Should I give her another chance??

[Chris2009]

I don't know, Ben. If she really loves you would it be SO important for her making him regret? So, she needs the satisfaction that he knows what he lost to "finalize him", to have closure? Sounds weird, even for a 21 years old. Sounds actually like an excuse. Either she has some major ego-issues, or she is simply not done with him yet. To be honest, if I would be you I would simply give her an ultimatum... either him or me! I would not talk to her anymore, not hang out with her, consequently NOTHING of it. Before I would tell her exactly why you're doing it.. but then , as i said, zero contact. I also would give myself a time limit, for how long I can stand this status quo. And if she is not shocked and still worries more about his regret and her satisfaction than about hurting and losing you....... then she's not worth all the excitement. Then it comes down to it that, like her ex, she doesn't know what she is going to lose - you. But before she even can know what she really wants she must 'get the chance' to miss you. Do you understand what I mean?

[Benjwah]

Yeah I do get you and thats exactly what Im doing now. We had about a week or so where we continued to talk and hang out occassionally, but I told her we need a break and I gave her an ultimatum. I haven't figured out what the time period will be yet, but I told her to give me a call when she figured her shit out so we'll see.

And I do think she has some ego issues but for some reason I really like the girl and dont want to let her go yet. Maybe thats a dumb decision but worst case it drags out some more and then its over. I know no matter what happens I'll get through it, so we'll see. Thanks for the advice and I'll let all know what happens.

[Benjwah]

Update: its over. She cant stop buying his bullshit. If anyone ever has this problem and comes across this thread, just do what you know you had to all along. It'll be better in the long run, although admittingly, very painful in the short term.

Good luck to all.

[Gigabitch]

I still think she'll come back.

[carl1222]

I still think she'll come back.

But why would hew want her?

[Chris2009]

I'm not sure if it's good think to play with the thought "she'll come back". Somehow it feels like she didn't give up yet on this guy, and after my experiences it'll take her still a while. Some more hurt, some more rejections.......and if she doesn't figure out the roots of her problems it'll become the pattern of ALL her relationships. Thats how it is.
But still, Its not easy to give advices, especially from the far, without 'knowing' the people involved.
For sure I believe a relationship should (at least at the very beginning) be clear and clean like a new born baby - no waste and debt. In this state lovers don't discuss or argue, they just love, explore and enjoy each other. If both are truly interested in a relationship, if its mutual and balanced they will start to create something strong together, worth to continue, and worth to remember. The stronger it becomes the more they are able to walk on rocky roads together that will come for sure - in each relationship. But if there's already 'baggage' before it even started... I don't know.
Good luck to you, Benj