Why would my older boyfriend (12 yrs older) want to know every man that contacts me?

[michelle23]

The whole reason for my post was to see if it was normal behavior for an older man to want to know everyone who tries to message you, etc. but after writing I obviously have more concerns. I guess I am having a problem with him telling me he cares for me but not really showing it. I wish he was more consistent. In his mind maybe he thinks he is doing enough. I just need to sit him down again and really try and understand. I think I need to tell him if he can't find some time for us then how is it going to work. I might go 3 weeks without seeing him and then see him twice in a week. He always says lets just see when I am free and you are free and we will go from there.

Thats a booty call. you see him twice a month? How much do you know about this man? Have you met his family/friends? Are you sure hes not married? You never hear from him unless it suits him... Id skip the chit chat and Id be running girl.

[IndiReloaded]

I think the reason he doesn't show it is b/c he really doesn't care. And, given his controlling tendencies, that's lucky for you. When you break up (and you should) you won't have a stalker to deal with. Hopefully. If you are smart about how you handle him.

Again, for contrast, my SO and I had to juggle busy schedules and we sometimes went a week+ w/o seeing each other. But the distance was very hard on us both and we stayed connected other ways. We were actively planning how to be together--that's what couples in love do. And much earlier than the 8 months you've invested.

Just tell him its not working out. Keep it light and don't get into an argument about it. Flatter the hell out of him to keep his ego in check. But move on quickly.

Good luck.

[sweet42]

Thank you "Wakeup". It helps alot for someone to point things out.

[sweet42]

but he never suggests sex, haha So he is not even getting booty, lol He is divorced. He has a high profile position and many people know him. He didn't grow up with a father and I know his mother got around. He kind of was raised by all woman. (Aunts).

[Wakeup]

but he never suggests sex, haha So he is not even getting booty, lol He is divorced. He has a high profile position and many people know him. He didn't grow up with a father and I know his mother got around. He kind of was raised by all woman. (Aunts).

Are you his "beard?"

So, what are you going to do with a man that isn't satisfying even your emotional needs? (forget the sex if neither of you are sussed with not getting any. it's not an issue if that's the case.)

[sweet42]

Glad I can make you laugh "Wakeup" haha I guess it does sound kind of ridiculous!

[sweet42]

well, he is reaping the benefits because I always take care of him if you know what I mean. I am not getting taken care of. When someone has to ask what they can do for you, it kind of ruins it!

[michelle23]

haha you amaze me. add lack of orgasms to the mix of all the other problems you mentioned and what have you got? *THE INVISIBLE MAN*

[sweet42]

Well at least I am laughing now, lol So what the hell am I doing????????????

[sweet42]

That is a whole other story lol Maybe its his age, lol After reading all the things I just wrote, geesh he is benefiting from the whole relationship.

[Wakeup]

That is a whole other story lol Maybe its his age, lol After reading all the things I just wrote, geesh he is benefiting from the whole relationship.

Well you've logiced it out.

[michelle23]

yes your the giver, hes the taker. relationships are supposed to be a two way street. its supposed to be fun, loving, passionate romantic. together 8months? he should be sneaking away at lunchtime to aggressively bang you up against a wall, should be rushing home from work to see you on a friday to whisk you away on a romantic trip , should be sending you cute good morning texts and ringing you at night, should waant to gto know you properly-hours talking into the night.

this should be the happiest time of your life-exciting, intense, passion, butterflies, walking on a cloud. instead your full of anxiety, doubts and confusion.

its going nowhere why drag it out?

[sweet42]

I just sent a message and asked if I will be seeing him soon. We will see how long it takes him to respond. I am definitely going to setup a talk.

[sweet42]

you hit it right on the head Michelle23, full of anxiety, doubts and confusion!

[michelle23]

so... is it really worth it? if your not having fun, then your doing it wrong. dating is not supposed to be so upsetting. just replace him-get all dressed up, sit at a bar-see what happens