how to forget

[pinkpuca84]

mmm...just let me know how u get over and forget ur exes. i might be doing it wrong. i dont think i need a "professional". cos in that 10 yrs, i must repeat, i DID NOT just waiting for him. i had some loves too, but not enough to say that i love them as much as i love this guy. thats my point. i'm certainly not in a state where i'm DYING to be with him...hell no...i'm not THAT obsessed....trust me. it's just i want to get rid of this feeling for this guy, thats all...

[JohnMalkovich]

Look, nothing is wrong with you. What you have here is: see, it seems we have crushes on people we're compatible with - it's very natural. Most people probably never find this person of "perfect match" so they will never understand the intensity of your desire to have your "match."

[TAVS]

Look, nothing is wrong with you. What you have here is: see, it seems we have crushes on people we're compatible with - it's very natural.

Exactly, but you see with emotionally stable people understand it is not meant to be; and let it go.

[King Zarathu]

Especially because those are the years in which development comes very rapidly! The changes a child makes when they grow from 12 to 15 or from 15 to 18 is huge compared to the changes when going from 55 to 58.

More specifically, you don't masturbate as much :-!

[Gigabitch]

How much older is he than you? I read your posts about this when you let him see your MSN page, but I don't remember any details.

I know you probably think you're "all grown up" now, but you might still be a kid in his eyes.

I think the only way you're going to be able to deal with this problem is to, you know, DEAL with it. Talk to him. No, really. Be a big girl and tell him how you feel. In person.

No matter what happens, you'll be ending the Childhood Crush chapter and opening a new one.

And don't take advice about men from your mom. That's just weird.

[King Zarathu]

And don't take advice about men from your mom. That's just weird.

You can say that again; I don't take advice about men from my mom either.

[JohnMalkovich]

I think it's great that your mom talks to you about relationships. She has experience and can certainly help you - so you don't repeat some of the mistakes she's made. I'm sure she wants what's best for you and is trying to help you. I say, listen to your mom carefully and try to pick up on some true and tried wisdom.

[pinkpuca84]

How much older is he than you?

he's the same age as me (22)

And don't take advice about men from your mom. That's just weird.

cos i'm the only child. and trust me...i'm not that "obidience" like you might all think. i tried to "fight" with her abt the guys that i dated. but it never worked out. u dont understand my mum, she controls who i can date or can not date. it's not like it's hard for me to get another bf or something, but it certainly HARD for me to get my parents approval. and i love my parents so much, i dont wanna make them upset, let alone get sick (mentally and physically) for worrying too much about me. (my dad had high blood pressure, and he had a stroke when i was 13 yrs old....so it's possible that it will attack him again...and i cant let him go thru that, just because of a guy that i dated)

so it's even harder for me to move on from this guy, cos my parents regard him and his family as THE best yet far, they are such a good friends. (just like the way i regard him as THE best also, really....long before my parents become friends with his parents) and they believe i would have a good life later on when i finally with him. (sory about repeating this, i believe i already mentioned this in my last posts) my friends even told me to wait for him, and become friends with him in the mean while, take it one step at atime, cos people change....i want to believe it's true...but it's just so hard right now...it seems like that dream is so unreachable. (note: yes...i was chubby/fat/dark skin/BIG frizzy hair/sweaty skin and all u name it...when i was 12 yrs old...and i chased him by giving him too much presents...like putting snacks in his desk at school every morning, and all those silly things...but i never actually said "hey...i like you")

so, i understand why he hated me back then...maybe i smothered him too much (well..not maybe...it's CERTAINLY) unfortunately the effects go on til now, huh? even tho i've changed....it doesnt change the way he feels towards me...i agree about this one with Ltsk8ergo

[King Zarathu]

Your mother controls who you can and cannot date when you're 22?! What the ****?!?! Holy shit! The parental control over my sex life will never ****ing end will it?!

[pinkpuca84]

and i bet will continue til i'm 42...haha

[Sandman]

me again...he told someone that i'm not his type. i wanna be his type!! whatever he wants me to, i can change for him. what can i do? i dont know what kinda girl he likes,....sometimes i wonder if i'm not pretty enough...not cool enough...not kind enough...not good enough...so thats why he doesnt like me....i know it's such a negative thoughts, but it really destroys my self-esteem.

Oh man, I have seen this before. Your still young and your setting yourself up for terrible pain. This is a recipe for disaster. First of all you should not need a man to raise your self-esteem, first love yourself then you can love someone else. If you need someone to validate you, your gonna put yourself in a world of pain.

[Edit] When I was in highschool I chased the same woman for 4 straight years, and I tried everythng in the book to get her. She treated me like crap, and I loved it because at least she acknowledged my existence. One day I just said the hell with it, and I was so much happier. Make as many excuses as you can, but do your self a favor and move on. You'll thank yourself for it years later.

[confused01]

i agree with some of the others opinion and here is mine let him know what you feel towards him and see wether there is a chnace or not if not try to move on, and love yourself no man in this world cares too much about you as much as yourself and maybe your parents but don't let the m control your love life, i think they are also incouraging you to keep loving this guy. take some of their advices because they might see the side that you don't and analyse it before using it.
Im few years older and i believe you have to grow up and move on. you kind of refuse to grow up by attaching yourself to and old childhood crush.
i hope he'l feel the sae way for you if you think that's what's best for you.
analyse everyone's point of view and see what's best for you dear

[pinkpuca84]

thanks guys for the advice...but here is the deal: i have tried to "grow up" and not attaching myself to this guy...for the past 4 years, i had 4 bfs, and yes...i was happy with them, BUT all those times i realised that i was happy because of companionship. it was different from how i trully feel about this guy. even a smallest thing that he did to me would make me 100 times happier than bigger things that my exes did to me. u see what i mean? so i'm seeking advice about how to trully get over this person. maybe any of u guys have any idea how to get over ur ex (that u TRULLY had the thing with?)

so...i once had the idea that to get over someone, it's better if u find someone new, who loves u, rather than keep on loving a guy who never loves u anyway...(actually...many friends of mine do that...they go out with guys that they dont REALLY love...just like what i did) but then i wonder...if they proceed into marriage later on, doesnt that mean they settle for second best for the rest of their life? i heard that many people do that.....they get married just for the sake of it. and i dont want that. i'm tired with dating guys that i'm not 100% into. ofcourse, it was better than being single...but i just feel it isnt right. maybe i can be happy for like 99% with someone else...but not 100%...and i would feel guilty cos at the back of my mind, i knew that there's someone else who i can love just 1% more...

[confused01]

u can't live like this the rest of your life can you?
i think you better tell him once your are back home and maybe you can sit together and let him know your feelings. if he likes it then good for both of you if not than it's really time to move on. how by focusing on your career and yourlife and beeing very busy with work school, activities and freinds.
love is not marriage you he might like to date you and you have a big chance to be disappointed because he is not like you dreamed about. have you thought about that incase u get disappointed and chocked because he is not exactly the guy of your dreams.
99% sometimes is better than none and believe me no one is 100% happy.
so see what' s in front of you and don't be blind by this guy. someone who loves you and can make you love him back is better than just love from one side
you want to move on keep yourself so busy. that's what i do

[pinkpuca84]

i really dont know how to thank u, Confused01, what u said just struck me, haha...yea...i guess u're so right,....i just never thought of that before...and yea, i agree too that i have to keep myself soooo busy, too busy to even think about love life...haha...really good idea...might as well do that, cos i'm in my final semester at uni...better put my concentration on study, NOTHING ELSE....then after i graduate...concentrate on work...yea...i think i can do that....see what happens btw......thank u so much....u really opened up my eyes. guess i was a fool all these times....