Scared she's going to hurt me

[xxazurexx]

Oh puleassse. You are still in the 'honeymoon' stage....it's all 'newfangle' and she aint bored with you yet.

Sorry, I felt sick when you describe it....always a big happy smile on her face, the same interests, happiest christmas ever, her parents think the sun shines out your arse, blah, blah...and all built on betrayal and at the expense of someones else misery and unhappiness. Don't you think she would have did and said all the same shit to her ex too, lol. She had probably never met anyone like him either, a few months ago and that she'd never break his heart either.

Makes me wonder had this guy been closer to home, who she'd have settled for....don't you ever wonder that?

Or don't you wonder if she will sleep with one of her other males friends....and oops dear, sorry I made a mistake, it's you I love really.

You aint nothing special....but time will prove it.

[dan2k7]

Azure is right, 1 year is not a long time to be in a relationship nevermind a serious one. If you are seriously this worried about her cheating on you then cut the strings now before your paranoia ruins the relationship. I understand why you feel the way you do, am sure most of us have been there but its not worth the stress, accusations and friction this will create when she returns home.

[xxazurexx]

^The last thing he will do is end it.

He's far too hung up on Miss Golden Pussy....and ignores the red flags that wave high and proudly.

[dan2k7]

I agree, sadly most of us have to find out for ourselves before we will listen.

[xxazurexx]

Yes....and then we wish we had taken notice of those wiser and who have been in such situations, that they usually know what they are talking about.

[akman123]

Your right I won't cut strings now, In 2 weeks time I’ll decide if I should leave her, I can't leave her now based on something that hasn't even happened, my thoughts play out the scenario but whether they will actually happen is a different matter , don't we all say what if sometimes?. I’ll know if she's cheated. I think this is the biggest test of her infidelity or commitment to me, I feel it'll either destroy what we have or strengthen it. I thank you for all your advice and understand how many of you may be frustrated with me as you will know a lot more about this than me, but that’s why I came on here. I am very grateful for you listening, thankyou.

[dan2k7]

I am more concerned about how much your mind will be going overtime at the moment with these 'what ifs' and the different scenarios you are playing out in your head. Its clear you don't trust her properly, so why carry on the relationship? Of course its your life and entirely your decision but it is not a lot of fun always wondering what your spouse is up to when they go away. Say she doesn't cheat on this occasion but goes away with her girlies for a holiday abroad are you going to be completely relaxed about that?

[akman123]

I have never had reason to not trust her in the year we've been together other than that she cheated in her last relationship, but she hasn't cheated on me and i know she hasn't, she's been on holidays with her friends before and it's never once got to me, it's just this guy she's off on holiday with is an old flame from 2 years ago and i know he'll be trying everything to get with her, i've told her this and that's my concern that he won't leave her alone, she's told me it was nothing and it's over and he won't be like that but i just don't know.

[xxazurexx]

Why is she off on holiday with him and if it upsets you this much?

If a partner of mine was upset because I was about to go off on holiday where an ex would be, I wouldn't go and out of respect for my partner. WTF do I wanna be in the company of exes for and on holiday in their presence??

[akman123]

she's off with 5 people, 3 guys and 2 girls, they used to work together at a surfing beach club and there off surfing, i was okay with it at first but randomly asked her if she'd ever done anything with any of the guy's she's going with and she said she slept with one of them once when she was drunk but she was single and it meant nothing, i told her i wasn't happy and she asked me what i wanted her to do, i told her i didn't know but that i wasn't happy and she told me there was nothing to worry about there just friends and it was just one drunken night 2yrs ago and she said it was a mistake. she could have told me nothing had ever happened and i'd have never known any better, but she was honest with me, she asked me if i expected her to lie to me because she said she can't lie.

[akman123]

i think i owe you all an apology, she cheated with her friend three times while they were away, i managed to get it out of her when i realised something wasn't right with her, i've shown her the door and slammed it behind her, but i still love her.

[xxazurexx]

i think i owe you all an apology, she cheated with her friend three times while they were away, i managed to get it out of her when i realised something wasn't right with her, i've shown her the door and slammed it behind her, but i still love her.

What a fcking bitch!!! Sorry to hear this.

Been there, done that and it isn't a nice place to be....it SUCKS!! BUT, we do eventually get over it and we learn lessons from it!

Sorry again to hear this

And DON'T take her back...she has proven more than 'once' that she's a cheat and that type DOESN'T change.

[akman123]

i just don't know what im supposed to do or how to bare it, a part of me still wants her but another part of me feels ill and sick, no sleep for me tonight

[SelflessnHumble]

Your 1st mistake was to get with a girl who was already involved with another dude
(whether or not it was emotional OR physical based) <-------Is irrelevant...

It says a lot about your character as it does, about her own. You actually CHEATED and helped her cheat on her boyfriend: it makes you a piece of shit (no offense) just like her.

So, you don't want to worry about her doing to you what you already helped her do to another guy? Really? I mean, what planet are you on?

You can't spell belief without a LIE, k?
Hopefully you learn how to respect people (as well as yourself) and won't depend on other people validating your confidence, or taking it away with drunken sex that "oops, just happened."

Choose better partners and this ghetto shit won't happen.

[Kaius]

i think i owe you all an apology, she cheated with her friend three times while they were away, i managed to get it out of her when i realised something wasn't right with her, i've shown her the door and slammed it behind her, but i still love her.

Oh gosh I'm sorry to hear it! If she can't even behave herself for 2 weeks, it's better that you break it off. Before reading your last post, I was going to defend her, as cheating isn't necessarily a pattern. Women in happy relationships don't cheat, unless there is something really wrong with them. If she felt so badly the last time she cheated, I figured you would know right away when she came back. Apparently you did. I know it hurts, but you are lucky it she didn't turn you into a chump.