A Prevalent Myth

[Henry123]

I think when a woman asks a man out, there is a large risk that he will be emasculated in her eyes.

Not if he sees himself as a Rockstar! And women as his groupees.

[RogerWilco]

I think when a woman asks a man out, there is a large risk that he will be emasculated in her eyes. You males ought to be careful what you ask for; you might get it.

And shut up, skaterboy. I know you do the asking.

All depends on the way it's done. If it's "yo, RogerWilco, you, me, the movies, saturday night, BE THERE", that might be a bit overbearing.

But if a girl is talking to you and says something like "So there's this movie I've wanted to see for a while, and it's playing this saturday night. Wanna go see it with me?", that's pretty damn harmless, PLUS it lends itself to her paying her half of the bill, which is always nice.

Gotta love it. A guy asks a girl out, 99% of the time he's paying for both. A girl asks a guy out, there's a 49% chance he'll pay for both, 49% they'll split it, and 0.000000001% chance she'll pay for both (and probably not unless they've been dating for a while and are comfortable with each other). The other 1.999999999% is simply lost to voter error.

[vashti]

Not if he sees himself as a Rockstar! And women as his groupees.

Groupies are for one night stands, not relationships.

[vashti]

All depends on the way it's done. If it's "yo, RogerWilco, you, me, the movies, saturday night, BE THERE", that might be a bit overbearing.

But if a girl is talking to you and says something like "So there's this movie I've wanted to see for a while, and it's playing this saturday night. Wanna go see it with me?", that's pretty damn harmless, PLUS it lends itself to her paying her half of the bill, which is always nice.

Gotta love it. A guy asks a girl out, 99% of the time he's paying for both. A girl asks a guy out, there's a 49% chance he'll pay for both, 49% they'll split it, and 0.000000001% chance she'll pay for both (and probably not unless they've been dating for a while and are comfortable with each other). The other 1.999999999% is simply lost to voter error.

I think whoever asks should pay, and I don't see anything wrong with the girl doing the asking after they are already dating. I just wouldn't suggest it for the first date.

[Tiay]

I'd like to think that I'm a relatively modern person and don't really care for weird customs and old fashioned gender roles.

but I gotta say, these years with my bf would not have happened if he hadn't told me he liked me and put his arm around me on that fateful night. I flirted, and purposefully sat just a bit 'too close' to him, but I wouldn't cross the actual line of making a move.
That is the guy's role in the game. My role was to make it clear that I was interested and that it is safe for him to make a move.
If the girl is fulfilling her role, then the guy won't be risking looking foolish or being rejected if he reads her correctly.

I should add that I think there is nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out. The above is simply how the game is usually played- the unspoken rules that give the game a structure in which to function. the type of guy girls are looking for simply is also the type of guy who is not afraid to pursue her- the guys who can't pluck up the courage and would require her to pursue him are therefore also less desirable in general.

You guys make it sound like your part is harder. Well then let's reverse the rules for a minute. Say you, the guy, can only flirt. No leaning in to kiss her, no touching her, no asking her out, no telling her you like her- you can only flirt and hint and hope that she'll pursue you.
If so, I bet you'd be in here moaning that this gives females too much control and that it's frustrating, etc.

[King Zarathu]

If it's "yo, RogerWilco, you, me, the movies, saturday night, BE THERE", that might be a bit overbearing.

That's the way I do it, with some style, of course, and it works like a charm.

[Tiay]

see? guys like asking us out. we like flirting. it fits. stop complaining so.

[RogerWilco]

You guys make it sound like your part is harder. Well then let's reverse the rules for a minute. Say you, the guy, can only flirt. No leaning in to kiss her, no touching her, no asking her out, no telling her you like her- you can only flirt and hint and hope that she'll pursue you.
If so, I bet you'd be in here moaning that this gives females too much control and that it's frustrating, etc.

That's just it. You unfortunately perceive it as impossible for a girl to ask a guy out. You even say you're not usually one for traditions, yet you (collectively, not just you) do everything in your power NOT to ask a guy out, when it's the one thing you want.


Your part is only hard because you (and all girls) intentionally make it hard. Our part IS "harder" because girls make it harder. See a trend here?








Edit: Girls make guys hard. Just wanted to say that before some other smartass chimes in to answer my rhetorical question

[RogerWilco]

Your logic is flawed. Both men & women flirt. Let's call that X% of the work that needs doing. So both men & women give X%. What is the extra Y% that gets the job done? Asking the other person out for the date is the other Y%. It is this Y% that crosses the line, 2X + Y = 100% and makes things happen. It is considered the guy's job to pick up, in addition to the X% effort, this Y% to secure a date.

I suggest using algebraic formulas to impress women.

[Tiay]

both men and women flirt, yes. The girl, however, leaves the choice up to him. If he doesn't respond to her flirting by making a movie, it translates into him simply not liking her. that is the structure within it works. if he doesn't ask her, she'll assume he's not interested and moves on. If it was a free-for-all with both gender's doing the pursuing, it would be a confusing mess.

If I was single and I liked a guy, i'd flirt my ass off, and if that didn't work, I'd assume he wasn't interested. I wouldn't ask him because he didn't respond to the flirting, it must mean he's not interested anyway. The girl gives the guy virtually all the control over the situation.. and all you can do is moan that it involves work?

[King Zarathu]

Your logic is flawed. Both men & women flirt. Let's call that X% of the work that needs doing, and X < 50%. So both men & women give X%. What is the extra Y% that gets the job done, that makes a date? Asking the other person out for the date is the other Y%. It is this Y% that crosses the line, 2X + Y = 100% and makes things happen. It is considered the guy's job to pick up, in addition to the X% effort, this Y% to secure a date.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

You're trying to be LOGICAL with a WOMAN?! You're not going to get anywhere!

[vashti]

Your logic is flawed. Both men & women flirt. Let's call that X% of the work that needs doing, and X < 50%. So both men & women give X%. What is the extra Y% that gets the job done, that makes a date? Asking the other person out for the date is the other Y%. It is this Y% that crosses the line, 2X + Y = 100% and makes things happen. It is considered the guy's job to pick up, in addition to the X% effort, this Y% to secure a date.

Oh, boo hoo. When you guys can take on 50% of childbirth, I will listen to your whining.

[Tiay]

yes, control comes with risk. But those two can't be separated. and most guys would prefer to accept risk in order to have control. I don't think they'd be happy the other way around.

vash; Hahaha, yeah.. I'd settle for guys using that new-fangled electro-shock contraception method...

[King Zarathu]

Oh, boo hoo. When you guys can take on 50% of childbirth, I will listen to your whining.

Childbirth isn't that bad. It's 9 months of your life that, mind you, are less severe because of all the drugs. Then, the husband gets out of the house and works while you sit at home with the babies, cleaning the house, so that you can bitch because you don't have a social life and the fact that you're short on tampons.

HOLY SHIT! PREGNANT WOMEN!


u r so0o0o0o0o0o secksi!!!!1111 i wud ttly skeet 2 ur pix lol

[vashti]

vash; Hahaha, yeah.. I'd settle for guys using that new-fangled electro-shock contraception method...

Electro shock?

Please explain, and in greater detail if it causes pain to males.