Should I worry about his new friend?

[IndiReloaded]

It'd be different if I had known her before or if I had met her or if he and her had known each other for a while or prior to being in a relationship with me.

Well, I agree with this^. Your thinking here is completely reasonable. So, what are you going to do about it? Just roll over and let this girl move in on your BF? Chances are high that is what she is doing.

[Twiz]

I thought this girl had a boyfriend already?

Apparently she does but the weird thing is she's never met her boyfriend personally. He lives around the area but she's always been "too afraid" to go to his house. Hell, I don't even think her boyfriend is real, I think she's totally making it up. But on her profile on facebook she has under her picture, like that little box where you can type stuff, it says something like "I love my hubby 6.4.10 <3".

-------------------------------

I saw my boyfriend tonight even though he is still getting over being sick and he still sounded a little sick but otherwise he said he felt fine but we avoided close contact (like kissing) aside from a few hugs because he didn't want to get me sick, he's done that before when he's been sick too. But she didn't text him as often when I was there this time. But we were sitting on the couch and she texted both of us and he said "is she texting you again?" and I said "ya" and then I explained how she asked me if I'd be okay with just them seeing a movie the other day and he said "oh, yeah she asked me about that. I told her I didn't think you'd be comfortable with that" and said "ya, and that's what I told her too". Then I told him how she texted me yesterday asking if I knew any single guys and she got my brother's number and texted him and how it freaked my brother out and how he thought she was crazy because she was saying things like "I love you. kiss me. go out with me!" and she never even met my brother before. My brother is my age since we are twins. I told my boyfriend that she's probably one of those girls who is desperate and would go after any guy regardless of their relationship status and he said to me "I can't see why she's single. I mean she's cute but even if I were single I wouldn't want that" which I was kind of thinking "what the hell"... But then later when we were eating dinner she texted him again and I assume she asked him what's up and he said out loud "well I don't want to say that you're here" and I got pretty mad and I said "WHY NOT?! I'm your girlfriend why wouldn't you be able to say I am with you right now?!" and he said "because then she'd say well why aren't you guys at my house" and then I just gave him sort of a pissed off look and he said "you know what, I'm done with lying" and then he could see that I wasn't too pleased so he then hugged me and told me that he loved me supposing that would "fix" what he had just said. But after that point I don't know what he said to her but she stopped texting him the rest of the night.

[girl68]

... until tomorrow.

[fi123]

That is just the funniest thing, she's never met her boyfriend personally but he lives around the area and she's too afraid to go to his house??? What is that all about? And does he never come out of his house so they could meet elsewhere?? That is just the strangest thing i have ever heard. I made a comment earlier about she might be nutjob...i think perhaps she is.

I think now he really has to tell her to leave you both alone, i think he needs to respect the fact that this is continuing to make you uncomfortable.

[Twiz]

There's no way that I think she is in any way mentally stable.
My brother stopped texting her and she kept texting me asking "why isn't he texting me back? I really like him, I really do." and other things like "I think people hate me that's why no one texts me". She told my boyfriend she took 3 pills today, one for depression, one for ADHD, and one for birth control. This girl is only 15 0_o

And I think you are right, he is not the one to be mean to anyone though and I know for a fact he even has a hard time telling his brother who is 11 if he is annoyed with him. But I think he should respect my feelings towards it all and even if he is trying to make new friends, which I can understand and am ok if he wants some new friends, but this situation is just awkward and inappropriate.

[fi123]

I feel very sorry for her to be honest, she's a bit pathetic, but she is very young i didn't realise how young she is. However, you're never too young to be a bunny boiler. She just seems so incredibly needy.

She'll grow up eventually i guess, but she has to learn about boundaries and respect at some point.

Even at 15 i know for sure i would never have crossed the boundaries that she has done with someone else's boyfriend.

I hope she's in therapy.

[Twiz]

I feel a bit sorry for her too because she doesn't seem very happy. But at the same time I can't help that I am uncomfortable that she wants to hang out alone with my boyfriend and constantly texts him.

[fi123]

Poor girl. Maybe she doesn't get a lot of love at home, who knows.

Still she has to learn respect.

Have you tried telling her yourself to, with respect, back off?

Myself i can actually be quite feisty once i've had enough and i'd tell her to shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

I know really it's your boyfriends job, but maybe he feels sorry for her too and maybe is just not mature enough to do the decent thing for the sake of your relationship.

[Twiz]

I actually haven't tried telling her.
Trust me, I wanted to tell her to shove it but then I didn't want to seem like a complete bitch because she seems really sensitive and maybe she is just a bit naive and doesn't understand or realize that it's inappropriate to want to be alone with someone else's boyfriend, but at the same time that could be complete shit and she very much could be aware that it is. I'm not her, I don't know what she truly intends or thinks in this situation but I know it's not exactly right so I really do need to address it more. And I think my boyfriend could feel a bit sorry for her too. And I think he is fairly mature to an extent but there's definitely more he has to learn and handle in a better manner, such as something like this.... This is honestly his first real relationship.

[IndiReloaded]

I feel a bit sorry for her too because she doesn't seem very happy. But at the same time I can't help that I am uncomfortable that she wants to hang out alone with my boyfriend and constantly texts him.

There was a thread a couple months ago with a gal whose BF had attracted a stalkerish 'friend' similar to this girl you are dealing with. Search for the thread, I gave some advice on how to handle her that is similar to what I think you should do. In that case, the stalker woman was 35 (sadly, she was behaving like a 15 year old). You can also read up how it all ended.

[Twiz]

Do you recall the name of the thread at all or which section it was in on the forum?

[IndiReloaded]

Hang on, I'll do a search.

Here:
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/43425-sick.html[/url]

[Twiz]

Thank you! I read the whole thing.
The situation is very similar except this is a girl my boyfriend just met last week and despite the age differences this girl acts almost exactly the same with the constant texting and wanting to see him!
It's like I want to bring up to my boyfriend that it makes me unhappy that she constantly texts him and that he doesn't want to be rude so he replies but at the same time I feel like I've brought it up a few times now and I don't want to aggravate him or frustrate him anymore than he probably already is. I have brought it up a few times and so has his mother that this girl and the situation isn't really normal. My boyfriend said he wouldn't date this girl even if he was single (even if he still said she was cute, and she really isn't a bad looking girl, she's just a little seemingly unstable on various levels). I thought about it and he actually does seem a little frustrated with the whole situation. He is just trying to make new friends and I think he is just trying to be nice and doesn't want to be rude to her. Hence why he possibly didn't want to say I was with him tonight because she is so sensitive regardless if she knows I am his girlfriend it'd probably make her feel bummed out or "excluded" from something since we haven't yet hung out with her like we had planned the other day. I also thought again about when she texted him tonight... now that I think of it he didn't answer the texts as fast as he once did with her before and when we were eating and his phone went off he checked his phone, put it back in his pocket and didnt reply to her message. She then texted him a few minutes later and which he proclaimed, "I didn't even respond to her last text and she texted me again!" and then he seemed a little frustrated then he replied to her sencond text and then he set his phone on the opposite side of the table and continued eating. She sent him another text and he said to me (since I was standing next to his phone on the other side of the table where he placed it) "don't answer that". So I think he may be becoming a bit annoyed as well.

My boyfriend and I are supposed to hang out with her this weekend and see a movie. I plan on being extra close to my boyfriend the whole night too.
Maybe I shouldn't bring this issue up to him so often or if at all anymore since I don't want to seem insecure, bitchy, and controlling and I am hoping in time that my boyfriend will continue to realize her constant texting and asking to hang out is not normal (or it's annoying) and that something just isn't right about it all regardless of if he feels bad for her or just wants to be her friend.

[Twiz]

Problem solved!
I still never met this girl and never will...
We were supposed to hang out with her but as we were about to leave to walk to her house his mom stopped us and said it's way too far of a walk so my boyfriend and I just went to the movies that night instead.
Then I hung out with him a couple days after that happend and she texted him while we were watching a movie later that night. She told him that he's cute and that she was jealous of me because I'd always be around him. At that point my boyfriend looked at me and told me that was a huge red flag and that he understood what I was talking about and that he's done with talking to her.