Trapped in a relationship

[profchaos71]

alright,you people are pretty much right on with your views.But remember i wasnt trying to have a relationship with a girl this young as someone implied.You can join the military at 18 so having sex with a 19 year old at my age wasnt a big deal.Besides,the only reason we ever met is because we both were unfortunate or irresponsible enough to haver slept with a person that gave us both a lifelong condition.We met on a website for people with STD's.Thats more than i wanted to share here but i'm not going to tolerate being judged like some kind of psuedo pedophile because i had sex with a 19 year old woman.I suppose i should have known better and i bear responsibility here as well.But i feel blessed to have my daughter and contrary to what her mother thinks i dont hate her for the deception.I just dont see this relationship lasting through her inevitable change into the 25 or 35 year old woman she will become.We all know how different we are from those days and i guess what i see is myself getting older and not wanting to spend the next 3 or 5 years watching her find herself and then have the eventual epiphany and pack her bags.Not to mention the fact that we obviously dont have a whole lot in common to begin with

[divinechaos]

Well lets just say it out loud...we have herpes...but anyways ....we've decided what we're going to do...we going to get a duplex for the time being...therefore both of us can always see her...thanks for everyones input we really appreciate it.

[lesa]

I may be the only one to say this on here but it seems that you two are the most civil non-couple who share a baby and trying to work a great deal on raising the child together that I have ever seen on this forum. I give you two an 'A' for that!

Good luck on your plans and stay kind to each other, no matter what happens.

[IndiReloaded]

No offense chaos, but if I had a dollar for every girl your age who thought they were more mature than their peers, I'd be rich. In fact *I* thought I was more mature than my peers at your age. The thing I didn't know then (that I know now) is that maturity is multi-faceted. You can be very mature in one way, and absurdly immature in another. The fact that you got yourself into this predicament (casually sleeping with men who are just about old enough to be your father and ending up with a "surprise" pregnancy) is a testament to your psychological development.

Your man should have known better at his age.

I agree. Unfortunately, pointing fingers has absolutely nothing to do with making sure their child, which now exists, is cared for as best as possible.

[vashti]

True indi, but maybe if he understands his responsibility for this mess, he will avoid doing it to another girl. I don't know what could make things right for the poor kid that's already here.

[divinechaos]

True indi, but maybe if he understands his responsibility for this mess, he will avoid doing it to another girl. I don't know what could make things right for the poor kid that's already here.

In his defense...I trapped him, not the other way around...but we both take full responsibility for our actions and want whatever is best for our daughter. But I am curious as to what it is you think he did to me that he might do to another girl? Also I might add because I haven't yet, that Madisyn is only 7 months old...we are trying to get all of this worked out before she knows whats going on and be too affected by the negative energy surrounding our home.

[Junket]

They're chastising him for what your age was when yas did the nasty.

It's irrelevant now.

[vashti]

But I am curious as to what it is you think he did to me that he might do to another girl?

Get another young girl knocked up when he doesn't care about her...

No offense, but I can't imagine why a grown man would believe any girl at the age of 19 claiming she couldn't get pregnant. It's not like many 19 year olds have made much of an effort to get pregnant, so how would they know?

Anyway, yeah... I'm done chastising. I hope things work out for you and your little girl. Personally, I'd avoid dating anyone for a LONG time. Your girl is going to learn a lot about how a woman should behave by watching you date... be really careful to avoid drama or you will have your hands full in a few years.

[profchaos71]

Um,yeah i suppose i shouldnt have believed her and that is on me.In my defense she said a medical doctor told her this.It still doesnt make her a victim which is what you are implying.Normally i havent sought out young girls to have sex with if anything she pursued me.I'm not proud of the fact that i'm 37 and i am not with a person more my age group.She knew before she got pregnant how i felt about her so you can just stop with the lectures.There are alot of unique circumstances that led to this.I'm not the devil or some asshole guy that takes advantage of young girls.You can take your chastising and stick it where the sun dont shine because i'm here,i'm taking care of her and my daughter regardless of all of this.I work hard for my money,i'm a Marine corps veteran,a member of the national guard.I pay all the bills,and i work out 5 days a week.I screwed up and i'm dealing with that mistake with a fair amount of honor unlike alot of men in this world.Sure i'm a bit immature but honestly most people with my background are in prison or dead by my age so just keep your postings on the topic of the relationship if you dont mind. I really dont think it's accurate to blame me just because i'm older.In fact it's a very narrow-minded outlook and suggests your inability to take all of the previously mentioned facts into consideration before forming your opinion

[profchaos71]

i do agree that it is important to limit dating after this.I personally will not have any other woman around my daughter period.She has one mother and nobody can take her place! I feel like a failure already because i'm just not able to endure this situation any longer but rest assured i'm not going to repeat this situation and i refuse to let my little girl be exposed to an endless parade of partners or some bitch of a stepmother that will never love her like her own because most of the time people never love other people's kids like they would their own

[vashti]

I really dont think it's accurate to blame me just because i'm older.

Well, I understand why you would say that, but I disagree.

i do agree that it is important to limit dating after this.I personally will not have any other woman around my daughter period.She has one mother and nobody can take her place! I feel like a failure already because i'm just not able to endure this situation any longer but rest assured i'm not going to repeat this situation and i refuse to let my little girl be exposed to an endless parade of partners or some bitch of a stepmother that will never love her like her own because most of the time people never love other people's kids like they would their own

This is the smartest thing you've said on this thread. It would be great if your 19 y/o girlfriend felt the same way, but it is obviously much less likely she will for any length of time.

[1averagejoe]

Well, I understand why you would say that, but I disagree.

As we all know vashti, maturity and age don't go hand in hand...but I agree with you.

The situation is BOTH of you ****ed up. You BOTH now have a responsibility to take care of this child. The best thing to do is to separate, not date in a LONG time especially with your child around. Pointing fingers at one or the other isn't going to do jack shit for your situation. There has been plenty of good advice on here, I recommend you BOTH listen to it.

[profchaos71]

.
fortunately i couldnt care less if you agree.I already said i am wrong for having gotten myself into this.But my age doesnt make me 100% responsible.So tell me at what age are people responsible for their actions?What magical age do you assholes think marks the point where she would be equally at fault in your enlightened opinion?I really want to know what perfect,completely mature people like yourselves think on the subject.I only posted on here because she wasnt telling the whole story and i was curious what others thought about us staying together or splitting up PERIOD.I think we have rerached a good decision.thank you to all of you that managed not to be judgemental "i'm so much more mature than you" douchebags.I wonder what we would discover if we knew anything about your lives hhmmm?? Must be nice to always make the adult choice regardless of the situation and then spend your time in relationship blogs judging others.If your life and relationships were so great and mature i hardly doubt you would even be hanging around this site at all.It says something about you that this is where you spend your time on a friday night dontcha think??Anyhow, i wont be posting or replying anymore.I have a child to raise,a country to defend and a good job to go to and bills to pay.Not bad for an immature asshole that takes advantage of poor innocent defensless 20 year old little girls.

[profchaos71]

thanks for stating the obvious,We both know and have repeatedly stated that we are both at fault.Dont write anything else until you come up with something helpful or an original idea.You must have a thrilling life to even be here on a friday night instead of out with friends or with your significant other or spending time with your kids if you have any.And if you dont have any of those things,you dont have room to talk so shut the f up captain obvious

[1averagejoe]

thanks for stating the obvious,We both know and have repeatedly stated that we are both at fault.Dont write anything else until you come up with something helpful or an original idea.You must have a thrilling life to even be here on a friday night instead of out with friends or with your significant other or spending time with your kids if you have any.And if you dont have any of those things,you dont have room to talk so shut the f up captain obvious

Haha...quite hypocritical of you considering you can't find someone your own age on a "Friday night." So instead you go out with a naive 19yro and knock her up. You're practically her dad's age. So don't be so rash with the things you say.

It's always funny when people want advice, but when it's not what they want to hear they bitch and moan and attempt to insult others.

Best of luck,
Captain Obvious