How do you masturbate?

[Tone]

I'm glad I'm a boy! *blush*

[Late_vamp]

hey , lets review the question .

how do i masturbate ? ... umm i dont know

with my monkey named chim-chim
with my spatula
maybe with my feet ( have to be extremely flexible to do this)
my sister lends me a hand ( opps pun ... no shit sherlock )

no you know what , i like to squeeze ketchup all over my palms . then i go on a rampage to jerk my dick off so hard that it almost rips while singing living la vida loca and watching pictures of Barry White while im sitting on the can trying to crack a shit all at the same time , then when im done i just take my hand full of Jizz and ****ed up super salty ketchup and i smeer it all over my sandwitch that was next to me the during the WHOLE act .

and THATS how i masturbate ...

NOT ... i dont , plain and simple .

[pariank]

i go on a rampage to jerk my dick off so hard that it almost rips while singing living la vida loca and watching pictures of Barry White while im sitting on the can trying to crack a shit all at the same time

Lol, another funny post from vamp.

[Junket]

I've found that lately, like you, I've been havin to use my imagination a lot more, too.

Fras, I don't like to whack it in the shower. And wow, get a grip dude, I seen some of those girls and yea...

There's 3* in particular that are "average".

I wasn't fortunate enough to get a team with really hot girls (believe me, there are some hot girls in the Corps). But overall it's for the best that way anyway.

See they got a term called "teamcest".

People try to avoid any intimacy within the team because well...duh, it's more likely to cause issues.

[lilwing89]

on my bed with my left hand..no lubes usually cause i dont like to clean up. i try to get the job done as fast as possible, resulting anywhere from 5-10 minutes. when the jism comes, i wipe it on my tanktop or my blanky and go to bed (fall asleep faster.)

in the bathroom, ill stick something in my ass usually. most preferrably a cucumber from the kitchen.. since there is only 4, i have to rinse it off when im done and stick it back in the cucumber basket.. we ate one of the ones ive been using for a while yesterday for thanksgiving . i didnt eat any though, knowing where the damn thing has been.
i have only just recently been able to stick things as large as cucumbers up my ass. i stretched my hole out the last time i did it..hurt for 3 days but it was worth it!..wow my farts STINK today!! (sry i just farted!)

at the computer, looking at porno. usually at free6.com or watching my brothers porno movies(that he wastes his time downloading on our slow-ass dialup!)

[lilwing89]

oh and btw i hate jerkin it in the shower cause when i jizz i get jism all over my chest/pubes and when water hits the jizz its the equivalent to wood glue. (no joke!)

[Late_vamp]

are you for real lilwang ?
that kind of freaks me out ... your just 16 ... that just a slight idea of what the world is becoming .

[updraft]

I do it every week or so with my new purple dildo ...

[shh!]

Jeez, lilwing! That is gross! If you are telling the truth, please throw the cucumbers away. What, do you hate your family or something? I wouldn't do that to anyone.

[whaywardj]

Well, you gotta him an "A" for determination, Shh! A little too much preoccupation with the matter, by my lights, and considerably self-centered, but he is young, after all. Maybe it'll level out to something more sensible by the time he's 18. I hope so.

[updraft]

in the bathroom, ill stick something in my ass usually. most preferrably a cucumber from the kitchen.. since there is only 4, i have to rinse it off when im done and stick it back in the cucumber basket.. we ate one of the ones ive been using for a while yesterday for thanksgiving . i didnt eat any though, knowing where the damn thing has been.

That's just nasty.

[Junket]

'Wing dude...

If you're gonna stick some vegetable up yer ass.

Throw it away for the sake of decency.

Or buy yourself a damn dildo!

[clynn]

buy your own cucumbers

[johnzilla2004]

angry
angry masterbation! LOL

[Junket]

angry
angry masterbation! LOL

I don't get it...

What's so funny here?