He doesn't wash his hands after taking a $h!t..!

[paze]

Ok, so don't read this if you have a mouth full of food. Or if you just ate.

My BF and I moved in together about 2 months ago, after dating for a year. I did not realize until living with him that he has this horrible habit of not washing his hands after taking a crap. His excuse is that he doesn't wipe his ass with his bare hands, so why should he need to wash them? He also doesn't wash at public restrooms, regardless of going number 1 or 2. He figures what's the point if he washes his hands, then touches the faucet to turn it off, then the door handle to pull it open, when all the other people that don't wash their hands (or don't wash them well) touch those same things. I said well most places have touch-free sensors for everything, and don't require you to pull open a door on your way out - it's either push out or a curvy hallway where you don't have to touch anything. His excuse then is, if you don't touch anything, why do you need to wash? Dick skin is clean, and still, he doesn't wipe his ass with his bare hands after crapping. He also doesn't wash after 'lightly handling' raw hamburger meat while grilling, and there are other examples I can't think of at the moment.

Now I don't wonder why I itch for days down there after some foreplay with his fingers... I mentioned that to him, and he just rolls his eyes like I'm being ridiculous.

I wonder if guys and gals have different takes on this? Do a lot of guys (and gals, for that matter) just not wash their hands after peeing or dropping ass?

Washing your hands after #1 or #2 is a habit, nothing else. You don't really make a conscious decision to wash your hands after going, it just happens. So what you need to do is to REQUIRE him to wash his hands and then remind him every time. "Did you wash your hands?". Eventually it becomes a habit and the problem is fixed.

If he's not flexible enough to bend to this little request of yours, then you should point out how unfair that is to the relationship.

[HeartIsAching]

Men don't really have a clue about health and safety unless they have worked in a deli or kitchen or have studied HACCP etc Id say a lot of men don't wash their hands after using the bathroom.

Sexist pig.

[lalalita]

I dated a guy with poor hygiene once. It got progressively worse throughout the years. He's not going to change.

I, too, would get itchy down there after he would finger me or even after we would have sex because he didn't shower regularly. Figures, he was great in bed. It started skeeving me out more and more to the point where I didn't want to be intimate with him unless I forced him to take a shower. (Yes, forced)

[searock]

Sexist pig.

Hah, this is kind of like calling a black person a "racist asshole" if they said something like "white people are dumb".

Anyway, I think most people (not just men) don't know much about hygiene, in detail. I also think that the vast majority of women (at least where I'm from) wash their hands after using the toilet, and that a lot of men don't.

[Starnique]

And some are dumb.................now how was that relevant?

[searock]

how was that relevant?

It wasn't, I was just replying to HIA's statement. My point is that calling a woman a "sexist pig" is kind of like calling a black person a "racist asshole". Sure it may be accurate in some cases, but it doesn't come close to the meaning those words have when aimed at men or white persons, because of the society we (westerners) live in (in which men and white persons are generally privileged).

I'm pretty sure HIA was just light-heartedly pointing out that both males and females sometimes erroneously resort to generalizations, with statements such as "men are..." or "women are...".

[HeartIsAching]

It wasn't, I was just replying to HIA's statement. My point is that calling a woman a "sexist pig" is kind of like calling a black person a "racist asshole". Sure it may be accurate in some cases, but it doesn't come close to the meaning those words have when aimed at men or white persons, because of the society we (westerners) live in (in which men and white persons are generally privileged).

I'm pretty sure HIA was just light-heartedly pointing out that both males and females sometimes erroneously resort to generalizations, with statements such as "men are..." or "women are...".

Why? You think because you're female, that your sexist comments and notions magically don't count?

[searock]

Why? You think because you're female, that your sexist comments and notions magically don't count?

If a woman says something that is an inaccurate generalization regarding "men" (personally, I tend to disregard any statement that begins with "men/women are..." because obviously every single person is different), it is of course an inaccurate generalization that deserves to be corrected. However, it does not lay its foundations on centuries of misogynistic patriarchal culture - it is simply a misconception that in no real way harms men as a whole. Which is why calling a man a "sexist pig" is very much different from calling a woman the same thing (and it's the same kind of difference between calling a white person a "racist asshole" and calling a black person the same thing).

It's one thing if the people with power (or the people who were in power until a very recent time) insult the people they have power on with generalizations and degrading comments, it's another thing if the people without power do the same thing to the people with power. They are both wrong, but it's just... different.

[HeartIsAching]

If a woman says something that is an inaccurate generalization regarding "men" (personally, I tend to disregard any statement that begins with "men/women are..." because obviously every single person is different), it is of course an inaccurate generalization that deserves to be corrected. However, it does not lay its foundations on centuries of misogynistic patriarchal culture - it is simply a misconception that in no real way harms men as a whole. Which is why calling a man a "sexist pig" is very much different from calling a woman the same thing (and it's the same kind of difference between calling a white person a "racist asshole" and calling a black person the same thing).

It's one thing if the people with power (or the people who were in power until a very recent time) insult the people they have power on with generalizations and degrading comments, it's another thing if the people without power do the same thing to the people with power. They are both wrong, but it's just... different.

No, that's just an example of your personal double standard. Thank you. Now I know.

[searock]

It would be really nice if we could all ignore the fact that women are, even today, not as powerful as men are in society. Unfortunately yes, there is a double standard and ignoring it would do no good - it would actually make things worse. We need to recognize the problem in order to be able to solve it.

[HeartIsAching]

Recognizing it, and perpetuating it are two different things. Continuing to perpetuate it DOESN'T make it better.

You want equality? Guess what, sister - I want it too, for both you and me.

[pcmaster]

Just shut up and wash your hands guys.

[HeartIsAching]

I probably wash my hands more times per day than searock and Michelle combined.

[michelle23]

Sexist pig.

How the f**k am I being sexist? I wasn't saying it as a bloody insult. Jeez you are so freaking uptight! No wonder YC used to always call you a grumpy old man. From living and working with men, I can see for myself that most do not wash their hands half as much as I do in general. Yes there is always exceptions but many dont have a clue about health and safety. How would they if they were never thought anything about it? I learned it in school in homeec. there were only 2 boys in the class and I learned it at work too when I worked with food. That is the only reason I know so much about it.

You wash your hands a lot-good for you. So did my old boss Pat like 50 times a day. But my bf, my dad, 5 previous colleagues, my uncles, granddad etc etc don't wash their hands before eating in general and one of the guys on here back on page 1 or 2 said A LOT of guys don't wash their hands after taking a piss. Why is he allowed to say it but I am not? And how the f does that make me sexist?

[Wakeup]

From living and working with men who don't wash thier hands? That doesn't equate to MOST men. That's all he's saying. Its another one of your blanket statements that riles the masses is all.

The sad thing is that its one's mother that usually teaches their son's bathroom habits and if she's not teaching him to wash his hands after a BM.. well, then I guess its up to the women in his life to train him in that simple courtesy to himself and anyone he happens to touch.