To Move On or Not? I need help...

[furiouspsych]

I'm pretty sure that I do. From my perspective anyway. I kinda wish she would post hers on here for everyone to judge. I can't win a discussion with this girl. She has an answer for everything and I always end up feeling in the wrong. Yes, she's driven and I'm more laid-back. She's a go-getter and I don't "go-get" enough. Is disagreeing about me paying for everything we do enough to warrant a breakup? To me it pretty much is.

We're getting along for now, but she already had me frustrated again earlier today by calling me cheap. To be fair, my friends have said I'm cheap so I suppose I am. I just don't feel that I have been with her. Since she's Chinese and still learning the intricacies of the English language, she can come off as rude sometimes when she's not meaning to.

But anyways, we got a rich spoiled girl who's always gotten what she wants dating a cheap lower-middle class guy who's always expected to plan things and pay. This will end well.

[basilandthyme]

Psych, difference in beliefs which causes disharmony in a relationship is a very good reason to end things. Not that you need a good reason to end a relationship...one can end a relationship simply because they don't want to do it anymore!

[Wakeup]

Since she's Chinese and still learning the intricacies of the English language, she can come off as rude sometimes when she's not meaning to.

I think you're making yet another excuse for her and the very essence that is her. Her lack of "intricacies of the English language" has very little to do with the way she is, is my guess.

[smackie9]

You are swimming against the current on this one.....it's time to let go and drift down stream.....I'm sure there will be someone else who will apprieciate your kind heart and generosity.

[furiouspsych]

You are swimming against the current on this one.....it's time to let go and drift down stream.....I'm sure there will be someone else who will apprieciate your kind heart and generosity.

I'm agreeing with what you all are saying. It's not even feeling right anymore, I guess this recent incident really broke any faith I had that this could work. We met up again Tuesday & had a great time, talked about starting fresh, but I'm just not feeling very strong about this now. My feelings for her are strong, or I would've quit after the first few months…but this seems more and more like a "love isn't enough" situation. Even though I admire her hustle and business mindset, I get sick of every conversation becoming about money/business. It's her passion and honestly I wish that I had a quarter of that passion…it'd certainly make me more successful. It's just not interesting to me and at times I feel like I'm some stock or asset to her that she's just investing (time) in. She's just very matter-of-fact, calculating and it comes off cold sometimes. We express love in different ways, and it's not feeling right to me.

Anyway, I'm going to see her Saturday so I hope that my mind is fully made up to end it by then.

[pritijos]

i think best would be not to move.

[smackie9]

Well that is what I mean about incompatibility. When you share the same passions, and interests you deepen your connection. Her passion is repelling you and this will not work for the long haul. And yes you can't survive on love alone.....you will starve.

[Smila]

Dead on arrival...Your psyche and hers don't align .
Just curious, did you date her because you really found things that you guys shared in common, or is it just for the experience of dating someone exotic?

I've had a couple of friends date foreign girls just for the experience of it ...your guess is as good as mine----trainwreck. One of these relationships even went as far as the altar....well, you know the rest.

[woody]

O.P

Yah, good on you for your decision process. I must say I find it odd she refuses to pay for anything. For me (and yes I am of the female variety), I find it a point of pride to pay when my sweetheart and I go out. I make way less than he does but do what I can when I can. Often, I opted for the 'picnic' or hike or climb in the woods up the bluffs. Lots one can do that's free once your dressed for the weather where ever on the Globe you be.

Perhaps, just maybe what this girl needs is a dose of reality; meaning, maybe part of the reason your in her life is to somehow show her that in today's society, chivalry does not mean paying for everything. It is more about opening the odd door for her or pulling out the chair for her at the restaurant or in our case, the picnic blanket.

I read what others have said. Lots of good points. You'll be seeing her soon and find out more for yourself. Shame she just can't pitch in a bit more on the outings. Perhaps tell her how many women find it empowering to pay now and then. She'll figure it out; yet if she belittles you for not having the abundant supply of dosh, well, that is simply rude and does not bode well. Any one that intentionally shames another for their income level is stink in my books, fancy shoes n'all.

good luck to you and yours