In love with a older married woman

[Cybog]

haha....How pathetic it must be in life to be such a sucker.

And not only that, but you have convinced yourself you are "In Love" with this woman, as if you had any smidgen of an idea what Love is.

You have been used like a cheap car. Move on in life. And especially in this sad, sad situation.

[Leprechanus]

thanks for the encouragment there cybog......

[whaywardj]

Look at it this way, Lep: When you're 45, she'll be 62. When you're 55, she'll be 72. Does that help?

[Ellynn]

Look at it this way, Lep: When you're 45, she'll be 62. When you're 55, she'll be 72. Does that help?

Well honestly age isn't the big issue here. Even though its not the norm to society.....but if the situation were reversed and he was a 42 yr old man with a 25 yr old women....people wouldn't think twice.

The issue is the fact that she is married and shes not willing to sacrafice her marriage for the fling she had with this guy. Also.....the issue is that he thought that by sleeping w/ her it would guarantee something. And considering it was his first...and that he held out for so long.....he assumes that they are gonna be together. The poor guy has to realize that things happen......and there are no guarantees....and that he needs to get over this....because the fact is that shes not gonna drop everything to be with him. She may have sex w/ him on the side....but to her its probably just sex. I mean a newer younger guy comes along. That is probably how she sees it. SHe may have told him all the bs stuff like she loves him etc.....but honestly she is not feeling love if shes sticking in her marriage. It was lust. It happens.

I mean yeah ideally it would be nice to skip all the sex w/ ex's and skip right to the person I'm gonna actually end up with for the long haul.....but realistically that doesn't happen. It's all a learning experience. There are no guarantees.....I cannot stress this enough. He needs to move on. THe more he sticks w/ this woman the more emotionally attached and psycho hes gonna get...

[whaywardj]

I agree with you wholeheartedly, Ellynn. I was just trying to give the guy a little more motivation to put out his pipe dreams and move on. And, yes: By and large, age differences don't much matter...UNTIL the physical characteristics attending the differences become more pronounced over time.

Though it is true that love CAN conquer all, the mere physical limitations a 72 year-old experiences can quite handily cramp the style of a 55 year-old...whichever gender is whichever age. And THAT can contribute mightily to mutual discontents of which both might want to wash their hands.

On the other hand, avowing a life long love for a 72 year-old man or woman doesn't take much doing considering the odds are either will be dead inside five years. So, there could be some advantages, I suppose, to extreme May-December relationships. Especially if one is financially well-off and the other isn't.

[aloha22]

I have to ask, no matter how harsh it might sound. Have you asked this woman how many men she has slept with? Because, as you have pointed out, Leprechanus, sex is something very special to you, (as it is with all of us ) and you wanted to save it for someone that you would spend the rest of your life with. Now she has been married twice and slept with you, so that makes three partners that the rest of us are aware of. Has she had other afairs, or sex with other men even outside of a marriage relationship?

My point it: this could be something to consider. She might not share the same strong respect and values for her sex life that you possess. I'm certainly not trying to bash her, just saying that if she's acting promiscuous in her marriage, she could be doing this regularly in her life- which I don't think is something you would want to be involved in.

[shh!]

Aloha - "mormon mecca" made me giggle...

[paulpearl]

love can be so complicated?
i feel i am still young to fall in into it.

[AdminOnline]

Thread moved to "Dating talk" .