weddings and marriage

[blue]

Yes We Are!!!!! Umm Wheres Illusional

[artyemi]

yea.. i think he started happy hour a wee bit too early

[misombra]

far beyond the nuisances of mere practicalities and off into the deep, dark and slippery realms of what I and my s/o are REALLY saying -- to ourselves, to each other, our peers, and our community

thanks, that's what i really want to hear...

"for better or worse" part of it.

is that really all it boils down to? how many conditions and expectations you're willing to remove from a person?

two people aren't wrapped up gazing at each other, but looking outward and forward in the same directions together

that's great.

i guess i wonder sometimes how someone is supposed to see that far into the future and determine that they will spend the rest of their lives with that one person? can you see it or is it more of a leap of faith?

i'd also like to know how many of you have dreamed all your lives of your wedding day.

and yes we are a bunch of alchies. and it's friday so it's fresh on our minds.

[shh!]

It's definitely a leap of faith, and I was probably one of the few females in the world who didn't dream about a big wedding day...

[Tone]

I think it could be because today it's not as meaningful as it was years back... back when divorce was a very rare thing. These days the divorce rate is so high and there are so many broken homes I can see why a lot of little girls might not be growing up dreaming of their big wedding day when all mommy and daddy do is fight and then daddy moves out and they hear mommy use the word "divorce".

People get married too quickly and don't take it seriously.

[whaywardj]

Agreed, Tone. And it's very definitely a leap of faith, misombra. That, to me, is primarily where the "for better or worse" part comes into play most signifcantly. Not that any conditions or expectations are to be removed or imposed; nor what they may or may not be; not even that any do or don't exist. But that whatever they are and whatever their status may be, I can have faith that both I and my partner will do whatever it takes to not let concerns or problems cause us to lose sight of what we love in each other, and continue.

[whaywardj]

PS: For your info, all, I am a RECOVERING alchie...unlike the rest of YOU, evidently.

[AcidLacedKunt69]

i plan on getting married when im 18 right off the beach of where i met the man im marrying, it will be a "small" wedding nothing to fancy very cute no more then 80 people.

[misombra]

thanks hayward.

thanks tone... it's true people get married too soon and they discover that they didn't really know what they were getting into. my parents divorced before i turned a year old so i think maybe that's why my idea of marriage is a bit skewed.

[whaywardj]

My parents never got married. My dad gave my mom so many black eyes she finally shot his toe off by way of proving she could aim a pistol...in case she might have to again in their future. Magically, there were no more black eyes. I don't know what's worse. Living as a kid through your parents staying together when they shouldn't, or living through their not when they might could have, if only they'd worked at it a little harder.

[boobaa]

I think, one day, if it ever happens, I will marry, but I don't like big ceremonies and stuff, I would like to share my marriage only with the closest ones, thats all. No big weddings, or no weddings at all. But woman must be baptizized, I think. At least I am baptizized and I am proud of it, and maybe I am going to marry in church also, even I am not religious. Maybe I am, but not in the way the churs tells me, nobody is going to tell me what my beliefs are or should be.

And all those "just turned 18 and going to marry" people, have you ever thought about that maybe this is the reason why there are too many divorces?.
It makes me sad. People marry too early and missing some life pleasures, then, they are going to feel the need of filling those missed pleasures later, there comes divorce.
There is a saying, that the first one always gets separated, sooner or later.

People don't have enough experience and they only think that they want marriage, but they don't actually know it. Many young people haven't gone through many problems and that causes the unknowness causing those illusions of ever lasting marriage. Maybe 18 year old doesn't even know what it is to live full life alone with someone, yeah, it is an easy life when parents pay for your high school, apartment etc. For women, it is easy life if you live in your boyfriends place without worring about it. Worries cause problems and quarrel. And also, 18 year old may not be used with quarrels and so comes divorce.
If you don't have enough life experience, then you probably won't be able to solve all problems and quarrels. And divorce usually comes because something is unsolved, why is it unsolved? People too young and stupid to solve those things?

[Clifton]

maybe one day, 10 or so years from now, id consider it again, i havent met a woman i can trust so i dont think i want to **** up my credit for years to come

[whitedragon20na]

I really believe in marriage. Small kind of wedding with family and friends only. Preferably in a church of course.
However I believe that you shouldn't get married until you KNOW that it's right, and your s/o knows it too.
You should never marry for money, social status or any other reason that's not unconditional love. (that's my opinion)

[misombra]

thanks boobaa. you may take this badly but that's the smartest thing i've read from you so far. and i agree with you.

[Asip4u]

yea, i agree too misombra...sometimes he seems all over the place but i applaud him for those comments.