What do these things mean?

[HeartIsAching]

At best she's confused... at worst she's jerking you around for the fun of it. I'm guessing the latter.

Tell her to put up or shut up, and see what happens. I'm guessing you'll have heard the last from her - and good riddance.

[James89]

Thank you Wakeup, I really appreciate your advice. I'm also grateful for everyone else's commentary too, I'm glad that I have found this forum, thank you guys for being so real.

[Wakeup]

You're welcome, James. Good luck and just keep this in mind when/if you're in a casual relationship: The one who care less is the one who has the most power.

[James89]

i know i said i would try and move passed this and when i think about it logically it's obviously the only thing i should do but this girl is drivin me crazy i just can't seem to get over it, i mean after all this shit she's already seeing this other guy whos shes already known for a while i guess but always claimed to not like him in a romantic way of any sort, and he's a loser with no prospects and no brain and i just don't see how she's gonna go for him instead of me after all the great times her and I have had together, and im the only person who knows how to make her feel good physically and mentally and she knows it too and i just don't get why a girl would do this it's cruel, she always claimed we were like best friends (even though we did alot more than things just friends would do) i just dont understand like why would she completely lead me on make up lies tell me there was a possibility of a future i mean i am completely lost. i dont want to hear "just get over it and move on" because i'm not tryin to win her back or anything i kind of hate her at this point but i need to understand so i don't fall for this shit again cause this is not a good feeling at all i'm not in a good mindstate right now, i apologize for ranting i just dont have anywhere else to vent

[James89]

should i just tell her off? i havent talked to her in weeks and i dont think shes realized how angry shes made me let alone heartbroken but i mean i don't intend to spill my guts to her, just tell her that what she did was unacceptable and let her know that she done fvcked up screwin me over like that, i wanna make her feel at least a little guilt if any i feel like i can't just let her go about her way la d da without knowin that she really pissed me off and that shes losin out big time. but hey i dont know if thats necessarily the right thing to do i feel like i just got to blow off some steam and particularly in her direction, and it could be one of those things i will regret later but i cant seem to think of any reason why not to. maybe save it for when i get really drunk.

[Wakeup]

If this was a FB situation then there were'nt any committments made to each other so why are you so bent out of shape. If you can't play nicely then you shouldn't be in the game.

This is the chance people take when they agree to be in each other's pants without committment being in place. It can still happen with a mutually agreed to committment but at least you know that they want to at least try having a decent relationship with you and (hopefully) won't be scouting the land for another lay that may take your place.

Let it go. She didn't owe you anything but honesty. If you go zero contact then you will get through this quicker and soon enough you'll not have this angst and need to some how get even for this mis-placed feeling of being jerked around.

Edited to add: I said this earlier and I think it still applies.

Let some time pass (likes a couple of months) and in the meantime, stop pining for her and get out there and keep busy and do lots of things with your friends that will help you to get over her.. who knows you may even meet someone and never have to worry about her and her non-committal ever again.

The bolded part is important.

[James89]

wow so just when shit can't get any harder she shows up to my work with the guy (dumb fat loser) that shes been seein- after i hadnt seen or heard from her in like over 2 weeks now. i'm pretty sure she didn't realize i was going to be there she just wanted to get some free food since i work with her roommate (we work at a restaurant.) of course any day in the past she would practically follow me around the restaurant and come all the way into the back and want to chat it up, but this time she pretends like she doesn't notice me for the first ten minutes she's there, and when she finally decides to say something she just says hey (my name) in a soft innocent voice, and i give a little nod without really looking at her, and then she left shortly after. i could tell solely from her voice that she knew what she did, she knew i wasn't too happy and she was too scared to talk to me at this point. . plus we usually know when something is bothering one another, even if we think we're good at hiding it, and this wasn't one of those cases where i was necessarily hiding anything really well. maybe she would have said something more if that guy wasn't there but i doubt it. i couldn't help but be extremely pissed the rest of the night so i broke some dishes. it seems like recently it has started becoming easier to get her out of my head and not think about it, but sometimes my emotions just consume me and take over and its unbearable. in this particular instance there was no way i could of handled seeing her, and esp with that douche, so my emotions really took over then. i'm bent out of shape because we weren't just fb, we were best friends, and i don't have that anymore because i wanted something more and she apparently doesn't. if i had to vent about anything at all this was the girl i could goto but now i cant. it's not that i don't know what to do, it's just that its so damn hard man..

ive lightweight been trying to mack on some other girls, but its difficult. when i was talking to this girl ^ i could talk to any girl all day with mad confidence, but i just don't have it in me right now.. i'm feeling like i don't want to get close to another girl because of this ordeal and at the same time i'm feelin more lonely than ever.

[James89]

ok i feel fine now. just needed to smoke a little weed and level my head out. hadn't even done that for months, but i feel like it was just the thing i needed to do. honestly when i was in high school i would never put up with girls who did this kinda shit and i was always annoyed at people who got caught up in it. i feel dumb, i feel like i just had my first highschool drama bullshit moment, and that was pretty gay, sorry yall.

[adamh1]

Mate - Some women just have a way to embed themselves in us. Don't beat yourself up over it. It happens to the best of us!!

No matter how relaxed we think we are, there are always certain people that know exactly what buttons to push to get us going.

Glad your feeling better now.

[James89]

thanks man yea im definitely feeling better now, smokin definitely helps the process more than anything i can think of. i'm so grateful for life right now, screw that beezy. i mean ok its true that i still hold feelings for her, for the good qualities anyway, that is if those feelings aren't based on lies. either way it doesn't matter now cause i'm over it, i dont have time to screw around people i'm a grown ass man.

[Orchid46]

Darkhelmet82 I want your advice on this, been seeing this guy for two years, nice company, good sex , for about two months now I have noticed a change in him, less phone calls , all the signals, I really like him, when I ask him if he is seeing someone else he accuses me of being insecure , somethign is not right, am following my gut feeling......what do you think, called him today , he is talking about his roof leaking if I can get the stuff to fix it, thats after we had a big right, I called to say I am sorry and thats his anser, is he nutz or am i nutz? time to get out right

[James89]

spoke too soon, this seriously sucks.

[James89]

Wakeup, I need your opinion on this one because she has been showing up to my work every week with the guy she dropped me for... she doesn't talk to me she just says hi and that's it. I don't try and initiate any conversation but i'm trying to get over her and now I keep seeing her, and with him. It feels like a giant slap in the face.

[surfhb]

Wakeup, I need your opinion on this one because she has been showing up to my work every week with the guy she dropped me for... she doesn't talk to me she just says hi and that's it. I don't try and initiate any conversation but i'm trying to get over her and now I keep seeing her, and with him. It feels like a giant slap in the face.

Yeah....you were slapped in the face! Move on and get over this girl

[xiaapiee]

Ok I'm in need of some more opinions