My girlfriends past disturbs me

[haxan]

My main point is just that I am disappointed in that guy for treating her how he did, but ultimately disappointed in her that she let him and didn't leave sooner... That's the part I don't understand, I thought she would have been smarter that's all.

A lot of women (and men) are emotional cripples and doormats. You don't have to be a white knight to every cute one that you find. An attractive, bright, well adjusted woman who's made good decisions in her life isn't the easiest thing in the world to find. Either accept her for who she is or keep looking.

[lowesick]

may be she has told you this because she has some internal guilt.. and by confessing it to you, she might has gotten rid of that guilt.. if you accept her past.. Excellent!!! if you can't accept it... let her go.. but at this point breaking up with her.. would even damage her more!!!! it would increase her inner guilt.. but if you accept her with all that happened in the past, she will respect you even more than before and will also get out of her inner unconscious guilt, that actually forced her to tell you everything that happened in the past...
She is not that smart ass... i think she really is an innocent soul!!!!

[smackie9]

Well thanks for the opinions guys/gals I guess I don't understand it very well as I've never had a shoddy past to that degree.

My main point is just that I am disappointed in that guy for treating her how he did, but ultimately disappointed in her that she let him and didn't leave sooner... That's the part I don't understand, I thought she would have been smarter that's all.

Shit happens because life happens. She obviously learned something from it or she wouldn't be dating you but some old and abusive dude.

[Cerby]

Well thanks for the opinions guys/gals I guess I don't understand it very well as I've never had a shoddy past to that degree.

My main point is just that I am disappointed in that guy for treating her how he did, but ultimately disappointed in her that she let him and didn't leave sooner... That's the part I don't understand, I thought she would have been smarter that's all.

She made the decisions she did. Judging her on them now isn't fair. You have to accept them as they are, or leave it, but don't drag her through the mud. This is completely about you and nothing about her right now, you accept it for what it is or you don't.

[Best man]

Thanks guys, lots of good answers which have helped me, she still talked to this person for a while after the relationship, but she has now cut all ties after he asked her for sleazy pictures whilst living with his latest partner, that also irked me, the guy clearly has issues yet she continued to talk to him even after moving out his house... I found that difficult to comprehend

[smackie9]

Thanks guys, lots of good answers which have helped me, she still talked to this person for a while after the relationship, but she has now cut all ties after he asked her for sleazy pictures whilst living with his latest partner, that also irked me, the guy clearly has issues yet she continued to talk to him even after moving out his house... I found that difficult to comprehend

Love is that blind to some people. If it weren't true we would all be out of a job on here.

[bcgirl]

You can't change the past. Everyone of us has dealt with things from our past that we can look back when we are older and may have had some regrets. Most everyone has had a bad relationship that they have hopefully learnt from. It's good that she has shared her past with you, it shows she entrusts in you. But sometimes, too much details about an ex should be left as skeletons in the closet and never revealed to your current bf. she should talk to a therapist about these things, you aren't her therapist. You should tell her to not bring up her ex to you, it aint your problem. too much info such as types of sexual positions like anal etc may be a bit too much to have to hear. I'm sure she wouldn't like hearing all about all your previous sexual escapades with Sally, Suzy and Sam. If you don't think you can mentally get over the fact that she dated a much older man and has too much scars from it, then perhaps it's best you don't go down that path. Perhaps you should find another woman that's not so "damaged", but as you get older you will find a lot of ppl will bring their past "baggage" into the current relationships. In today's world, it's not uncommon to meet others who have been divorced, have children etc. that is "baggage" as well.