Depressed, Confused, and dont know what to do.

[flow90]

Don't contact her whatever you do! Give her a chance to miss you.... Let her come to you. Be confident and let her wonder what you're doing, if she messages you don't reply straight away, ignore it. She will message you again if you ignore it and she will miss the attention you give her. Seriously she won't come back to you if she knows your sitting at home missing her and chasing after her... If she gets bored easily then you need to be unpredictable and don't contact her for at least a week

[DarkHelmet82]

I waited 9 days before i contacted her and I was cool, and collected. I kept it short. The issue is I think she may be afraid to contact me, for a numbner of reasons, most importantly becausae she ended it and maybe doesnt know how to apologize or admit she made a mistake.

[flow90]

If she wanted to contact you, nothing would stop her. If she really wanted you back then she would come back. But you do know her better than I do... all I know is if a dumper wants to come back, nothing would stop them

[DarkHelmet82]

hmmm good point... what if shes playing games, trying to see if I actually care about her in some sort of sick and cynical way?

[Leviia]

Then seriously ... do you WANT to be with someone who acts that way? Letting go isn't weak, letting go for the sake of your health and well being is strong. I know I'm having the same problems.... we can give you all the advice in the world but you'll do as you need to do regardless.

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah i knew you were gonna say that lol....what if shes just testing me see how strong I am? Im telling you there is no logic or reason behind the breakup.... I was away for a few days before we hugn out that friday and she constantly kept telling me how much she missed me and how she cant wait to see me. SOMETHING flipped her swtich... i just dont know what....... normally i would move on but the problem is i dont want ANY girl. i want her

[Ollie76]

Man, we are in very similar situations with her having "issues" and all. This is my plan.

Today is the 9th day since my break up and there has been zero contact from both sides. This is definitely the longest in 4+ years that we have been apart. I've already arranged for flowers to be delivered to her job on Valentines Day. I'm just going to wait for the flowers to arrive and see if she contacts me. However, I'm not expecting contact from her because of the flowers and whether she contacts me or not will act as a sign if I should move on or not.

I guess in her eyes, I did something wrong that led her to leave me and I know she wants me to chase her to win her back (she watches too many damn romantic comedies. LOL) Now, I'm not willing to flush this relationship down the toilet (ESP for some petty argument) so I'm going to step up and take action to get her back. So, if my plan works...cool, if not, I must move on.

So, basically 2 weeks of no contact then BOOM, flowers on Valentines Day telling her on a small card "thinking of you". I'm not a fan of the no contact rule for long period of time because if I'm going to move on, it should be ASAP. And, once I'm gone...I'm gone, regardless if she begs me back.

I will keep you posted on how that goes.

[DarkHelmet82]

good luck dude.. im not doing the flowers thing..I hate the NO contact rule too... for a couple reasons..

1. if you forget about them they will do the same no?
2. everyone is different despite what people may say.. what works for one person wont necessarily work for us all.

im hoping that me NOT contacting her on valentines will force her hand.. If i dont hear from her I will meet up with her.. im sure she will, and ill lay it all out and find out what the **** happened. What do I say.. I dont want to make it seem like I am doing terrible and havent eaten and barely sleep lol... How do i find out why she had a sudden and drastic change of heart and get some answers without being pathetic and sounding desperate

[Ollie76]

Haha....I see what your saying but I KNOW my EX is going to use my actions on Valentines Day as a gauge also. All girls are different and only you know your Ex's personality, so act accordingly.

[DarkHelmet82]

mine might too.. and maybe thats what she wants.. well MAYBE SHE SHOULD ****ING SAY SOMETHING... instead of being CRAZY... arrrg.. im so ****ing frustrated i feel like breaking something.

[Horseyguy]

This thread is really good, getting lots from it.

I've gone no contact from when I left last night, we have a date for Valentines day but I'm not going. Way I figure it is that it's over and I need to accept that so celebrating a day of our love just seems too false to me.

I'm guessing because I walk out on her last night and have gone no contact I'll not hear from her for a while

[DarkHelmet82]

you may not hear from her at all.... but space might be a good thing.. thats what im hoping too...

[Horseyguy]

I'm just in the denial stage lol

Really last thing I need from her right now is contact because if she does contact me and say lets get together I'd probably jump at it and the cycle continues.

I really need to not hear from her or see her now until I've got over her

[DarkHelmet82]

I think I am too buddy

[Ollie76]

Now, with break ups like ours that didn't involve cheating, beating, or mental abuse, I believe no contact should be minimal. Give each other some space to think shit through but i wouldn't wait too long. The reason being is that at the moment, I'm thinking that because she has not contacted me for this long simply means that she is over me, don't give a shit, found someone else, etc. But guess what, she is thinking the exact same ****ing thing!!

Some girls are willing to let that shit eat up inside her for the rest of their lives. It's weird, but in general, women's ways are weird. Some of the shit they do just does not make any sense.

MOST WOMEN LIKE TO BE CHASED AFTER. I'm giving it a shot by swallowing my pride. What do I have to lose? At this point, I think I already lost her. Screw it, I'll give one last crack at it.