Calling all Ladies! - Need your input!

[okapa]

Squirrley... you are right! Confidence is one of my biggest problems... Well heres what happens... I finally get the nerve up to ask a girl out or a girl my might ask me if i wanna grab a coffee or something later... Ok well we set it up... So I get all excited like jojo the circus monkey... I dress extra nice (not a suit and tie or nothing just nice)... I jump in my H2 head down to the local starbucks were we're meeting during the ride im amped and pumped I say to myself "this is gonna be great... we are gonna have such a great time!!" then i get there... I bomb out big time! I get so nervous i can't even carry on a conversation. I cant think of anything to say!! during all this she is looking at me like im mental or something! After awhile of saying nothing really and drinking our lattes' we part ways.... I drive home.. Pissed off at myself the whole way!... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!!

When i meet a girl I wanna go too fast cause all i think of when i meet a girl "Is she gonna be the one, the one I marry" I know there are steps in between but I just wanna skip them for some reason... I cant explain it! I guess cause having a family of my own is such a big deal to me and has been for a long time now...

I have had this problem before... When you are alone you think you can just do it, it's easy, then you get there and you don't know what to say... Maybe you can try to go somewhere away from where you live, somewhere where no one knows you.

That way if you screw up there's no record of it, no chance you'll se them again, so just try until you find someone you like : )

[brianbtn]

yeah I do need to relax... I guess cause i dont date often is why i act so nervous and shy... I just dont know when the next date will be I guess... Its like why a kid asks santa for so much shit on christmas is cause that kid knows santa only comes around once a year! I would like to go out on a date every weekend but I dont have the confidence to just go somewhere like the club or whatever by myself and pick up women... I always have to have friends with me when i go...

[Tiay]

hm, the big build-up probably isn't helping either. You hype the event up in your mind, and then when you get there it is bound to fall short.

The other thing is that as important as first impressions are, being stressed out about making a good impression doesn't make a good impression. It's a vicious circle that's really hard to get out of. I guess just striking up random, spontaneous conversations with strangers or semi-strangers would help. You know what semi-strangers are.. co-workers and colleagues and friends friends who you end up meeting, but just kinda co-existing with and never really talking?

[okapa]

yeah I do need to relax... I guess cause i dont date often is why i act so nervous and shy... I just dont know when the next date will be I guess... Its like why a kid asks santa for so much shit on christmas is cause that kid knows santa only comes around once a year! I would like to go out on a date every weekend but I dont have the confidence to just go somewhere like the club or whatever by myself and pick up women... I always have to have friends with me when i go...

Maybe you shouldn't wait for the weekends... Do you like a particular kind of music? Do you enjoy cooking? Do you like one type of pet? Search your hobbies and go to some place where girls with the same interests are...

For instance, if you like a particular kind of music go to the mall, find a music store and talk to some girl who is checking some music you know about. It will be easier because you know what to talk about. Even if it doesn't develop, it will increase your confidence. Just don't forget to tell them your name, no need for phone numbers.

[Mish]

I think as a guy you can't take any chances with women out there. So you need to look good, be confident, make everyone around you laugh, be brainy, make a lot of money AND have a big huge penis.

Insurance policy for pulling a whole variety of different chicks

[brianbtn]

someone once told me to be "cocky and funny" when talking to girls... that they like that? is this true? they said be cocky but not too much that your insulting.. just to make them laugh... sounds good in theory but i dont know??? What do you girls and gals think?

[vashti]

someone once told me to be "cocky and funny" when talking to girls... that they like that? is this true? they said be cocky but not too much that your insulting.. just to make them laugh... sounds good in theory but i dont know??? What do you girls and gals think?

Oh my god! You guys really all DO read the same internet sites, don't you? Frasbee must tell us how it is that every guy on the planet over the age of 15 hears about this cocky/funny thing.

[brianbtn]

HUH? Am i missing something here... I heard this from a friend of mind? not the internet? but evendently everyone knows about it??

[EmoBlackBelt]

"Cocky funny" is shit. Just be interesting and people will like you. You don't want to make yourself seem like an asshole unnecessarily.

[vashti]

HUH? Am i missing something here... I heard this from a friend of mind? not the internet? but evendently everyone knows about it??

About once a month (?) a newbie comes on here and posts some reference to the "cocky/funny" theory. It is pretty widespread.

[alidile]

caring too much... it's called clingyness and needyness. oh please leave me alone!

[brianbtn]

caring too much... it's called clingyness and needyness. oh please leave me alone!

Why is having someone care alot about you bad?? It just means they cares and loves you alot... Doesnt sound bad in my book... If they didnt care alot I would worry...

[EmoBlackBelt]

Why is having someone care alot about you bad?? It just means they cares and loves you alot... Doesnt sound bad in my book... If they didnt care alot I would worry...

Girls want you to care about them, but not that much. If you act like you actually like them, they say you're too clingy. (I don't get it either.) Just be friendly, but act like it wouldn't be a big deal if they suddenly disappeared. And then every now and then you can say something sweet. Anything more is considered creepy, at least at first. I don't know why that's the way things are, but it's best to just accept it.

It took me a very long time to learn this. Here's a tip: never give a girl a gift that takes any effort or creativity, until you've been dating for at least a couple months. I wrote a girl I liked a poem once. I thought it would be sweet, but apparently it was the creepiest thing I could have done.

Women are just people. I know you think it's flattering to be put on a pedestal, but try to put yourself in their shoes. It would feel a little weird, would it not? Treat the opposite sex as equals. Remember, you deserve her as much as she deserves you.

[Gigabitch]

Biggest turnoff: bad behavior.

I don't care how good-looking he is, how charming, confident, etc. If I see him kicking a dog, he's dirt to me.

[IndiReloaded]

Intelligent, fun & kind. Mentally balanced w/a good perspective on their world & their place in it.

By default, anyone w/these traits will be interesting & attractive.