And Whose Feeling the Negative Vibe NOW?

[AmericanBastard]

uh huh???

So you wanna F**K till we sweat or what?

[Killerbabe]

Who, me or American Bastard?

[AmericanBastard]

I am AmBas...

But sure y not. You can cum too.

[Killerbabe]

Oh, yeah that's right. I get confused with all those Megans-whats-his-face and MonneyPilots around...

[Bonovox40]

It IS a double standard. Guys say "Oh, women have all the control because men want the sex and women are the ones holding the goods." So if that's the case, why do women have to lure men that way? Are they really so insecure with who they are that they have to turn to primal offerings to get a mate? The power is in both of us, it's up to us if we CHOOSE to let the opposite sex control us. Men DESIRE sex. BUT so do women. Women DESIRE affection and emotional expression. BUT so do men. It's just typically, the values are held differently in terms of wants/needs.

I think it's also that we're inherintly selfish creatures. We all can picture our ideal fantasy mate. Go ahead, think about someone who is both desirable physically and in your mind what they should be like emotionally. That's not so hard now was it? But the point behind this is that it's a FANTASY. We are not perfect, the perfect person in your mind does not exist. Why do we find it so hard to accept that? We all say "I don't have high standards..." or "I've been told i'm such a great person, yet nobody chooses to be involved with me.." It's because we're selfish. We all HOPE to find that fantasy mate. Usually we go towards the raw desires in this case. Going after the tall, leggy supermodel. Or that rough, chisled, biker bad boy. Why? Because we're letting our DESIRE for what we DREAM and FANTASIZE about control us. I think ALL of us have met someone or even just here on the boards, talked with other people that seem like wonderful human beings. And most of us have no idea what many of the other members look like. But have we learned that what we say and can attract others and express our personalities? Of course! But we always fall back on our senses!

We're using everything that is instinctually given to us but that is our downfall. Animals choose mates based on sight, smell, sound, touch, taste. And this is all very important to us as well. But what do we have that they do not use? FREE WILL! HIGHTENED EMOTIONS! LOVE! So why do we reject all of that and turn to primal instinct? Who knows. Maybe it's just easier because it's hardwired into us. Maybe we're just selfish because we know the strong survive and the strong follow instinct.

I kinda think that God gave us more because we're his test. It's our choice to see what we do with these additional feelings. Sure, you can say that "animals show love too!" and they do. But it's instinctually designed. Dogs give affection to their human masters. Dogs also enjoy rolling in fecal matter. :-P When a female is in heat, dogs go crazy to breed no matter who/what type of dog it is. WE can CHOOSE what to do. We don't HAVE to follow the status quo of instinct. That's why I feel that if we make the conscious effort to seriously open up to others, that we will be more happy then if we just accept what we come across, or choose a partner just on the 5 senses. We need to stop going by our "standards". It's unnecessary. Women don't need a giant, rugged man to protect them. Days of cavemen are over. Sure, being strong expresses overall well health, but most people live to be in their 80's. Cavemen and hunter/gathers never did live that long. And guys don't need to only hunt 36-26-36 women. In this day and age you don't need to have big hips to have babies. Even unfertile people are having kids. It's the INSTINCT that is driving our choices. Same thing with infidelity. Guys INSTINCTIVLY want to spread their seed to as many receptive females as possible. But in that case, we're just regressing to an animal. And same with women. Women don't have to go from man to man searching for the best overall protector/provider. That's instinct too. It's not too much to think that God gave us these expanded feelings to do something more than act like a bunch of dogs now is it? It's just up to us to decide if we can handle that kind of responsibility. I think we've all met plenty of people that have decided not to.

If you want more from someone, make sure you find someone that has decided to be a little more human than your average Joe/Jane caveman. Yes, it's hard but this is a test of life. We all lose now and then. But when you win, you'll know it.

[MegansMP]

double standards are gay

[MegansMP]

so how about the yankees

[AmericanBastard]

Wow...you're reading into it too much.

Occaisionally women just want a ding dong ride. When that's the case then what I said works great and has a success rate of 99.9%.

If they want a relationship, then no strings sex SHOULD NOT be used as a ploy with women and thier wicked wiles. It's no different than a man lying to a byrd to get the wahoozit.

BBC1 and Killer...

[BBC1]

Squirrley,

".... I disagree with asking a man right up front with "what do you do for a living?"

I disagree as well. So one good point is to make sure your friends do not bring up this question.. at all. It should come up naturally.

"....I want to get to know HIM not his money making potential. As far as my friends-they may ask it-2 of my friends have 3 kids the other has 4. "

Ohhh.. I have no questions anymore.. it is real tough for them having 3...oh gosh 4 kids to date and moreover to find a person who'll accept them.

...just curious: why would anyone has 4 kids, then divorce?
Ok un Utah they have religious reasons to have 10 kids. all right.
But as far as I know they do not divorce that easily.
What are the reasons in FL?

"......I think the first impressions are the most crucial-but I dont think its right to be fake about it either-dont pretend to be someone youre not just to get the second date."

Who's talking about faking? Is there anyone?
"Selling points" means the truth, true features that are attractive for people.


".....I like to talk about hobbies sports things like that-leave money, x's, those sort of things out. As for my friends I dont know..honestly I dont know what theyre saying about themselves or asking...Im assuming its along the same lines but Im beginning to wonder."

It is good to talk about "things like that", agree. Though lets face it,
there are millions of single females around and I bet most of them
would talk about exactly the same things: sports, hobbies (which are quite similar for many people - can you find a person who'll say I dont like sports at all?)
See... the first crucial impression depends on "chemisty" (which we cant change), style\dress etc (which I bet you can but I am no expert in that) and what you say and how you say. Of course if you want very averge joe
you need to say very average things. But I bet you do not consider yourself average woman. You can do better.

I assume you discuss a lot with your friends and assume you know what they say...well it is never too late to learn

[Bonovox40]

Squirrly, I do get carried away with my philosophical posts don't I? But you know I mean well.

I'm slightly going through what I discussed right now. The girl i'm seeing is not, in my mind, my "fantasy" match. But her personality and attraction on an emotional level is amazing to me. I have to concern of her outward appearance. (she is very attractive, but not my ideal fantasy match) In one aspect, I am glad I am not just head over heels panting like a dog around her. I can concentrate on what is going on between us but also when time comes for physical or intimacy, I am totally down with that. The whole picture makes it better than just meeting some got girl for a one night stand. It's what I feel inside that makes me feel that this is worthwhile.

But the other thing is that I do not KNOW for sure how well of a potential match she is for me as a future partner. She is already looking ahead trying to see my outlook on things, and I cannot for we have not arrived at ANY of those situations mentioned yet. The other thing, is that I am not psychic. Yes, I know, "How can this be?" you all say. But of course, I cannot read her mind and I do not know all the truths behind what she says/feels. So my instinct is to play it safe instead of just HOPING this is all real and accepting everything that she has to offer. It's a contradiction of a sort inside me. One part strives for what she offers, on part strives for security and facts before making a choice. It's putting them together that is difficult. I'm working on that.

I just have to keep reminding myself that I cannot expect fantasy to be reality. Everyone is different, everyone has some flaws and mistakes. It's up to us to decide what is acceptable in a partner, and what is not feasible and stick to our guns. I have to remember to use my heart AND my head. (the one on top of course!)

[BBC1]

Yeah, women do have sex in their teenage years...didn't you?! (What! Loser.) It's just that women, unlike men those bastards, get impregnated. If men were the ones to bear children then our planet would explode with people.

Killerbabe,

I bet you were not a killer for a babe, anyway,
I guess most women get pregnant cuz they _want to_.
Especially if they have several kids.
Simple, isn't it?

[squirrley]

Hell I got a pregnant when I was 18 and not by choice. But one was enough for me and dont want anymore. Hes 15 tomorrow YEEHAW 3 more years to go!

My friends with several children were married-theyre husbands cheated-DIVORCEE.
We've had this discussion before in how hard it is to find someone whose accepting of someone who has a child so wont rehash that whole speel.

But Bono-youre right in so many ways-and I agree with you. Im glad youre looking past the "ideal fantasy" girl-and seeing HER. Good for you! Youre doing well in just going with the flow with her-hint dont overanalyze. Ive done that and I feel like a real asshole today. Lesson one learned for me!

BBC1-Im sorry I wasnt suggesting you were talking about pretending I was just throwin n something else to the mix-cause it happens alot! Example: One of my horrible blind dates I actually dated for a few weeks-the first impression I had of him was a good one-but within a week or so I started to see someone else-omg I had to end that one real quick. Lesson 2 learned for me no more blind dates.

[BBC1]

Bonovox40,

"......."Oh, women have all the control because men want the sex and women are the ones holding the goods." So if that's the case, why do women have to lure men that way? Are they really so insecure with who they are that they have to turn to primal offerings to get a mate?

Look at the real word: what else they can lure men with? Imagine, women are not able/not willing to have sex. How many men they can find to have a family and kids?


".....WE can CHOOSE what to do. We don't HAVE to follow the status quo of instinct. That's why I feel that if we make the conscious effort to seriously open up to others, that we will be more happy then if we just accept what we come across, or choose a partner just on the 5 senses. We need to stop going by our "standards". It's unnecessary. Women don't need a giant, rugged man to protect them. Days of cavemen are over. Sure, being strong expresses overall well health, but most people live to be in their 80's. "

We dont have to.. we can choose... Good words. How about reality check? Ok, say you want to relax and have fun: drink some wine, get naked with friends and out to the streets. Can you choose that? Seems like you can,
but I heard of none who did chose that except where it is allowed, all proper form were filled up and approval was gotten.
See the difference? The society tells us what to do. Whom to chose and why.
Men must be stable, tall, agressive and kinda handsome. Otherwise mom would say he is not good enough for you and female friends would say the same.
We, humans are creatures of society, and we do what it tells us.
No other way. If you go againt its rules... you are dead as a human being.


".....And guys don't need to only hunt 36-26-36 women. In this day and age you don't need to have big hips to have babies. It's the INSTINCT that is driving our choices"

Yes, instinct. But not only. The society tells us with who we are allowed to have sex. Females - with stable, big, tall gentlemen, Males - with young sexy females. Do otherwise, marry a woman 15 years older and you'll immediately feel a gently slap of the society in your own family and with your friends.


"....Women don't have to go from man to man searching for the best overall protector/provider. That's instinct too. It's not too much to think that God gave us these expanded feelings to do something more than act like a bunch of dogs now is it? It's just up to us to decide if we can handle that kind of responsibility"

It is up to us being human or not, follow the rules or not.
If we wont follow, will we still be humans?
When you'll got the gig in the state police , talk about this topic again. You may find some interesting changes inside yourself.

[BBC1]

Bonovox40,

".....So my instinct is to play it safe instead of just HOPING this is all real and accepting everything that she has to offer. It's a contradiction of a sort inside me. One part strives for what she offers, on part strives for security and facts before making a choice. "

Think about it this way: one possible scenario she is a very attractive "model girl", so your confidence is at pressure "how I can keep up with her, can I successfully compete with other guys"?

Is it the case?

[BBC1]

Squirrley,

I bet you learnt a lot. Maybe that why you have just one kid.

"......My friends with several children were married-theyre husbands cheated-DIVORCEE."

Do you believe her? Really? She did not know he is cheating on her and she kept having more kids?
if she knew, why she didnt divorce him before she's got kids? She thought everyhting will be all right?

"...Example: One of my horrible blind dates I actually dated for a few weeks-the first impression I had of him was a good one-but within a week or so I started to see someone else-omg I had to end that one real quick. Lesson 2 learned for me no more blind dates.[/QUOTE]

Interesting, what was he faking?