More questions and advice needed?

[JadenMia]

I definitely am going to sit him down and do exactly that. I have tried in the past to tell him how i feel.. That i feel this way, and he usually tells me to shutup and stop causing problems. Or that i complicate things all the time when things are good. But they are not good in my eyes. Not at all lately.
If he starts just dismissing me completely should i just leave? Is that enough to tell me he doesnt give a shit?

It sounds silly i am asking these questions, but it seems i dont really have a f*cking clue about how a man feels so i want to be sure what i am doing is right.. Because right now i pretty much see that the fact he hasnt left me yet, means loves me and the way he bosses me around is because he is protective and looking after me.

He will not validate my concerns.. I know this right now and can already see exactly what i he is going to say.
'What are you bitching about now'.. 'All you like to do is worry your little head and get worked up'.. 'Before you start saying i need to shape up.. Look at yourself. What exactly do you bring into this relationship'..

When i bring the issue about the married woman, he says he hasnt done anything at all so why is he not allowed to go to wings night on a wednesday with her and his buddy, he says i cant control who he sees and i shouldnt get involved.
I wouldnt care, but what sort of person should she be cheating on her hubby, leaving her kids to go out for wings.. She even picked the guys up from the bar late on saturday. Where are her kids times like these? I dont get it..
I would probably go with if i could.. But obviously i am a mother also, i just like to stay home with my girl when i have worked all day..So i cant even check this woman out see what shes like..

And my whole motivation to being with him is he does make me feel loved. He holds me like nobody has ever before.. The sex is *amazing*. I have never experienced anything like it..All in all we have been together for 14 months or so.. And every night we are together we have sex. Which is every night except for maybe 2 weeks or so of the year.. It has almost become a routine that we *have* to have sex every night before bed. If we dont he gets pissy, makes me feel bad and says i dont love him anymore. He is so exhausting!!!!
Its annoying he can be this amazing and loving in the bedroom but not anywhere else in the relationship. But yes, that contributes to why i stay.. When i left him all i could think about is how he treated me in bed and how nobody else is going to be able to give me the same.. It makes me feel number 1 and i do crave it..

[SelflessnHumble]

I have to go but it is so easy to please a woman Jaden, he's not anything special trust me.
If I could tell you how many times I left women incapacitated, basically comatose due to the immense pleasure
I've given them you'd think I was some sexual Tyrannosaurus but the fact is:

It's only a feeling: it's like sugar or chocolate, when you get it you want more.
Fact is: putting a penis inside of you, and watching you shake like a huge earthquake doesn't = love. (I think you know that)
so he uses the sex: as power he holds over your head and now you feel you'd never get the same pleasure he provides...

Not true! Trust me.
See, I suspect if you don't have sex with him: he'd leave you or tell you to GTFO: guaranteed.
You've lowered the bar so low: as long as you put out: everything's peachy.

[JadenMia]

So i see this is a big matter of just me sticking up for myself more.

Ahh, i can do it!! I know if there was one thing i always did pride myself in was being a strong woman.. I have lost all that.. Wow.
Come to think of it, i do whatever the heck he tells me to, even sex. Which i put down to me liking it too.. But really there are times i dont want too, and i still do because i dont want to upset him.
I do so much for him. I dont know why i let him talk me into thinking he does just as much for me.

I do wonder if i didnt do everything that i do, would he really stay with me.. I dont think he would.. Either he would leave or there would be trouble.

this has really helped. Thanks SelflessnHumble. This really did help me..
Time to show this asshole who i was before i met him.. And that he isnt going to rule me.
Its going to be hard to break this routine.. But i know i can do it.

[courtney90]

Sounds like you finally got your head in the right place! I really wish you all the best when you talk to him about this. Just remember to stay strong...if not for you but for your little girl also...she doesn't need to be in this type of environment any more than you do! Good luck and keep up posted on how everything goes!!

[SelflessnHumble]

So i see this is a big matter of just me sticking up for myself more.

Ahh, i can do it!! I know if there was one thing i always did pride myself in was being a strong woman.. I have lost all that.. Wow.
Come to think of it, i do whatever the heck he tells me to, even sex. Which i put down to me liking it too.. But really there are times i dont want too, and i still do because i dont want to upset him.
I do so much for him. I dont know why i let him talk me into thinking he does just as much for me.

I do wonder if i didnt do everything that i do, would he really stay with me.. I dont think he would.. Either he would leave or there would be trouble.

this has really helped. Thanks SelflessnHumble. This really did help me..
Time to show this asshole who i was before i met him.. And that he isnt going to rule me.
Its going to be hard to break this routine.. But i know i can do it.

I'm very happy for you and commend you for seeing this!
Just know that no matter what: you have to make your own decisions.
We're here to help you in anyway we can: and of course support you!

It took me nearly 10 years for me to see just how bad I was before I even began to change.
Don't wait for what may never come to pass, k?