Red flag?

[IndiReloaded]

They aren't childhood friends. In fact the girl just knew him a month or two more than I know him.

I would be really pissed off that he is discussing this with her. It's a violation of your privacy.

The thing is, I would not have had any concerns had this not been a girl he was sleeping with before.

LW, you are a very smart girl. You know this is messed up. Like you said: they weren't childhood friends. They only knew each other 1-2 months longer than you. Which, logically, is when they slept together. So, innocent, this relationship of theirs is not. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he is playing you both.

Dump him. He's trouble, and so is she. Seeing some guy as 'friends' who has a BF. What a tramp. Leave them to each other and walk away with your chin up.

[Lulu]

I agree- why does she know so much about you and your relationship? He is obviously still emotionally involved with her- even if it isn't physical anymore. She is just playing the "supportive" role until the lead opens up. Do it the right way- tell him you feel like you are holding them back from exploring whatever they started and it is apparent he hasn't let go of it yet, considering he divulges so many intimate details to her about himself- he can go practice Kung Fu at another training center, right? Don't pity his upbringing- that is just a lame excuse. There are plenty of success stories out there that began with horrible childhoods- look for a success, not a cry baby.

[Cbrider]

The way I see it, a lie is a lie no matter how you spin it. Its a blatant breach of trust.

People tend to over think a lie and try to justify why it happened, its still a lie.

When it comes to relationships for me, tigers never lose their stripes.....

[lastwish]

Sigh. I don't know what to do with men. When you treat them nice in the beginning, they take you for granted. When you play hard to get, they cheat on you.

[Gigabitch]

That's not necessarily true. Some men are absolutely wonderful.

One thing I've found, though, is that you have to keep your boundaries firm. If this bothers you, it doesn't matter whether or not he thinks it's reasonable. It bugs you. For me, it would be a dealbreaker. Is it for you?

[lastwish]

Yes, it is. Well, we`re officially broken up now.

[Gigabitch]

You can do better.

[vashti]

Hang in there, lastwish. You are a smart girl, and you aren't being unreasonable to expect more.

[lastwish]

Thanks to all those who replied and supported me.

I broke up with him just this afternoon. I'm feeling pain, but not the intense kind. Hopefully, it won't creep up to me later.

[lastwish]

^^^Lol. I don't know why but I am hesitating clicking on the thanks button, DM.

[lastwish]

LOL. You should go to Indi's thanks post. Every time you post, you get thanks from a whole bunch of people.

[cmacattack1]

How old are you, sweety? I mean, it's possible he DOES love you, and he is just being young and stupid. Young males often lack emotional maturity. Of course, the way they grow is usually through painful lessons.

Heh, I always felt like girls were more physically mature (got their shit together, work harder, more direction and focus) but less emotionally mature (feel like they needed to be reminded how much we love them and care about them and to always check in with them to make them feel connected). Guys usually don't need to be reminded how much they are loved or cared while alot of girls do. Then again I'm talking about girls not women here but you get my drift.

[vashti]

Heh, I always felt like girls were more physically mature (got their shit together, work harder, more direction and focus) but less emotionally mature (feel like they needed to be reminded how much we love them and care about them and to always check in with them to make them feel connected). Guys usually don't need to be reminded how much they are loved or cared while alot of girls do. Then again I'm talking about girls not women here but you get my drift.

I can definitely see why you might call that characteristic immature, but i wouldn't characterize it that as emotional immaturity, but rather insecurity. But I will concede that males and females develop in different ways at different times.

[IndiReloaded]

Good for you, LW. You'll be fine. You don't miss him; your pain is for what might have been if he wasn't such a twerpy, dumbass schmuckhead.

[TJavis]

Like others said, lying is always a red flag!