Bothered by a guy (loooooong!!!)

[Primo]

Well hes working in the same area as me today..which he wouldnt have to do only through his own choice. i saw him and he tried to talk to me..i just carried on walking and pretended i didnt hear him.

You should ask him if he thinks your belly button piercing is sexy, then wriggle your hips very sensuously, pull your sweater up just a bit to expose your midriff and show him

[qwertz]

Ok I'll do that and see what he says

[qwertz]

Today has been a day to forget!!

I found out this morning that he has told some people that we work with (that work more with him than me, and i dont really know them very well) that we have been 'dating' over the last few weeks!!!!
Well I found out and lets just say i found my inner bitch! I had it out with him and he denied saying what i had been told he had so i said my piece and left it at that.

I also had a quiet chat with our boss and just let him know what had been going on and he said he would have a word with him.
That was this morning, this afternoon ive been working in an area with restricted access so I didnt see him.
Well, I get out at work end and check my mobile....27 missed calls!!! 3 messages, 2 asking me to phone him and 1 saying 'for ****s sake'

I didnt reply and just headed to my car..only to find him waiting next to it! He starts ranting and raving about how could i tell our boss and why am i being such a bitch..he went on for about 5 mins while blocking my car door (i didnt attempt to get to it as he was stood right against drivers door) he just basically repeated himself in different ways..the he starts crying!!!
He then walks off and says 'dont f*cking die will you'

All the while he was doing this i didnt really react- only to say that he is blowing it all up (that made him shout more!!!)

To be honest he really freaked me out..its the first time he really has.. I drove home crying (lol )
After about 20 mins of being home theres a knock at my door...its him- he starts going on about how i led him on and im a shallow bitch and starts a whole load of personal insults that i wont go into on here. this was all on my doorstep.
I shut the door on him in the end- he knocked a few more times but i ignored it.
Since then my phone has rang about 40 times(no jk) he must be pressing redial straight away so ive turned my phone off.

Ive been thinking over and over about whether i led him on in any way but i really dont think i did- and my friends agree(they would tell me if they thought i did)
Im really not sure what to do. Obviously this has all escalated cause i stood up to him, put him straight and informed our boss.

I feel a bit vulnerable and really upset and freaked out. Maybe im over reacting and he will calm down but ive never seen him like that before. Im not sure what to do now...

[Primo]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbIsqWpoCog"]YouTube - Qwerty & her co-worker[/ame]

[girl68]

Does your department have HR? Contact them this is HARRASSMENT. If you don't have HR tell your boss again what happened.

You did good by ignoring him but he is STILL a threat. Maybe not phsyically, but in many ways he's acting in a way that is very harmful.

Tell someone AGAIN.

[Primo]

Seriously Qwerty, you may have to take things a bit further if he's that delusional.

[qwertz]

Lol, that made me smile


Yeh we have a HR department, i guess thats my next step. Its not so much at work- i can get away from him there lol its away from work- as it would surely be classed as personal time especially since i know him first from away from work.

[qwertz]

Yeh i realise that..I was thinking about informing the police, just so they have it on record the problems im having with him- but then i thought they may contact him and he will get worse, im not sure- he might of calmed down tomorrow.
I think he is dellusional, ive never encouraged him and this isnt normal behaviour!

[Heratriumphant]

Call the cops. If they do contact him it should scare the shit out of him. And go buy some mace. Ooo! Or a taser! This bro needs tazing! Zap! LOL

[qwertz]

Call the cops. If they do contact him it should scare the shit out of him. And go buy some mace. Ooo! Or a taser! This bro needs tazing! Zap! LOL

Theyre a bit illegal here and i dont think id trust myself with either!!!

He's ringing the bloody landline now..d*ck

[Heratriumphant]

You really should call the cops and have THEM come answer the phone once.

[IndiReloaded]

Does your department have HR? Contact them this is HARRASSMENT. If you don't have HR tell your boss again what happened.

You did good by ignoring him but he is STILL a threat. Maybe not phsyically, but in many ways he's acting in a way that is very harmful.

Tell someone AGAIN.

Call the cops. If they do contact him it should scare the shit out of him. And go buy some mace. Ooo! Or a taser! This bro needs tazing! Zap! LOL

These two things. The police may seem extreme but they have GREAT people who can tell you what to do to prevent things from escalating. Its still early days, it may be possible to turn this guy away from you w/o a lot of drama.

Oh, and we've got other threads on here about stalkers, suggest you do a search. Bottom line is: KEEP EVERYTHING. All your phone messages, emails, start writing a list of the physical things he's done to you (start with the things you wrote on this forum).

Be very careful. Its not like the old days. Unless you can document what has been happening, the woman is not always believed. Unfortunately, too many woman have lied about this kind of thing (not saying you are) and it makes it that much harder for the legitimate cases.

Above all, right now: STOP engaging this man. Whatever he does, do not respond to him. Make a note of it, contact whoever is appropriate. But understand: he can't have your romance, so he'll take whatever attention he can get from you.

Do you have a friend with a BIG BF you can borrow to threaten to kick this guys ass? That tends to end these kinds of things rather quickly.

Good luck, be careful.

[IndiReloaded]

You really should call the cops and have THEM come answer the phone once.

Change your number to unlisted. Then change it back to a regular line in a few months. Its worth it for the few $$ extra it will cost you.

[qwertz]

These two things. The police may seem extreme but they have GREAT people who can tell you what to do to prevent things from escalating. Its still early days, it may be possible to turn this guy away from you w/o a lot of drama.

Oh, and we've got other threads on here about stalkers, suggest you do a search. Bottom line is: KEEP EVERYTHING. All your phone messages, emails, start writing a list of the physical things he's done to you (start with the things you wrote on this forum).

Be very careful. Its not like the old days. Unless you can document what has been happening, the woman is not always believed. Unfortunately, too many woman have lied about this kind of thing (not saying you are) and it makes it that much harder for the legitimate cases.

Above all, right now: STOP engaging this man. Whatever he does, do not respond to him. Make a note of it, contact whoever is appropriate. But understand: he can't have your romance, so he'll take whatever attention he can get from you.

Do you have a friend with a BIG BF you can borrow to threaten to kick this guys ass? That tends to end these kinds of things rather quickly.

Good luck, be careful.

I have the love letter, loads of messages from him, emails, friends have emails that have gone on between them with regards to me. Also the carpark at work has cctv everywhere so it def would be on camera.

I have a couple of male friends who would quite like to kill him right now, but im not sure whether i want to get them involved in that way(not to kill him lol)

Shit, this feels horrible, my mind is working overtime on things that have happened over the last few days that couldve been him...it didnt enter my head it could be him...but then i think im maybe being a bit paranoid and adding 2 and 2 together and getting 5

[qwertz]

I can get unknown numbers and his blocked from my landline..i just have to ring the company- i will do that in the morning.