Would you rather Love or Be Loved?

**GBRaul** · 01-09-04, 05:50 PM

Actually its Cantonese kermy. It's a Chinese dialect, not exactly Chinese. But I do not agree that being loved by somebody is lucky, cos like people in this thread including me I think have been saying, being loved by somebody (and you don't feel the same way about them) sucks cos you have to break the other person's heart. Also, this can spoil really good friendships the two of you had at first.

**LucidDream** · 02-09-04, 09:54 AM

wow, didnt realise this thread would be so popular!
Well, I just think that I have so much love to give, and I want to give it. I only want to be loved so I know that they will accept my love, not neseseraly the feeling of being loved myself.
But I guess that could change if I was in a relationship, bit I still think that giving love would still give me a better feeling than receiving.

**GBRaul** · 03-09-04, 08:13 PM

I have a lot of love to give too... I think it's better to give rather than receive cos I'd rather be the one who gets hurt than the one who hurts another. Though when I start getting pissed or pessimistic or both I start feeling the other way around. Heh...

**KalCarter21** · 03-09-04, 08:34 PM

better when you have both going on for you IMO.

**GBRaul** · 03-09-04, 08:38 PM

Of course... but if you just have to choose one... refer to above

**Elysium** · 03-09-04, 10:25 PM

I'd rather choose neither than have only one of the two.

**BillyGalbreath** · 03-09-04, 10:35 PM

Originally Posted by Elysium

neither one is very enjoyable for me unless both are happening at the same time

Brilliant !

You can love. You can be loved. But both are extremely painful unless they are happening at the same time between the same two people.

If I had to choose between just one of the two, I would choose solitude.

**KalCarter21** · 03-09-04, 11:12 PM

meh...love's to overrated these days anyway....

but yeah if i could only choose just one than i wouldnt pick anything, its just better when it happens all at the same time.

**Breezy18** · 04-09-04, 07:18 AM

Oh my gosh, I definately would NOT pick none if I could only choose one. Loving someone else brings almost as much, (maybe more in some cases) joy as being loved by someone. Yes, I would definately pick to love someone and not have it returned than to have someone love me that I could not love back. Being with someone you love, even if you can only be friends, is one of the sweetest feelings on earth. Watching them laugh, smile or just talking with them is incredible. Yes, the only thing to top that is having them someday return your feelings.

**squirrley** · 04-09-04, 07:37 AM

Wow Breezy! I agree completely. Even the feeling of loving a friend is fantastic. I wouldnt choose either one. I have been by myself for 5 years, and still loved people around me. Granted I didnt have a b/f to give those loved feelings too, I knew someday or know someday I will have so much to give someone it might be overwhelming, but I also know one day I will get those feelings in return, and that thought alone puts a smile on my face. Because ONE day it will happen. And Im pretty happy with my life with or without giving that special kind of love. It will be good for me one day, as it will for others.

**jane** · 04-09-04, 08:40 AM

ok.. would i rather be loved or love? ... hhmm....

Well.. I guess i would rather love, and this is why...

I think that when someone loves you.. really loves you, and you cant return them, I think your life gets harder..IF your a poliet person, everything you do and say is sometimes under a microscope. The "lover" is always looking for that hidden meaning or the mystery on how you actually feel. I would hate to tell someone I really cherished as a friend.. hey..btw... i dont love you. That would be sad and of course the obvious friendship would be differnet too.
When you love from afar so to speak , you can harbor feelings and maybe never be honest .. but at least you know that your feelings are real. Sounds like a cop-out huh?
as my motto says... better to love and lose then never to love at all.

**nomas** · 04-09-04, 09:11 AM

I'm with the bunch that would prefer to love and not to be loved, if you can only have one. All the reasons have been said, as well as the fact that it is always ideal to have both coincide in two people.

Now I want to take it one step further.

You always hear of the classic case where at some point someone loves you and you cannot feel the same thing for this person. Then some time passes by. Then you see this person again and the reverse happens...you feel for this person and they no longer feel the same for you.

Oooh, that one's gotta hurt.

Ever happened to you/anyone you know? They say it happens all the time. It hasn't really happened to me to a large degree. There was a case where back in like junior high it was sorta apparent that this girl was into me, but I was just civil and friendly with her..not necessarily treated her special. Well about 2 years later she was hanging with the popular crowd and we didn't have classes together and at this point her attitude toward me was just below indifference. She'd say "hi" if we made eye-contact, but not necessarily if we just passed each other with others around. It's not that I didn't like her back early on..I think I DID think she was attractive, but I was in 7th grade and didn't think I could necessarily do anything about it. No car, no job, I had nothing to offer..not that she was asking for anything..she probably would have been okay with just the holding hands from class to class thing..but I was too mature for that. Now that I am older and more mature, I view that as a stupid attitude. That's the time to do that sort of thing. You have to go through the phases and I missed out. This lack of foundation probably has been the root of later shyness toward girls. Maybe they've always been excuses, these "mature" attitudes..

Ah well, I wen't off on my own little story, but stick to that question I posted, if you will...about whether it's happened to you where you not liked someone, then the reverse happens..

Freddie

**Breezy18** · 04-09-04, 02:24 PM

I've been in your shoes Freddie, and yeah, it sucks to find out later that yeah, I could have had something with someone had I not had blinders on at the time. This happened a long time ago now, but I still think of "A" and wonder, what if? But now I also find myself in the reverse situation. There is this guy who I wanted to be with, almost the point of desperation, and he only wanted to be friends. It killed me for a while, but eventually I got used to it and slowly those feelings, for one reason or another, drifted away. I think of him solely as a good friend now, but HE is now trying desperately to get me to notice him. I can't say that he's in love with me for sure, but I kinda get that feeling from the things he does and says. I can only hope that he realizes I just want to be friends now and has resigned himself to that fact. Wouldn't it be great if someday we could all fall in love with someone who felt the exact same thing at the exact same time? wow. What a concept.

**LucidDream** · 05-09-04, 10:03 AM

Sounds like Heaven to me!

**kanzaki** · 05-09-04, 10:05 AM

being loved is better to me cuz i rather be treate as a queen than a slave

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