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Thread: Help dealing with my mother...

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    God, this could go on Jerry Springer. Don't your parents have anything better to do than harass and commit fraud on their child? Are they really redneck or what?
    My parents actually run a financial firm, and for several years used my name as a puppet to operate their business... ._.

    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    I was going to suggest a lawyer also. Or perhaps start with the police. You could tell them you are being threatened and get a restraining order on him.

    Your parents are insane. Your own parents are trying to scam you, kiddo. They have no integrity at all.

    Why haven't you blocked them yet?? Why did you give them money again?? You are creating your own mess here. Bounce the email back as 'undeliverable'. Break contact completely.

    If you must, send a brief message saying the following:

    Please stop trying to contact me. All your messages are going to my trash unread. I have a record of all your communication to me. I have contacted the police. If you contact me again, I will follow up and get a restraining order on you.

    Do actually contact the police, bring a copy of the email where your stepfather threatened you. If this were not your family, you would be arresting them for fraud. I believe the cutoff for minor theft is $<2000 and this is much more.
    I did block them, but I informed them that I have left a 3rd party (their secretary) can contact me to fulfill business needs as I transition away from them (I thought that was the decent thing to do...).

    ____

    I have until the end of October to defend myself.. I guess. I am meeting with a Lawyer on Saturday to see what legal rights I have in protecting myself. So... I'll keep this thread updated. :/
    Last edited by TheTooya; 27-09-12 at 09:17 AM.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTooya View Post
    My parents actually run a financial firm, and for several years used my name as a puppet to operate their business... ._.
    ROFL! There's some irony, right there.

    Your 'parents' (I use the term loosely) sound horrible. Sorry, hun.

    What's good in your life? All well with your GF, despite all the drama?
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    ROFL! There's some irony, right there.

    Your 'parents' (I use the term loosely) sound horrible. Sorry, hun.

    What's good in your life? All well with your GF, despite all the drama?
    I.. don't know. I just got a promotion at my work, so theres some good there. I think if it wasn't for the promotion, and if it wasn't for my company telling me they will take legal action to stop my family from harassing other employees...I'd be pretty lost. My GF is managing the best she can despite all of this. I have been a bit of a mess, so she has shouldered a bit of my stress... but I have been doing my best to not weigh her down.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTooya View Post
    if it wasn't for my company telling me they will take legal action to stop my family from harassing other employees..
    That's crazy. You are mixing work and personal life. You are lucky your company hasn't found a way to get rid of you. If an employee's family started doing something like that where I work, they would ask them to take a leave to get their personal issues sorted out.

    If you have all this evidence, yours and others, I can't understand why you haven't gone to the police/courts yet. Something smells wrong with your story. My BS detectors are going off, Tooya. What is your contribution to all this?
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    That's crazy. You are mixing work and personal life. You are lucky your company hasn't found a way to get rid of you.
    My manager has told me that he has seen no lapse in quality of work since the beginning of this... craziness.

    I have been doing my best to keep my personal life away from my work life, but I felt threatened and went to my companies HR/legal team. HR/Legal won't help me on a personal level (understandably), but they said they will ensure that all employees feel that working at HomeAway is a safe haven.

    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    If you have all this evidence, yours and others, I can't understand why you haven't gone to the police/courts yet. Something smells wrong with your story. My BS detectors are going off, Tooya. What is your contribution to all this?
    When it comes down to it... I just don't want to provoke them. I know if my company issues out that cease and desist letter, my parents will get even worse, and I'm tired of all this fighting. If I go to the police, I am being a bad person that is trying to turn on the very people that brought me up and took care of me and my education.

    I'm not a vindictive person... The last thing I want to do, is try and attack my family's livelihood (and that includes my younger sister). I just want to be left alone, and no matter how hard I try, they keep tightening their grip.


    I am seeing a lawyer on Saturday to get a better understanding of how to legally protect myself.


    ==
    Edit:
    Also, I am not my parents, and I don't want to feel like I have to stoop to their level. They can sue me all they want... but I feel like I would be an ungrateful son if I sued them. ... Also its just sounds messed up, someone suing his own parents, or reporting their parents to the police.


    I just... don't want to be the bad guy. Me suing my parents makes me the bad guy. Me reporting my parents grief to the police makes me the bad guy. I am always trying to peacefully resolve everything, and right now... its very tough
    Last edited by TheTooya; 28-09-12 at 04:59 AM.

  6. #36
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    ... and I realize I just dumped 24 years of supression.. sorry about that. I've been controlled and manipulated my entire life, and a large part of me is having trouble coping with this situation. Coping with whats going, coping with what I probably could or should do to get my parents out of my life, and coping with the consequences of having an understandable reason to go after me.

    I think all of this... I should probably bring to the therapist. 3rd meetings on monday... so.. meh :/

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTooya View Post
    ... and I realize I just dumped 24 years of supression.. sorry about that. I've been controlled and manipulated my entire life, and a large part of me is having trouble coping with this situation. Coping with whats going, coping with what I probably could or should do to get my parents out of my life, and coping with the consequences of having an understandable reason to go after me.

    I think all of this... I should probably bring to the therapist. 3rd meetings on monday... so.. meh :/
    Your parents major problem right now is that you're refusing to be controlled any longer. THAT is a good beginning. Keep seeing the therapist.

    What controlling/abusive people do when that happens is ratchet up the pressure... they escalate, try more and more radical, even outlandish methods to try and regain control. Sound familiar?

    You wouldn't BELIEVE (well, maybe you would) some of the things that came out of my wife's ex's mouth while they were married. He also continued calling, trying to browbeat her into doing what he wanted, even when it was violating his restraining order. Trying for MONTHS after she left - didn't give up until a year later when I answered the phone.

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