Help me please Husband wants divorce what should I do?

[stev123]

Some of the advice here is so extreme and ridiculous, I only gave the bottom line. But if you want some honest advice is this.

You lied to him and fair enough, you should never lie about things like that because it is a deal breaker for people. BUT he has a kid with you and he's married, he's spent 8 years with you and needs to man up.
You seem like a reasonable woman trying to save you relationship and that's a very decent thing.
But he expected you to be a virgin, from some pretenious moral stand point, yet now he's taking an unknown woman and sleeping with her in your own house you share with your kids...what kind of behaviour is that? (I mean seriously even if you cheated on me with 10 different guys I would never do something like that) so thats pretty much summing up his 'moral values'.

If you want to save the relationship you can try, but by the looks of it, it's over for him because he's disregarding your feelings and his family and is acting out like a spoilt kid.

I wish the best of luck to you again.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

Some of the advice here is so extreme and ridiculous, I only gave the bottom line. But if you want some honest advice is this.

You lied to him and fair enough, you should never lie about things like that because it is a deal breaker for people. BUT he has a kid with you and he's married, he's spent 8 years with you and needs to man up.
You seem like a reasonable woman trying to save you relationship and that's a very decent thing.
But he expected you to be a virgin, from some pretenious moral stand point, yet now he's taking an unknown woman and sleeping with her in your own house you share with your kids...what kind of behaviour is that? (I mean seriously even if you cheated on me with 10 different guys I would never do something like that) so thats pretty much summing up his 'moral values'.

If you want to save the relationship you can try, but by the looks of it, it's over for him because he's disregarding your feelings and his family and is acting out like a spoilt kid.

I wish the best of luck to you again.

What has timeline go to do with it? If shes had sex with other people, He can have sex with other people, end of story.

[michelle23]

1. Do you think violence will solve your problems?

2. He probably owns the property, so she has no right to say whose allowed and whose not. she may have residency there, so she only has the right to live there until evicted.

3. That other girl did nothing to her, why should she assault her?

4. The husband did nothing to her either, she has no right assault him either.

The only time you have permission to make contact with another person is if they assault you first, and you are defending yourself.

5. Protip, He is the better guy. Its highly unlikely if she ever finds someone they would be as good as him.

1. No, it wont solve anything BUT its better than allowing him to bring another woman into HER home. How dare he!
2. If they are married-they both own the property or share equal rights to it. Either ask him to leave or she should leave. Either way-she needs to get him out of her life
3. That other girl slept with her husband. How is that doing "nothing" to her?
4. He cheated on her, hes punishing her in the most cruel way, purposefully trying to hurt her and he wants her to suffer.
5. he is not the better guy. She lied 8 years ago because she was terrified how hed react if he found out something that happened before she met him. A lot of people would say its none of his business who she slept with before she met him. I think its better to be honest obviously but that is in her past and should have no impact on her relationship with him. What he did was malicious, cruel and nasty and its obvious that he doesn't really love her. She never wanted to hurt him. He is trying to hurt her so he is wrong.

You think its one rule for men and another for women. You dont see women as equal so youll never understand where I am coming from but for those of us who live on planet earth in the real world, and who do not have the 1800 mentality-we see things more clearly obviously and expect to be treated with respect and dignity. Marriage is about equal partnership-your supposed to be a time, respect each other, love each other and treat each other as equals-a team. He is not doing any of that

[stev123]

What has timeline go to do with it? If shes had sex with other people, He can have sex with other people, end of story.

Bro, please go troll somewhere else you are dumb as **** kid.

[michelle23]

What has timeline go to do with it? If shes had sex with other people, He can have sex with other people, end of story.

What planet do you live on? She slept with an ex before she met him. Hes married to her. Two very different circumstances. I hope you never get married. You sound like a narcissist.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

1. No, it wont solve anything BUT its better than allowing him to bring another woman into HER home. How dare he!
2. If they are married-they both own the property or share equal rights to it. Either ask him to leave or she should leave. Either way-she needs to get him out of her life
3. That other girl slept with her husband. How is that doing "nothing" to her?
4. He cheated on her, hes punishing her in the most cruel way, purposefully trying to hurt her and he wants her to suffer.
5. he is not the better guy. She lied 8 years ago because she was terrified how hed react if he found out something that happened before she met him. A lot of people would say its none of his business who she slept with before she met him. I think its better to be honest obviously but that is in her past and should have no impact on her relationship with him. What he did was malicious, cruel and nasty and its obvious that he doesn't really love her. She never wanted to hurt him. He is trying to hurt her so he is wrong.

You think its one rule for men and another for women. You dont see women as equal so youll never understand where I am coming from but for those of us who live on planet earth in the real world, and who do not have the 1800 mentality-we see things more clearly obviously and expect to be treated with respect and dignity. Marriage is about equal partnership-your supposed to be a time, respect each other, love each other and treat each other as equals-a team. He is not doing any of that

2. She can leave if she likes, but she has no right to ask someone else who was allowed into the property by a stakeholder to leave.
3. Its none of the other girl's business as to who he is to her. If she wants to sleep with him, she can.
4. Its none of her business what he goes about doing. He didn't touch her, so how could he hurt her? Her hurting herself is not him hurting her.

And i'm not trolling when I say, timeline has go nothing to do with it if she wants him to be exclusively for her, then she should've have slept with other people. She cant sleep around, then change the rules with someone else.

[stev123]

The difference is they have 8 years together, they have kids and family, his actions won't affect just their relationship but the kids and the family involved.
You can't rationalize cheating just because your wife told you she wasn't a virgin, and if you actually think you can you are about as dumb as you sound.

If you told your woman that you slept with 40 other girls before her instead of 3 and she went out and started ****ing guys in your house, how would you rationalize that?

Done speaking with you, don't post in here your advice isn't useful to her situation.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

BTW OP: What were you doing while he was pounding that young pretty girl? I bet it turned you on.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

The difference is they have 8 years together, they have kids and family, his actions won't affect just their relationship but the kids and the family involved.
You can't rationalize cheating just because your wife told you she wasn't a virgin, and if you actually think you can you are about as dumb as you sound.

If you told your woman that you slept with 40 other girls before her instead of 3 and she went out and started ****ing guys in your house, how would you rationalize that?

Done speaking with you, don't post in here your advice isn't useful to her situation.

How would a rationalize it? well, she is a person and she can do as she see fits. as long as its go nothing do with me (i.e not physically touch me). I am a person to a contract, and I have a right to end it as much as she has. Whats the problem?

What has his kids and family go to do with him? The kid has a right to food, shelter and education, if he doesn't meet this right, its the governments responsibility not his. And family? what family are you talking about? the kid?

[stev123]

Like I said, go troll somewhere else you sad cunt. Getting invovled in peoples issues and taking the piss is low as you can get, don't you fat lards go on 4 chan or whatever? I bet you're a realm charmer.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

Like I said, go troll somewhere else you sad cunt. Getting invovled in peoples issues and taking the piss is low as you can get, don't you fat lards go on 4 chan or whatever? I bet you're a realm charmer.

I'm not trolling. This is my honest opinons. If you disagree with it, thats fine.

[helpmeplease123]

BTW OP: What were you doing while he was pounding that young pretty girl? I bet it turned you on.

I really didn't care about it.

I fed our daughter, gave her a bath and then put her to bed. Then I went to sleep. That was about it.

Thanks for all your advice, but I really need advice on what I could do to save the marriage. I can give him as much space as he wants, if only he just holds off on the divorce until he settles down.

I do deeply regret what I did, but its in the past and I cant change it now.

My husband and my daughter are the most important things in my life right now.

And if it helps, he is the only child in his family. His parents have said that he was very spoliet as a child and did have very bad tantrums. But after some time he settles down and everything goes back to normal.

[TablesandChairs]

You're both a bit twisted, really. I mean, most women would have told him to get lost the moment he brought another woman into your home, which is as undignified as it gets. Yet you're all like "Oh I will let him have as many women, even in our own bed, so long as he doesn't leave me!'. Seriously, that's some scary thinking.

Was there a shortage of men in Australia when you met your husband? Clearly, our country went through some sort of androgen deficiency at the time...can't imagine what about him was so appealing to you. Was it his virgin fetish or the fact that he treats you like what I imagine Muslim extremists treat their wives.

Your only way to save this marriage is to regrow your hymen. Consult a surgeon, it's possible.

[Starnique]

BTW OP: What were you doing while he was pounding that young pretty girl? I bet it turned you on.

**** you.

Anyway OP, its clear that you love him but he is really showing his true colors. Bringing another woman in your home? Just because you lied 8 years ago, which was wrong he thinks he can treat you any kind of way and his ego is damaged so he is trying his best to break you and hurt you. You apologized and have been a good wife and mother. Don't be his doormat. Despite what happened, don't ever think you deserve to be treated like a doormat. You have a little girl. You need to be the example and respect yourself and walk away from a idiotic man that treats you that way. That's ground to **** him up. I would take him str8 to the bank in the divorce.

If you work it out..fine (even though he couldn't say s*** to me after the way he acted but its not about me sooo...). If not, take everything he has.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

You're both a bit twisted, really. I mean, most women would have told him to get lost the moment he brought another woman into your home, which is as undignified as it gets. Yet you're all like "Oh I will let him have as many women, even in our own bed, so long as he doesn't leave me!'. Seriously, that's some scary thinking.

Was there a shortage of men in Australia when you met your husband? Clearly, our country went through some sort of androgen deficiency at the time...can't imagine what about him was so appealing to you. Was it his virgin fetish or the fact that he treats you like what I imagine Muslim extremists treat their wives.

Your only way to save this marriage is to regrow your hymen. Consult a surgeon, it's possible.

Since when did it suddenly become her home?

Shes free to bring guys into their home and bang them. Just as much as he is. They both have ownership of it.