Sexual chats, occasionally with 16 year olds

[oldskool83]

SUCKS when ya gotta grow up dont it.

[Incognito]

Where the hell do these people come from? Where the hell is the common sense and moral values? 26 yr old man, sexual content chats with minors = loser creepo pervert. GF who allows this behaviour as long as there is no web cam = idiot.

Not speaking of the OP, but common sense and moral values are laughed at these days. Especially moral values. That can be seen right here on LF where as soon as someone mentions morality they are verbally beaten and labeled as 'not being open', oppressive, or dogmatic. Don't even bring up religion if you believe in God here on LF, good grief, they'll say that you're some kind of narrow minded brainwashed nut. SMH

[oldskool83]

no one has mornals anymore, i learned that years ago.

[Anna25]

no one has mornals anymore, i learned that years ago.

I disagree though I'm sure I'm not the best source for you to hear this from. There are great acts of kindness all around us. Just because people aren't perfect doesn't mean they don't have morals. I regularly see young people giving their seats to elderly and pregnant women on buses, friends helping out friends in financial need, sacrificing of themselves to help others, a teacher staying extra hours to help a child in need of help, even helping an old woman with her grocery bags. Its as blind to jade yourself into only seeing the bad, as it would be to wear rose-tinted glasses.

[Incognito]

There will always be some people that are "good", but the world is generally an amoral place where decent people belong less and less.

[Anna25]

This is off topic, so I will only make one more response in this thread about it (we can always open a new topic in a forum where it better belongs).

There will always be some people that are "good", but the world is generally an amoral place where decent people belong less and less.

There aren't "good" people or "bad" people. We are all combinations somewhere in between. Perhaps what leaves so many feeling jaded is that very black and white thinking. If you try and categorize a person as "good" you will almost never succeed and when you do, you will inevitably be disappointed because no one is perfect and that person will fall off the pedestal you have so carefully placed them on. We must be capable of seeing the good and the bad or we will entirely miss all of the good that is there.

In regards to decent people belonging less and less, I'd argue differently, that if the world is amoral then "decent" people are only more and more important.

[Incognito]

Yes, you're totally right. This is something that should be discussed in another thread. For the record I disagree with you. Many people can be categorized.

[oldskool83]

I was kinda being a smart ass but you have to look for good, you dont need to look for bad. i stoped watching the news once i realized 95% of it is bad new, stopped looking at the paper too. Hell internet getting old now nothing good happens lol.

maybe, just maybe when i leave for work ill let somone pull out in front of me and try this being good stuff.

as far as morals, when it comes to relationship stuff the older ive gotten then worse ive seen. thats what im talking about.

[lahnnabell]

I was kinda being a smart ass but you have to look for good, you dont need to look for bad. i stoped watching the news once i realized 95% of it is bad new, stopped looking at the paper too. Hell internet getting old now nothing good happens lol.

maybe, just maybe when i leave for work ill let somone pull out in front of me and try this being good stuff.

as far as morals, when it comes to relationship stuff the older ive gotten then worse ive seen. thats what im talking about.

My boyfriend watches the news on his iPad. I have to ask him to put on headphones 'cause it depresses the sh*t out of me.

[celestina]

He doesn't target these girls, they lie and sometimes after hours of chatting you find out. He's been in these chatrooms since his teens and I believe he never stopped to think of the passage of time and that at 26, it is no longer appropriate if a girl is 16 and the conversation heads in a sexual direction.

He goes into many chats and some develop sexually. Most don't. Of those that developed sexually, in some of them he found out at a later point that the person was 15 or 16. At this point, he did not exit as he should have because he did not see them as children.

Oh please. Stop trying to convince the reader AND yourself that not knowing their age at first makes it an acceptable excuse for his behavior. "I didn't know their age at first" is what every pedophile uses in court. Whether this is how it happened or not, these details don't matter. Please stop using them as a defense. Do you see what you're doing here? You are defending him, and you are defending yourself for accepting what he does. The way you keep repeating this horrible explanation only shows how gullible/naive you are. (don't wanna offend but just couldn't say it in any other way).

At least he is somewhat honest about the chatting with minors. But even if he says he'll try to stop, you'll never know if he's still doing it or not. And because these urges don't just go away... well it is good that you are there to keep an eye on him and to make sure he never acts upon them. Coz yeah, if everything else is going well in your relationship, I say stay with him, and help him.

Good luck.

PS. DON'T show him this thread.

[punky]

You should get out of this either way, you are missing the big picture. I wouldn't want my SO being actively suggestive with anyone, any age.

[deeblondie82]

I just think if he does not stop talking in chats then he will never change. It is completely wrong to talk to someone underage at 26 no matter what it is about.. especially about anything dealing with sex. He needs to stop doing that before someone see's that and thinks he is being a real predator