Do blow jobs really include any blowing?

[BlackRose]

Eh... I don't know. There are no certain answers to anything here. She's 17. That's not so bad to be asking. At least she isnt' 10.

[shh!]

Agreed: NOT bad for her to ask, normal in fact. Point of contention is whether or not one has a responsibility to provide COMPLETE and responsible answers, or if we are merely training teenagers to behave like tramps, and teaching them to believe that it is normal.

I don't believe we are so far apart in our thought as you might have originally thought.

[misombra]

Eh... I don't know. There are no certain answers to anything here. She's 17. That's not so bad to be asking. At least she isnt' 10.

i don't think it's bad for her to ask. i just think we should give girls the tools they need to be self respecting individuals as much as we can. i also grew up in a home where talking about sex was very taboo. i had to learn things on my own there was no forum where i could ask people, there was absolutely no talking to my mom or dad about it, my sister is 8 years older than me but i couldn't ask her, she was naive and never taught things about sex either. and i swore after that that if i had the opportunity i would make sure that any young girl that approached me for advice on sex would get the whole story not just any ol' advice you can get off the street or in cosmopolitan magazine, you know? like shh said sex isn't all about pleasing the man, and i think that's what girls are taught nowadays and pressured to do. do you think it's that way? i know when i was 17 that's how it was. there are a lot of guys out there who just want sex from girls and that's it. every girl has been through it just ask. being used for sex isn't pretty but it happens and even the nicest of guys do it. so why send girls off into the world thinking that boys won't like them unless they give them sex and do it well? it a sad case that this is the ideology of a lot of girls.

now i don't condemn giving someone advice about sexual techniques but a little bit of maturity and a healthy sexual relationship behind them knows that all one has to do is ask their partner what they want. and anyone who loves them enough will disclose that information and in turn she will say what she wants and he will give it to her.

but if i came in asking for some tips on blowjobs i would expect that somebody might give me some good graphic tips. but i wouldn't because as you get to know a person you become more comfortable with them and you can tell what is doing it for them and what could improve. i don't come in here and ask you guys tips on how to please my boyfriend because i know how to please him. we communicate.

what's different about this person is that she hears about blow jobs and how they're so great but doesn't know how it's done. obviously she's not comfortable with her boyfriend (if there is one she didn't mention it) to ask him directly.

it's one thing to be naive and clueless about sex but quite another to ask and receive answers that are incomplete or lacking in taste and judgement by other naive people.

i'm not saying that yours do rose i think you're very sensitive toward people and you give your honest advice and your knowledge on the subject is immense and you remain sensitive about what you say. i just think that we have to think about each individual as a person who is going to listen to us and take it to heart. as much as people say age doesn't matter it really does. 17 is still young. people are impressionable at that stage and why not let them know that there's more to think about, more to worry about then giving a guy a good blowjob. not to say that's not important, but she, the person, is important too.

[nomas]

Kids these days know more than some adults, sometimes...I mean sexually. Think back. Even at MY childhood, I heard about sex in like first grade. It just goes down the line, the adults tell the young adults, tell the teenagers, tell the pre-teens, tell the children.

We're in different worlds..every generation. Until they reach adulthood, we all run our private networks of what we think of other generations. When we're kids, parents dont understand, when we're teens we've got it all figured out, when we're adults kids and teens don't know shit, when we're old, we don't give a shit, we've spent too much of our lives over argueing petty things.

But argument is a form of entertainment, so here's my take:

I think it has little to do with the actual issue and more to do with taking shots at one another. The parties involved will know who they are, so I won't point anyone out, but I bet they'll agree they were just eager at the opportunity to take some shots.. and this is just a residual from spats in other threads.

But this gave me an idea about starting another thread...so some positive comes out of negative situations sometimes..

[misombra]

i think people are just having a discussion about this. maybe it seems like i'm taking jabs at people i don't know, maybe you were talking about me maybe you weren't. but i'm just trying to get a point across and i think that that is what shh, rose, and i have been doing today. none of us have taken jabs at each other and we're all respectful of what each person is saying. i too don't think that our thinking is that much different and i think this is a pretty interesting topic and conversation that hasn't really been talked about in here. positive things are coming from this thread. maybe you just don't see them. i think talking about these things is important and this type of conversation is too often repressed. so if anyone is interested i would still like to carry on. even if you take jabs at me i don't mind, i kinda like jabs.

[shh!]

Nah, I doubt he was talking about you, 'sombra. It is probably me and LL he is referring to. That is okay, in a way he is right. I clearly have more of an ideological stance than she does. I really hate to see women demean themselves, and I think it really is criminal to teach other females to demean themselves, so I call it when I see it. As I said before, I want to counter the potentially harmful advice given with advice that empowers and uplifts girls rather than drag them down. That is what I would want for MY daughter.

[Tone]

If I was a daughter I'd want you to be my mom shh! (*'-')

[shh!]

(blush) Aww, thanks! Aren't you sweet! I would adopt you.

[Tone]

Wait, you mean if I was a daughter?

[BlackRose]

I give up here.. Blah...

[shh!]

Wait, you mean if I was a daughter?

Nah - I like boys, too! They are WAY less complicated...

[mhussain]

shh! .. i would like to make just one point ...

u said that in ur childhood women kept their sex lives secret for the fear of appearing trashy ... just because something is kept secret doesnt make it right or wrong ...

a woman here has asked a question and we have tried to give her some asnwers ... we have automatically presumed that if by mistake she recieves improper advice , she will neglect all the good ones and act one it ..

give her some credit .. atleast she is asking ... i am sure we can all think of worse ways for her to find out ...

btw no offence meant

Hussain

[misombra]

there was nothing wrong with shh's post either but you still jumped all over it. accusing her of being jealous of you.(?)

and yes there are cultures that marry girls off when they're fifteen but there's also cultures that sell ten year old girls into prostitution. it doesn't make it right.

and yes she will go and do it anyway. nobody told her not to. but don't you think we should just a little responsible? 17 isn't as young as we make them sound because you're 19. we're a little older and we know how it is to look back on that age and realize how naive we could be. hell i was naive as hell until i turned about 24. what if this person doesn't have parents that she can talk to about sex? it's great that parents are now starting to be more open with their kids on the topic, but sometimes people are going out and learning things the hard way.

why not say something that might help them out, you know? that is our "job" of course.

[shh!]

shh! .. i would like to make just one point ...

u said that in ur childhood women kept their sex lives secret for the fear of appearing trashy ... just because something is kept secret doesnt make it right or wrong ...

Sorry, I don't catch your point here...

a woman here has asked a question and we have tried to give her some asnwers ... we have automatically presumed that if by mistake she recieves improper advice , she will neglect all the good ones and act one it ..

give her some credit .. atleast she is asking ... i am sure we can all think of worse ways for her to find out ...

btw no offence meant

Hussain

No offense taken, hussain. Your posts are always sensitive, responsible and thoughtful. I think we disagree on the nature of the original poster's level of development; you call her a woman, I call her a girl. If you don't think I am right, check out the other threads she has started. Clearly she is a girl. And again, I don't have a problem with the question being asked, but rather the irresponsible answer she was given.

But you are right - this thread has evolved from being about giving advice (which she did get on the first page or two) to whether or not one should act with responsibility when answering a question posed by a minor. Obviously I'd say yes.

[shh!]

Our job on this LF is to give advice and to answer peoples questions. Just because you (Shh!) think its inappropriate for a 17 year old to hear explicit details doesnt mean the rest of us do. I mean, I've seen plenty of 14 year olds on here asking advice about sex, but that doesnt seem to bother you.
I agree with BlackRose, if they are going to do it, they are going to do it and there is nothing we can say that will ultimately change their minds.
A 17 year old is not as young as you make them sound. There are cultures who marry off girls when theyre 15 and get them pregnant to keep the culture alive. Course, this is America so I do see where youre coming from, but 17 is legal for sex where I live. I just dont see a problem with this post.
She asked how (asking for details I'm sure) and we gave it to her.

(Sigh) I think I have already said 25 times that the problem lies NOT in the asking of the questions, whether the poster be 14 or 74. The problem is in not tailoring answers to be age-appropriate. Would you answer a 3-year-old's questions about where babies come from in the same way and with the same amount of detail as you would an 11-year old? I know you imagine yourself to be a wise woman at the ripe old age of 19, but trust me when I tell you that you've only just begun, and you could really benefit by trying to comprehend some of the points being made here. Psychologically, you don't sound far from the orignial poster, despite your sexual experience.