Will you guys marry a girl who has kids???? (please give me your opinion on this)

[DoesntMatter]

PTFTW!!

.. Physical training for the win?

[Illusional]

physical training = lifting weight and exercising.

raverboy

[DoesntMatter]

PT is what the military calls excercising

I thought since you had a "change in life priorities" maybe you joined the military

[ashscottish]

Just for the record.. I am never in a hurry, I always take my time in everything I do.. I just like to get some opinion on you guys whether you can accept someone who has responsibilites (kids) and be with them..

I understand if people cant just accept, it mayba part of the culture where your'e from or because we just have different point of views... I really do appreciate the advices you guys are giving...

And right now, all that I am doing is concentrating on my work and my kids... There's nothing more fulfilling than that... At the end of the day, before I go to sleep, I am thanking that I was able to live my life to the fullest and Im very happy that Im alive and my kids are healthy... Thats all that matters to me...

[Gigabitch]

Just for the record.. I am never in a hurry, I always take my time in everything I do..

Oh, man. You're one of those moms who is always late to the birthday party. Great.

[Henry123]

" Will you guys marry a girl who has kids???? "

I guess I might if I really like her.

[IndiReloaded]

Love me, love my kid. Package deal or get lost. I should think a guy would appreciate that kind of honesty.

But I honestly don't know how single mom's do it. I'd feel so compelled to be 'twice the parent' that I doubt I'd find the time or energy for dating w/a young child to think of.

[tooxshort]

It's rough ... as said before, the man has to have kids already ...

or ... you have to be close for a fairly long time ...

I'll probably get bashed for this, but I think it's sort of like getting a new car ... if you buy the car brand new, you get to learn its problems as they go along. But with used cars, you discover problems that just show up without being eased into them as with the new car.

Ha ... i musta slep too long to come up with that one.

[ashscottish]

Love me, love my kid. Package deal or get lost. I should think a guy would appreciate that kind of honesty.

But I honestly don't know how single mom's do it. I'd feel so compelled to be 'twice the parent' that I doubt I'd find the time or energy for dating w/a young child to think of.

This is very true... It will take a lot of effort on the guys part to actually accept everything.

[vashti]

This is very true... It will take a lot of effort on the guys part to actually accept everything.

If it really requires effort, perhaps you should reconsider whether he is a good fit for your family. I wouldn't dream of bringing a man around who found tolerating my kids to be an effort.

[squirrley]

Package deal is right! It shouldnt be if the person can tolerate the child it should be love unconditionally because that person is SO child.

Its been hell raising my son for 16 years and I certainly didnt dream of getting married until he finished HS JUST to avoid any BS in the 2 or 3 yrs to come, but I got married thinking things would be ok. Theyre not and it sucks!!!!

I dated an older guy who had 2 boys who were around my sons age. They were great kids and I had felt the relationship wouldve gone somewhere I wouldve taken them on as my own. Not as a replacement mom but a mom nonetheless.

[vashti]

I dated an older guy who had 2 boys who were around my sons age. They were great kids and I had felt the relationship wouldve gone somewhere I wouldve taken them on as my own. Not as a replacement mom but a mom nonetheless.

Things never work out the way you think they will with step kids, despite good intentions.They most likely would have rebelled at some point, or your boy would have, (either about being the step-child or a step-sibling) and you would STILL be in a similar mess to the one you are in now. More kids = increased risk of trouble.

As much as I love my kids, I realize they are not assets when it comes to a romantic life. If my husband died prematurely, I wouldn't even consider dating until they are off to college. No way am I interested in bring a step-anything into their life. It is way too much stress, which I know from experience.

[squirrley]

Vashti I agree with you 100%. I wouldve have good intentions. I sometimes wonder if i dont have regrets marrying too soon because of my son.

I just thought the timing was ok and we'd be ok, alot of trust went into this on part. And youre right things do happen you dont expect its how we handle those curve balls. This wasnt handled very well.

[ashscottish]

That is very true...

We just cant really predict whts going to happen even if we try avoiding such circumstances....

[vashti]

Live and learn. (I know *I* did.)

I sure wish I knew then what I know now.