Men

[Wakeup]

Then talk to a lawyer and get proper custody arrangements and schedules in place. If you don't you're just playing with fire and that's not even taking into consideration his sex life but rather arguments and such over when and how much.

This should all be arranged right now before the baby is a toddler and your ex thinks that he can come and take him whenever he wants. If his mother wants to know why you've asked the courts to have his visits at her home then tell her why. If your baby's interests are your focal point then you're going to have to get over trying to please everyone and just focus on what's best for the baby and if that means telling your MIL your fears, then so be it.

I think you should talk to your ex about keeping new women from coming in and out of his young life though. It's just a better upbringing if he does that. It's not fair to a little one to be bonding with lots of different women only to lose them for yet another one. Very confusing and emotionally wrenching not to mention it will teach him that women are disposable commodities that one shouldn't keep around for long.

[bcgirl]

It ain't healthy for a kid growing up witnessing dad with different women, trying to pick up women using sleezy lines, degrading women etc. by the time the kid is 8 he will most likely be a computer whiz given the generation we are right now. It's only a matter of time before the kid finds all these inappropriate messages to random girls. As for your ex, hope that "how to catch a predator" will embarrass him on national tv

[michelle23]

Oh for ****s sake I wish someone would kick backuporgetstrong off this site. You are a bloody narcissist/sex addict so of course your gonna stick up for him but every other man and woman on here has said that his behavior is not normal! What makes you think that you are right and everyone else is wrong?

You have given a lot of bad advice on here but I normally just ignore you coz most people dont listen or value your opinion anyway but you are only trying to justify your own bad behavior now by sticking up for the OP's ex.

Get some therapy moron!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

First, I don't care about anyone else's opinion, and just because the majority shares it, doesn't make them right. I've said that the guy's behavior isn't normal, I just don't think he's any danger to his son, and of all those who have responded, no one has provided any valid reason that he would be. You're just an irrational, emotional, whiny wench who exaggerates and blows everything out of proportion.

I've never double teamed a drunk teenager. As I said in another thread, I'm too introspective to be a narcissist. I'm just a dick. I don't really know what constitutes a sex addict, but if the threshold his just a couple times a week like it is for alcoholism then sure, check me off as one. You're a sheep.

[bearz]

I have to agree with BackUp, there doesn't seem to be no evidence or medical proof that this guy is doing anything illegal or has mental health issues. This probably even wouldn't get to a court hearing. That being said, what the guy was and still is doing isn't ok. It's a messed up situation the OP is in and it's probably something she'll have to deal with for a long, long time.

[michelle23]

She already said he spends more time on the computer trying to get laid than he spends with his newborn son. He has sexually assaulted her in her sleep. If you dont think theres something messed up about that-then you have issues.

He is a sex addict.

The term "sexual addiction" is used to describe the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of sex tend to dominate the sex addict's thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships.

Sex addicts engage in distorted thinking, often rationalizing and justifying their behavior and blaming others for problems. They generally deny they have a problem and make excuses for their actions.

Sexual addiction also is associated with risk-taking. A person with a sex addiction engages in various forms of sexual activity, despite the potential for negative and/or dangerous consequences. In addition to damaging the addict's relationships and interfering with his or her work and social life, a sexual addiction also puts the person at risk for emotional and physical injury.

For some people, the sex addiction progresses to involve illegal activities, such as exhibitionism (exposing oneself in public), making obscene phone calls, or molestation. However, it should be noted that sex addicts do not necessarily become sex offenders.

Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include:

Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation)
Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands
Consistent use of pornography
Unsafe sex
Phone or computer sex (cybersex)
Prostitution or use of prostitutes
Exhibitionism
Obsessive dating through personal ads
Voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking
Sexual harassment
Molestation/rape
Generally, a person with a sex addiction gains little satisfaction from the sexual activity and forms no emotional bond with his or her sex partners. In addition, the problem of sex addiction often leads to feelings of guilt and shame. A sex addict also feels a lack of control over the behavior, despite negative consequences (financial, health, social, and emotional).

The things I have highlighted in bold are his behavior that we know of. Im sure the OP could bold a few more.

[michelle23]

. You're just an irrational, emotional, whiny wench who exaggerates and blows everything out of proportion.
You're a sheep.

All I can say is LOL! I am not exaggerating. I would not want my child around a man who thinks its alright to treat women like sex objects. If I was a "sheep" I would agree with you but I dont and Im not backing down!

[michelle23]

The interplay of narcissism and sexual addiction:
The self-love of the psychopath narcissist prevents him from maintaining normal, healthy intimate relationships. His narcissism drives him to fantasies in which he is the center of focus, the king, the enabler of others. Normal sexual intimacy with his partner no longer satisfies him, and he makes his fantasies come true. Excessive porn consumption, perverted sexual acts with strangers, lewd sexual positions, multiple partners simultaneously, and ever-increasing risk become the only means to feed his narcissistic cravings.

Who suffers the most at the hands of the psychopath narcissist sex addict?

The person closest to him.

In most cases, this is his wife, girlfriend, or child.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

None of that describes my sexual desires or experiences, so thanks for proving my point.

As for not wanting your child to be around someone who treats women as sex objects, that is completely fine. It's just not legal grounds to keep the father from seeing and raising the child. That's what this whole argument is about...whether or not she has a legal ground to stand on to withhold her child from his father...she doesn't.

[michelle23]

I never said she should stop him from seeing the kid. I said she should suss out her legal rights first of all and find out where she stands legally. I then said she should organise supervised access and she should voice her concerns to his parents as they may be able to help him.

Im not saying that she should cut all contact with him but if she has concerns for her childs mental, physical or emotional health then it is her job as a mother to ensure he is safe and right now him staying alone with his dad scares the hell out of her as she does not trust this man

[Ann S]

This guy sounds like a sex addict to me. All his behaviors scream, "SEX ADDICT!" This is a long recovery process if one want to stop it. Look up sex addicts anonymous if you want more information about this. And I would do anything necessary to protect your child from someone you have concerns about. I'd advise you to contact a lawyer (legal aid is free) to see what your rights are. This is serious. There are so many people whose parents didn't protect them from all kinds of abuse, sexual included, and it is traumatizing and leaves a huge life scar. DO SOMETHING! Ann

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I think you should cut contact until he gets counselling.

Go through the courts for full custody

Michelle, you are full of shit. It doesn't really matter either way though, nor does it matter what Jen wants. Any court would laugh this out of the courthouse, and in Brazil, sex capital of the world, I don't know if a judge will even hear this.

[michelle23]

Yes until he gets help. Sex addiction is serious and no court of law would laugh at this matter if they thought the baby was gonna be around a sex predator.

If you still cannot see that he is a potential danger to this child then i give up arguing with you. He is just going to get more and more out of control until he stops being in denial and admits that he has a problem.

Like all addicts-the only relationship he has is with himself and his addiction. The addiction will always come first until he beats it and sex will be his only priority. Alcholics get so drunk that they could fall asleep and the house could go up in flames and their kids die. A sex addict is impulsive, irratic, out of control. He could easily walk out that door to meet someone for sex and leave the kid behind or expose the child to sexual behaviour. I have even heard of sex addicts bringing their kid to a brothel with them so they can get their fix.

He is a danger to this child and if she can prove he is a sex addict, every court house, psychologist and social worker will be on her side.

[Wakeup]

Michelle, you are full of shit. It doesn't really matter either way though, nor does it matter what Jen wants. Any court would laugh this out of the courthouse, and in Brazil, sex capital of the world, I don't know if a judge will even hear this.

I thought Taiwan was the Sex Capital of the World?

[bearz]

That would be Thailand, close enough though.