difference between friends and lovers

[automorphism]

You know that movie Dante's peak? Anyway there are these people in a boat and they're going across an acidic lake. The boat is dissolving and someone has to get out to push it the rest of the way or everyone is going to die, but chances are if you jump in the lake to push the boat you're going to die or get severely wounded.

The difference between my best buddy and my girlfriend would be if my buddy and I were in the boat together alone, we would draw straws to see who has to jump in the lake. If it were my girlfriend with me, I'd jump in the lake before she had a chance to react and push the boat to shore. See that's the difference.

Here's another one. Say we're trapped in a room and a bomb is about to go off in ten seconds, and theres a way out but it will take a minute to get out to safety away from the blast radius, but if one person stays they can hold down a button that will make it blow up in a minute instead of ten seconds.

The difference between my best buddy and my girlfriend would be that we would flip a coin to see who has to stay behind, but if I was with my girlfriend then I would stay behind, but she wouldn't leave either because there's no way to jump in the lake first like the previous example, so we would probably both be blown up unless I could convince her to go, but I dunno if I could convince her to go...cause she would never convince me to go. Whereas with a friend I if I got lucky with the coin I'd cry, say goodbye, and run.

These are assuming there's no other solution...otherwise I might try to defuse the bomb but that doesn't apply, it's hypothetical.

[alidile]

i think you have sh**ty friends.

[vinnie00]

You know that movie Dante's peak? Anyway there are these people in a boat and they're going across an acidic lake. The boat is dissolving and someone has to get out to push it the rest of the way or everyone is going to die, but chances are if you jump in the lake to push the boat you're going to die or get severely wounded.

The difference between my best buddy and my girlfriend would be if my buddy and I were in the boat together alone, we would draw straws to see who has to jump in the lake. If it were my girlfriend with me, I'd jump in the lake before she had a chance to react and push the boat to shore. See that's the difference.

Here's another one. Say we're trapped in a room and a bomb is about to go off in ten seconds, and theres a way out but it will take a minute to get out to safety away from the blast radius, but if one person stays they can hold down a button that will make it blow up in a minute instead of ten seconds.

The difference between my best buddy and my girlfriend would be that we would flip a coin to see who has to stay behind, but if I was with my girlfriend then I would stay behind, but she wouldn't leave either because there's no way to jump in the lake first like the previous example, so we would probably both be blown up unless I could convince her to go, but I dunno if I could convince her to go...cause she would never convince me to go. Whereas with a friend I if I got lucky with the coin I'd cry, say goodbye, and run.

These are assuming there's no other solution...otherwise I might try to defuse the bomb but that doesn't apply, it's hypothetical.

I agree. That's what I would do as well in those situations.

[BFTrick]

so the difference between a friend and a lover is that you would die for a lover?

which i read as: i care so much about my lover that i would rather sacrifice myself than see them die. Which sounds like You just like your lovers more.

Which i have to disagree with. I find the line between friends and lovers very blurry.

[alidile]

yeah... if my friends were in danger i would die for them as much as someone i was in love with... especially since there's so much more background. but your example isn't good. i'd also probably put myself in danger to rescue a random child i have no connection with.

[Gribble]

The difference between my best buddy and my girlfriend would be if my buddy and I were in the boat together alone, we would draw straws to see who has to jump in the lake. If it were my girlfriend with me, I'd jump in the lake before she had a chance to react and push the boat to shore. See that's the difference.

I like that analogy.

If I was in that boat with a friend I'd probably chuck him overboard and tell him to push. And then he'd probably tip the boat over and we'd both die.

[Mish]

Actually, this reminds me of a friend of mine from grade school. Her mom was divorced, her dad was a flake and kind of a deadbeat. It was really hard for her mom to do it all by herself, so she found another mom in the same situation and they bought a house together. The two kids were the same age, and when they graduated high school, the moms sold the house, split the profits and went off to buy their own separate houses.

It worked really well. There was no homosexual relationship going on, but there was a serious level of commitment and cooperation. This doesn't seem weird to me. I think more people should consider it.

I think the chances of something like this working out without a lapse in commitment are not that big. I think what helped in this situation was that these were their actual biological kids that they birthed. I am guessing both were divorced and could also reciprocate the feeling of raising kids with a dysfunctional partner, which would have also helped in their commitment.

This situation is a little bit different. What if you adopt a child with a friend then half a year later the friend changes their mind? It's hard putting up with kids, even harder when you don't really have to and they are not your own.

[vashti]

What if you adopt a child with a friend then half a year later the friend changes their mind? It's hard putting up with kids, even harder when you don't really have to and they are not your own.

When you adopt a child, you DO have to take care of them. Legally, they are no different than biological children. In fact, I would say the binds are tighter than in step-relationships, which occur with painful frequency.

I still think it's a bad idea, though. I think what giga was talking about worked because those women NEEDED each other, and also because they basically had what amounted to a finite contract.