The big news is.....

[doppelgaenger]

Guys, everybody, STFU.

Congratulations Ladie, don't listen to the bullshit in this thread. I hope that you are content with life! That's all that matters!

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Eh, it already happaned, and I dont think it makes me stupid.

It was not unplanned. And I didnt get pregnant again without a goal. We ARE moving on our own and getting a car. He got a way higher position at his job. We are not putting any burden on any of our parents. We already let them know that their finances is not our problem and no longer necessary. If they decide to give, then they can go ahead. But it is no more "Mommy this" and "Mommy that". Plain and simple.

You may keep your congratulations, but god damn lecturing me wont make this child disappear.

I do not regret my decision, and I know I dont want another child after this one for a verrrryyyyy long time. My boyfriend is very much into this and wants everything to do with it. I mean, he already takes care of my daughter. He already treats her like his own. I can only imagine what he will do with this one, and it will become a reality in a little less than a year.

I'm not begging for support, I just dont feel like being judged for something I wanted to do just because some of you would not do it had it been you in my shoes. This is why I didnt wanna put it on here in the first place.

But thanks to everyone who looked past the judgement.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Oh and in response to having a dead end job:

Honestly, I'm glad I even have one. It's better than none. I'm supporting my daughter and the one on the way.

Also, in the same thread about changing her diapers, I mentioned maturing more and realizing that I needed to grow up. I grew out of that like so long ago. I'm potty training her all now.

[Mish]

Congrats Nisha,

Though, I agree with some of the others that 18 is probably not the best age or point in time to have a second child to look after. Think about the child and how difficult it will be to get that child's needs met considering your situation. Will you be able to provide a future that this kid deserves? If I were you I would give some serious consideration to the option of adoption after the child is born.

[Junket]

But thanks to everyone who looked past the judgement.

I won't support you the same way some of the other members will, but that doesn't mean I don't have your back.

I don't coo over babies like some people, I'm more concerned about whether or not they're being taken care of properly. I've watched my oldest sister neglect at least 2 of the 3 children she's born. When the 3rd came around from an 18 year old boy (she was 27) this is all I had to say:

Compared to before, I'd say you have made some improvements. I think now would be a good idea to really assess your financial situation and see what you and your boyfriend can't do to improve it before the child arrives. I'm not asking you to share if you already have them, just throwing it out there to be considered.

[Aeradalia]

Can't really argue too much with Nisha... how many of us were born to teenagers who didn't 'have it together' worked hard for years and years... and grew up hearing how 'great' they were for the 'sacrifices' they made for us?

It's no wonder the same scenario keeps repeating itself.

Nisha... yes, you'll be able to provide for your children... yes, you'll put clothes on their back and food in their bellies.... and yes, you'll get a lifetime of praise for what a 'good mother' you've been.

However, you won't be able to provide for them the life you feel they deserve.... they will have to find their own way to success --- you won't be able to show them how UNLESS you can swing college for yourself and lead by example. They may become a better person for the lower living standards or they may become bitter... it's difficult to tell.

Basically... yes, you'll be able to raise your kids.... but... had you waited and bettered yourself first, you could've given so much more to your children --- improved their chances of being a success.

Children are an investment.... and you chose to invest in them with fewer resources. But in the end... it is 'your' investment... but 'their' lives... only time will tell if you chose poorly or if you've lucked out.

I'd suggest finding a way to college for both you and the father to improve your living conditions. With two children... it's going to be hard as hell --- harder than it had to be, but this is the path you chose...

Don't be surprised if you find yourself trying to convince your daughter to wait before having children and she uses your tactics...

[Cain]

Guys, what's done is done. No need to lecture her.

My sister got pregnant at 18, and I tried to lecture her and she just got pissed and shut me out. Then she got pregnant again, and same thing. She said to me "This is my decision, and even if you don't agree with it, the least you could do is be supportive."

So.....yeah.

What about when a woman is with an abusive bf/husband? It's her decision to be with him, so should we not lecture her on it?

Look... I have every right to voice my opinion about anything I desire. I'm not going to offer my congratulations because I don't think it's a "miracle."

I guess it's cool if she doesn't want to go to college, wants to work a minimum wage job, and wants to keep living with mom.

[Cain]

I just don't understand planning to have second child at 18.

What kind of work does he do? What kind of pay increase did he get? Have you sat down and tallied out your bills, rent, living and food expenses, insurance, gas, car maintenance, and other things for the baby and your current child? Are you and him able to bring in $1,500-2,000 per month at a minimum? Are you willing to set college to the side?

Are you going to get your tubes tied? Is he going to get a vasectomy? Are you going to start wearing condoms now? What happens when you have a third in two more years? This is where I am trying to talk to you. I have no issues with you, but I do not condone bringing a child into this world when you can't provide it with the life it deserves.

I'm not comparing you with the following group... I really, really hate when people that can barely afford to live on their own bring multiple children into this world. Also, what happens when you two break up? I assume that you want custody? Are you going to be ready to move back in with mommy?

[tooxshort]

Congratulations! As long as you're happy!

[Cain]

Just don't rely on government assistance.

If you're ready for this kid then you shouldn't need to rely on the government.

[IndiReloaded]

Biology wins. Raise decent children, Nisha. Ask for help if you need it, for their sakes. Continue to improve yourself, for their example as well as for yourself.

Best wishes.

[Illusional]

being pregnant is always a good thing. i'm just glad that i will never have to go though it.

raverboy

[Bo]

If you really feel like your ready than, than congrats

You're lucky to have a guy who wants the child. I found out recently that an old friend of mine is also pregnant just a few days after her ex dumped her and now wants nothing to do it. She's still keeping the baby though.

[bluesummer]

What about when a woman is with an abusive bf/husband? It's her decision to be with him, so should we not lecture her on it?
.

Yeah, but she can leave the abuser. If you're pregnant, you can get rid of the child, if you're the type of person that's okay with that. Most people aren't.

She can't change the situation now. You don't have to agree with it, but nor do you need to belittle her. God forbid someone make bad choices in their lives, yeesh.

[Aeradalia]

Eh... people make bad choices... they will be lectured for it... it kind of goes with the territory. It's up to the person who made the choice to listen to the lectures or ignore them. Censoring those who say things they don't like kind of makes the 'bad choice' seem ok... which would only encourage others to do the same.

It's a learning thing... if you have children when you aren't financially capable of providing such children with all they deserve and need... then expect others to disagree with you.

This applies to any other bad choice... like drug use. "If you're happy, then go with it" probably wouldn't work with drug use --- because it destroys the person's life... so others will try to point out their mistake. "If you're happy, then go with it" really can't work with bringing a child into this world when the only life you can provide is minimum wage and a 'I just know you'll do what momma cannot, and that's be something better'... because this is another human being. The child is never really 'yours'... because they're not property... they're not a pet... and you don't own them. So, you have to ask yourself... just because you wanted a child right now, is that reason enough to have one when circumstances are most unfavorable? Is it selfish to bring a child into such unfavorable circumstances... because YOU wanted them there?

Face it... this is a selfish decision being made... plain and simple. I wish the best for Nisha and her children... but I cannot be encouraged by peer pressure to tell her 'it's ok... so long as YOU'RE happy' because this whole scenario isn't about HER. She's an adult and can make decisions that can affect her... but when an adult wishes to bring a child into their life... they owe it to the child to provide circumstances that are favorable for raising a child to meet their full potential. Sadly, meeting such potential often requires financial resources --- resources that Nisha doesn't have at the moment.

Think about it... Nisha couldn't possibly ADOPT a child... not in her current financial state... yet she (or anyone else) can have as many biological children she wants... even to the point of complete impoverishment. But so long as 'she's happy'... it's ok... right?

The facts still remain... no matter what... and sometimes... the truth hurts.