Asking Out a Co-Worker?

[JimBo90]

I have worked in a small busy pharmacy before and there is always some downtime. Just ask her to write her number down while you're preparing meds. Who cares if others overhear you, no big deal mate.

[Braytc]

I have worked in a small busy pharmacy before and there is always some downtime. Just ask her to write her number down while you're preparing meds. Who cares if others overhear you, no big deal mate.

I appreciate it and understand where you're coming from. But i've been here for so long and for me at least, that could make the rest of my time here weird/awkward as hell. I might just slip her my number on my way walking out one day if she's alone but that's the biggest "window" you have at my place

[TheEvilJester]

I mean, I can certainly relate to that. It may sound to all of us as simple as "Why don't you just do XYZ?" Thing is, Braytc is telling us that, for him, that just does not work. He's just not comfortable with that. So, no amount of saying that will change the fact that it doesn't feel right to him. Believe me, I know from experience. Yes, ideally I would agree that you just slip her your number and ask her out and who cares if anybody else hears it.....

BUT, that doesn't work for Braytc, so chances are he probably wouldn't do that. I know the feeling. I've had crushes or mini-crushes before on women where it was in a situation that, for one reason or another, just didn't seem the most conducive to striking up a conversation with a relative stranger. No amount of people telling me, or me telling myself "Just go up and talk to her... who cares?" would ever make me feel comfortable with it. Don't get me wrong, asking somebody out is ALWAYS a nerve-wracking situation. ...But you can make it so much better for yourself by at least doing so in the best possible scenario.... as long as their is an option.

In other words, Braytc is not comfortable asking her in front of all their co-workers.... so no amount of us telling him or him trying to tell himself just to do it is likely to change his mind. So, since there ARE other possible options, better just to decide which works best.

Honestly, I may have had my doubts about the one option (showing back up when you know she'll be getting off of work), but others do not seem to be sharing my reservations. So, that may just be me. So, honestly, I'd say it really doesn't matter HOW you do it. Just go with whatever option feels most right to you for your given situation. Sure, face to face would be ideal, but if the situation doesn't allow, then better to go with an alternative plan rather than to just let yourself give up on trying AT ALL.

Good luck.

[NewJack]

... Honestly, I may have had my doubts about the one option (showing back up when you know she'll be getting off of work)...

Why would you have doubts about it that option? It seems to be the only way to make the contact without letting others know about it?

Although, I suppose he could find a way to follow her out on a break, if they have breaks, and hope no one else is taking a break at the same time.

[Braytc]

Why would you have doubts about it that option? It seems to be the only way to make the contact without letting others know about it?

Although, I suppose he could find a way to follow her out on a break, if they have breaks, and hope no one else is taking a break at the same time.

1 person per break. no more

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I mean, I can certainly relate to that. It may sound to all of us as simple as "Why don't you just do XYZ?" Thing is, Braytc is telling us that, for him, that just does not work. He's just not comfortable with that. So, no amount of saying that will change the fact that it doesn't feel right to him. Believe me, I know from experience. Yes, ideally I would agree that you just slip her your number and ask her out and who cares if anybody else hears it.....

BUT, that doesn't work for Braytc, so chances are he probably wouldn't do that. I know the feeling. I've had crushes or mini-crushes before on women where it was in a situation that, for one reason or another, just didn't seem the most conducive to striking up a conversation with a relative stranger. No amount of people telling me, or me telling myself "Just go up and talk to her... who cares?" would ever make me feel comfortable with it. Don't get me wrong, asking somebody out is ALWAYS a nerve-wracking situation. ...But you can make it so much better for yourself by at least doing so in the best possible scenario.... as long as their is an option.

In other words, Braytc is not comfortable asking her in front of all their co-workers.... so no amount of us telling him or him trying to tell himself just to do it is likely to change his mind. So, since there ARE other possible options, better just to decide which works best.

Honestly, I may have had my doubts about the one option (showing back up when you know she'll be getting off of work), but others do not seem to be sharing my reservations. So, that may just be me. So, honestly, I'd say it really doesn't matter HOW you do it. Just go with whatever option feels most right to you for your given situation. Sure, face to face would be ideal, but if the situation doesn't allow, then better to go with an alternative plan rather than to just let yourself give up on trying AT ALL.

Good luck.

Appreciate it.
Again it is not my CHOICE, it's like a law lol. When you're at a place like this for so long and so many years and grown so close with certain people, it's like your family. To have anyone know i'm asking out a girl like that they'd be like "uhhh, what the heck?" and the entire place would be so weird to work at it's not even funny. This isn't just a regular restaurant or department store asking out some random girl and that's it, everyone is so close together at my place, both physically and mentally lol.
I might just wait until she's leaving the company , still undecided. I'm getting mixed reviews on my idea to go back to the store when she's leaving (she works every night pretty much till same time and i'm during the day) . Idk i thought it would make her feel kind of "cool/special" that someone is doing that because they care so much about them. But that's just me and why i'm always asking for other opinions.
Right now a social media message doesn't seem so bad also, as well as giving her a note.

[TheEvilJester]

Why would you have doubts about it that option? It seems to be the only way to make the contact without letting others know about it?

Really mostly just because the specific details of the situation. He gets off for work hours before she does. Unless I misunderstood, there isn't really any specific sensible reason why he'd happen to be back anyway. Like in the example I gave where if he worked at a department store, he could come back "to do some shopping" and then "happen" to bump into her as she was leaving for work and ask her out then. To me, I guess what I was thinking somebody MIGHT think weird is the fact that he made it a point to come all the way back to work HOURS after his shift ended... just to ask her out.

....But again, I said right from the start that it could just be me. So far, anybody else responding didn't seem to share my same reservations, so maybe that is just my paranoia. I just sort of put myself in his shoes and can imagine that is exactly what I'd be thinking.... that if I did that she'd get skeeved out and think I was a weirdo. To be 100% honest, if it were the other way around and a gal did that for me, I WOULD NOT feel weirded out at all and in fact would be incredibly flattered. So, maybe that is just me being weird. I don't know.

So, honestly, others seem to think that option is just fine. That being the case, I would say don't write that option off if you feel like it works for you, Braytc. I mean, if you CAN contact her via e-mail/social media/text message or whatever and you feel more comfortable with that, then do that. I'm just saying, if the popping back into work when she gets off seems like an acceptable option to you, then at least still consider it an option. I may have my reservations about it, but that very well could just be me. So, maybe I wouldn't do that, but it doesn't necessarily mean it isn't your option if you think it would be best given the options you have.

I will also say this.... if your co-workers are are close-knit as you say then I think chances are they'd probably actually be happy for you two to get together. I really doubt they'd find it strange or be judgmental about it at all. I mean, it isn't like you actually ARE family. LOL! I mean, maybe some of them would be judgmental about it (sometimes people are just nosey jerks), but honestly, who really cares if they are? It really is none of their damn business what two consenting adults do or do not want to do with their own dating life.

Once again, good luck. If you can't/are unlikely to get the chance to ask her out during work, then you certainly should try whatever other option you think works best. Much better than the alternative option of just not trying at all.

[melancholia]

OP, what happened to asking her out on Friday? Were you not able to give her your number/ask for hers? Why didn't you show up after she was off work?

[NewJack]

Really mostly just because the specific details of the situation. He gets off for work hours before she does. Unless I misunderstood, there isn't really any specific sensible reason why he'd happen to be back anyway. Like in the example I gave where if he worked at a department store, he could come back "to do some shopping" and then "happen" to bump into her as she was leaving for work and ask her out then. To me, I guess what I was thinking somebody MIGHT think weird is the fact that he made it a point to come all the way back to work HOURS after his shift ended... just to ask her out.

No. There's no reason for him to be there except asking her out so he should just tell her he's there to ask her out.

I was in a similar situation (as far as not being able to talk in the store) but I wasn't even scheduled to work that day. I just drove down to the store and waited by her car. She asked me what I was doing there and I told her. We had a nice little chat and then went our separate ways.

....But again, I said right from the start that it could just be me. So far, anybody else responding didn't seem to share my same reservations, so maybe that is just my paranoia. I just sort of put myself in his shoes and can imagine that is exactly what I'd be thinking.... that if I did that she'd get skeeved out and think I was a weirdo. To be 100% honest, if it were the other way around and a gal did that for me, I WOULD NOT feel weirded out at all and in fact would be incredibly flattered.

Absolutely! If she's interested at all, I think having him go out of his way to let her know will be a big plus for him.

[melancholia]

I would think it's much weirder to lie about coming back for a different reason, and then ask her out, especially if the intention was to ask her out anyway. OP is way better off being honest and going back and telling her he wanted to ask her out.