How not to hurt her too much

[Petit Papillon]

YEAH but it only means he never loved her anyway. he's being called a jerk because he decided to throw her to the trash just because she's not 100% working. It's like someone would dump you just because you have too big ears. So yeah he has a right to leave her (he even should for her sake) but it doesn't change the fact that he's a ****ing douchebag.

[to-cinderella]

So much hostility for so little reason. "to-cinderella" You are right I don't love her enough to look past the fact that I can't have my OWN children with her. I don't think I could ever love someone enough to forgive something so big like this. Even if I start being an asshole to her she will know that I dumped her because she can't have children. For crying out loud she is a lawyer she isn't stupid she can connect the dots together.

well, you can forgive somebody for something which was done on purpose... with a specific goal... i dont see the need for you to forgive her... to bad that she is the reason you cant have own children... what do you think her reaction would be, if that was your fault and she were ok? Have you thought about this situation, do you think she would also break up with you? or would you be brave enough to tell her: o let you go, find youself a man who can give a child? i dont think so...

[vashti]

So much hostility for so little reason. "to-cinderella" You are right I don't love her enough to look past the fact that I can't have my OWN children with her.

You haven't addressed why you are opposed to seeking help with a fertility specialist. They WOULD use your sperm, so the child would be yours.

I don't think I could ever love someone enough to forgive something so big like this.

What a weird thing to say...

[oneandonly]

You haven't addressed why you are opposed to seeking help with a fertility specialist. They WOULD use your sperm, so the child would be yours.



What a weird thing to say...

Indeed.... what's there to 'forgive'?

[dewilliams2]

Don't worry Smithy...I "forgive" you for being an enormous d-bag.

[SirWagginston]

Do you live under a ****ing rock, or something? You've heard of modern science, right? Why are you actively ignoring all the posters here telling you that it's possible to have genetic offspring in other ways? I think this thread needs to stop until there's an answer to this. We're skipping over an extremely important detail that could make your current dilemma evaporate.

[smithy]

What other possible treatments are there? I don't know of any? If someone can suggest anything I will be more then happy to explore the possibilities. I took the doctors word to be "end all be all" as he was highly recommended by a few other people. Also if there was somwthing that we could have used wouldn't the doctors have told us already by now? I thought about it 3 years is a lot of time to thorw away I am not keen on this relationship to end but I will end it if I have to.

[Nomie]

I think that's where the problem started by not saying anything to her about your feelings. Maybe if you told her the way go on how do you feel about her not being able to conceive your child just maybe wouldn't be that difficult. Of course is not going to be easy on her no matter which way you are telling her.
I would suggest that you be ohnest with her. You must also remember that is the only God who has a power to determine who can and cannot have a children, even dr's are human being? just be careful on that. Miracles do happened my brother.

[Doc Durian]

Did he just use that word??

[Lipp]

I think that the end point is that you can't let someone go without "hurting her too much" when it's for such a reason, no wonder how you wrap it - unless of course you lie.

And then of course the whole thing about how a committed relationship would be expecting at least an attempt to either accept or circumvent the problem.

[SirWagginston]

What other possible treatments are there? I don't know of any? If someone can suggest anything I will be more then happy to explore the possibilities. I took the doctors word to be "end all be all" as he was highly recommended by a few other people. Also if there was somwthing that we could have used wouldn't the doctors have told us already by now? I thought about it 3 years is a lot of time to thorw away I am not keen on this relationship to end but I will end it if I have to.

Do you watch the news, ever? You live in a first world country with access to the fruits of modern science; there are lots of things you can do. Here are a couple:

[url=http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipstipscouplesinfertility/assisted-conception/what-is-in-vitro-fertilization-ivf/]In Vitro Fertilization[/url]

[URL="http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-surrogate-mother.htm"]Surrogate Motherhood[/URL]

In fact, this field is developing so rapidly that I can't be bothered to list them all for you. If you want to learn about technologies that are available or soon to be available (which you should, if you love your partner), read [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infertility#Treatment"]this[/URL].

[Neomic]

You sound like an arrogant, selfish prick. It's all about you, and how you feel. You can't forgive her because she can't have a child? What the hell is there to forgive? It's not her fault!

As it's been mentioned numerous times through-out this thread, there are plenty of alternatives. SirWagginston posted a few, I'm sure you could find tons of others if you do your research.

[dewilliams2]

My parents had trouble conceiving...it had something to do with my mom...I never asked what but all I know is I am the product of assisted conception...I'm 23...the technology has been around for awhile.

[Krissykris]

WOW. I can't believe you're this selfish! Your parents should be slapped in the face for raising a brat. Jesus christ man! If her leg got cut off from a horrible accident you'de probably dump her too, cause you'de want to walk faster then she could.

All I have to say is, karma's a bitch. Hopefully you get kicked in the sac so hard YOU can't have kids and no woman should be with you can you can't conceive.

[SirWagginston]

I don't think all of the attacks on his personal character are warranted. I want my children (in distant, distant future) to be biological, as well, and if I were as ignorant as the OP, I would be thinking the same thing. I'm actually more disgusted that someone can get an engineering degree without knowing what artificial insemination is. How do you pass such a hard program without having as much initiative as it takes to look up "infertility" on Wikipedia? I would have been researching my fiance's condition down to the finest detail. It seems like the OP must have lost hope and just given up, or something. Show some mental fortitude.