A Guy's Career

[Cybog]

wow, i totally believe in the EXACT opposite of what you just said,

i believe love can be endless, until your dying days, and money CANNOT buy anything (i.e love)

if money buys love, then i don't think the love is real, the love is instead, based on currency (a piece of paper)

i believe money is not real. if you believe money is real, and continue your entire lives to 'accumulate' something that doesn't matter as much as life and love, then you must be a lost cause. (this is just my opinion)

These are common words from single virgins.

People who "get it" realize that love and romance and all that crap are garbage once you have moved on in life and matured a few years. It's not about love and schmut, its about finding someone who can put up with your shit and who doesn't drive you crazy after 5-10-30 years.

you know i was having a discussion with a friend about this. (male). he told me that he didn't want to get into a relationship with anybody because he wanted to finish school and find a good job and all that first. he brought up an interestiing piont. he said that everybody in his family had married the first person they were with and have no education, live in a small town, struggle to get by, etc. and he didn't want that for himself or his future partner. i thought this was very commendable. love is important, but moving up in life is too.

This is almost exactly how I see it. I did the dumbass "Get married for LOOOVVEE!! We can MAKE this work....!!!" nonsense once before. That lasted all of about 3 years and then I caught her sleeping with another man.

Currently? I have been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years now and I still have my own place. I go to school fulltime and work fulltime to pay my bills. Do I think for a second that "Love will conquer all!" in life?

Hell no.

The only thing that conquers all in life is what you put into it. You can romance your ass all the way to the ghetto while I am getting where I want to be and not being slowed down by some broad.

Marriage and love isn't about who can love each other the most right now. It's about who still loves the other person 20 years from now. And if you are a lazy slob who sits around on your ass thinking that love will conquer anything, think again. 10 years from now when you are both completely sick of each other because the other turned out a fat lazy failure, you will have nothing but regret.

Make something of yourself, and then make something "extra special" of the relationship. The #1 cause of contention in relationships is financial. Guess why that is. Because dumbshits didn't do anything for themselves, got married, and now they can't do shit because they have 2.4 kids and a mortgage to deal with.

You do the math.

[TAVS]

Just cause you're jaded doesn't mean everyone is. You got burned, bummer for you.

[Lloyd95]

Just cause you're jaded doesn't mean everyone is. You got burned, bummer for you.

But TAVS, some people here are just too idealistic. yes, love is great; but ask someone who has been in a relationship then all of a sudden had money problems. It's stressful. It takes it's toll.

Theoritically, love should concur all; realistically....uh-uh.

[Tone]

Like Zekk said, it's all about balancing the two.

The original question wasn't about "Should you be all about love or all about money" it was "Should your job ever take precedence over your SO?" (correct me if I'm wrong)

And MY OPINION is simply - no. It never has and it never will.

[indigosoul]

Indigo! Where've you been? I've missed reading your posts and wondered whatever happended to you. I hope all is well, and that you'll be coming around now and again...

All is well. Been finding my centre again. Will come back occasionally for a good topic.

[indigosoul]

It's not about love and schmut, its about finding someone who can put up with your shit and who doesn't drive you crazy after 5-10-30 years.

This, and to be more specific, its being able to deal w/the fact that they WILL drive you crazy. The fact that they will is a given. Most ppl couldn't live w/a clone of themselves w/o driving themselves crazy, much less another person.

The #1 cause of contention in relationships is financial.

Its actually poor communication that causes most problems. The $$ thing is just the most common topic, but not the underlying problem. Learn to communicate well, and find a partner who can (or who can learn) communicate with you and you stand a much better chance of a successful, longterm relationship.

[Illusional]

Play now, play later.

that's exactly how i think.

raverboy

[Chlorine]

Misombra-----“love is important, but moving up in life is too.”
Indigosoul----“If you have money, then you HAVE choice as to how you raise your children, manage your relationships, or whatever. “
Cybog-----“The #1 cause of contention in relationships is financial. “
Tone----“"Should your job ever take precedence over your SO?" (correct me if I'm wrong)”

Varied responses all apply. I just wonder why some men are so focused on moving on up (misombra's), think that pots of money will bring a smorgasbord of choices (indigo's), and that being financially secure will solve everything (Cybog).

All this focus on money, status, and making it. To the extent of putting a perfectly good relationship on the back burner (Tone).

[shh!]

Chlorine - misombra and indigo are women, so I think we are evenly divided. I suggest we are divided more along age demographics.

[Chlorine]

shh!----Was looking at the issue from a single's point of view.

[shh!]

Ah, my mistake then. I thought you were assuming that it was only men who found it important to move up...

[RSK]

These are common words from single virgins.

People who "get it" realize that love and romance and all that crap are garbage once you have moved on in life and matured a few years. It's not about love and schmut, its about finding someone who can put up with your shit and who doesn't drive you crazy after 5-10-30 years.

I Like! I never saw it from that angle. I guess the glass was half empty after all.

[misombra]

love and family is good and all, but i think for women it's more important than ever to have her own money, her own status in the world. in my grandmother and mother's generation it was normal to marry a nice boy when you were 18 and have a bunch of kids and stay home and do that. then the divorce rate started climbing and more and more women found themselves alone raising children with no job experience or education. i don't know how it is in other cultures but that's how it is in mine. get married right away and serve your man. my mother did it and wound up with a big house and two girls to take care of once my dad decided he didn't want to be married anymore. that is sad. i'm determined not to go there.

i think it depends on your perspective.

this leads me to an interesting question. why do you think that people that live in the poorest countries have the most children?

[bluesummer]

this leads me to an interesting question. why do you think that people that live in the poorest countries have the most children?

It differs. Lack of sexual education (or just education in general). Or it can be religious....some religions and cultures forbid birth control or abortion, and you will usually find the most religious among the poorest. Sad.

[Lloyd95]

this leads me to an interesting question. why do you think that people that live in the poorest countries have the most children?

They can't afford birth control?

They have nothing better to do except have sex?