The fact that you immediately resorted to namecalling against her - the type of name that exists for the sole purpose of shaming those who are not perpetuating the PC agenda in it's entirety - tells a very different story

what if she'd said "Black folks" instead of "Men"?

"black folks don't like talking on cell phones" - as off the wall and out of nowhere as that statement is, it still isn't particularly harmful.

When I hear "men don't like talking on cell phones" or "women can't stay off their cell phones"...why would I react? In most cases, those 2 statements are facts. It's implied that they know damn well that not ALL men hate talking on cell phones and not ALL women are glued to them, but most of us don't have the time and mental space to specify every last detail of every little thing we say - kind of an odd thing off of which to base the way far too many of us like to shout "RACIST! SEXIST! HOMOPHOBE! TRANSPHOBE!" etc. from the rooftop.

[ChloeGirl]

I don't have an issue with text or phone calls. Both are cool with me. Sonetimes if I am busy or confused, text can be annoying and easily misinterpreted. Certain instances requires a phone call.

[Alex Gu]

Face-to-face meeting is preferable indeed. Phone conversation tends to have awkward silence and you're forced to think hard on what to say or what to talk about.

[searock]

So why's it ok for some woman to say "Men..." about a stereotype?

It's not.

I never said it was. On the contrary, gender-based stereotypes are NOT ok. However, there is a fundamental difference between gender-based stereotypes and institutionalized sexism (which is by definition solely against women).

[searock]

There's no such thing as a "harmless" stereotype. Not when it perpetuates the illusion that we're substantially different, which allows the use of further stereotyping.

True - in this sense, even gender-based stereotypes against men actually perpetuate institutionalized sexism. They are NOT, however, manifestations of institutionalized sexism as gender-based stereotypes against women are.

Dick, it's one thing to say that men and women are different, it's another to use inaccurate and all-encompassing stereotypes to denote such differences.

what if she'd said "Black folks" instead of "Men"?

Again: "black folks" are victims of institutionalized racism. Men (i.e. male human beings per se) aren't victims of institutionalized anything. I quote again:

Racism and Sexism are different from race-based or gender-based prejudice. I don’t have to have any particular power to hate a white person. I don’t have to be in any particular position in society to say nasty things to one on the street or give them dirty looks. That’s prejudice. Based on race. However, if I do any of these things, it doesn’t really matter. It might hurt a white person’s feelings if I did that. It might cause them momentary discomfort. But that’s about it.

That’s not to minimize how you feel when these things happen to you, but it is to put those things in perspective. Making you uncomfortable does not rise to the level of racism. Racism is not merely a bad attitude toward people of another race. Harassment is definitely wrong, and I’m sorry you experience it. Still, that’s all it is.

http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/10/19/sexism-definition/

[HeartIsAching]

Sorry Searock, that wasn't aimed at you. It's aimed at the notion aired by dickrickulous that some stereotypes are alright to express.

And you're right, the point I want to make is that the institutional oppression won't stop unless we all work to eradicate all of it. Will it ever be completely gone? Probably not, but it can be a hell of a lot better than it is. We've already made tremendous strides in the last 50 or 60 years, but that's no reason to stop trying - we're not done yet.

[HeartIsAching]

Men and women are EXTREMELY different, pointing that out isn't harmful. In fact it's often a necessity to remind people of this, as they seem to forget.

Not really. There's a huge difference in how we're socialized, but that's a horse of a different color.

The fact that you immediately resorted to namecalling against her - the type of name that exists for the sole purpose of shaming those who are not perpetuating the PC agenda in it's entirety - tells a very different story

True - my bad.

And my apologies to the poster.