Did she overreact?

[smackie9]

You are not getting it. It's not about SOMETHING happening. It's about you and him sharing intimate time of consoling, closeness that should be only shared between the two of them. Like I said that's the way life is in the adult world of relationships. Best friends have to part, everyone must move on. Sorry but he is choosing to accept his GFs wishes. You have to keep your distance. And no you don't have no rights to him over his significant other. This is a girl he is in love with....she takes precedence over you and over his other friends and sometimes even family. As you get older you will be seeing more of this happening. In a nut shell she doesn't want to share her BF with some other girl. It's a fact of life I had to face myself.

[girl68]

If I came home to that I'd be very unhappy. But I also wouldn't have freaked the hell out (maybe later but maybe not as bad still). You can comfort someone sure, but sitting close with an arm around you- not cool. And why wasn't I aware that you were over and in a mess (no offense). I'd just saying I'd like my guy to have let me know so and so is here and she's sad becasue her breakup blahblah. Basically a heads up would have been nice...

[hello1]

I would freak if I came home and saw my boyfriend and his female friend like that! I do not blame her for making him cut contact from you. Do not mess with another girl boyfriend. Seriously that is what female friends and family is for. You wouldn't like it, why do it to another female?

[warriormaiden]

A. I don't have too many female friends. And I don't like sharing my troubles with my family.
B. I've known him since I was 15, and she has only known him for a couple of months.

If I knew my boyfriend and a really good girl pal of his were close, if I saw how they interacted with my own eyes, I wouldn't think anything of it. She has seen, many of times, how me and her boyfriend behave around each other and around others in our clique. We don't even touch each other, unless we're distributing playful pain. That hug was in a moment of emergency.
I would never push away my friends nor family, just because my significant other was feeling a bit left out. Because we could always break up. Good friends and family are there for you, forever. I hate to say it, but if you're not married, that other person is expendable.

She's calmed down a bit, and has accepted my offer for lunch tomorrow. We shall see how this goes.

[Gratedwasabi]

Just to sum up what I think are the main points/concerns with that situation.

1. The closeness was probably too much. I know you just wanted to be consoled but your friend is in a relationship and should have known better then to get all snuggly. Even the appearance of impropriety can be damning.

2. It sounds like your friend didn't shoot a text or something to his girlfriend to let her know you were over and having a hard time. She might still have been pissed but not as much as seemingly catching you two in an inappropriate situation.

3. I'm not really sure there's much you can do. The only way to salvage it is probably to try and arrange for coffee with the girlfriend and apologize and explain that you only see him as a brother and just were in a bad spot and maybe handled it badly. Unless you have a face to face with her, you're probably screwed as far as an active friendship with the guy.

*edit* And you got there 2 minutes ahead of me. Well damn. Also, if you ever feel the need to just screw some dude to feel better about yourself.. I'm available for appointments.

[girl68]

Can you just attempt to see if from how a few ladies have seen it? You don't have to agree with any one of us, you just can't be close mided to how SHE sees it.

Suck up some pride and assure her you're not after anything and you respect the relationship blah blah blah. Hopefully she'll suck some pride up and apologize for being a bit of a nut!

[smackie9]

A. I don't have too many female friends. And I don't like sharing my troubles with my family.
B. I've known him since I was 15, and she has only known him for a couple of months.

If I knew my boyfriend and a really good girl pal of his were close, if I saw how they interacted with my own eyes, I wouldn't think anything of it. She has seen, many of times, how me and her boyfriend behave around each other and around others in our clique. We don't even touch each other, unless we're distributing playful pain. That hug was in a moment of emergency.
I would never push away my friends nor family, just because my significant other was feeling a bit left out. Because we could always break up. Good friends and family are there for you, forever. I hate to say it, but if you're not married, that other person is expendable.

The deal is she's giving him sex...sex rules over most things to a guy. Yer thinking like a girl....if you had a penis you may think differently. Guys get p ussy whipped very easily, your friend is no different. Two months, 2 weeks, it won't matter, they will side with the GF every time. Give her and him space for awhile to let things kool off between them because he is in the doghouse. Don't push it, just wait til the next time you see her, when you guy are hanging out with friends, pull her aside then.

The other poster is right, the guy should have given his GF a heads up on what was going on and possibly she wouldn't have reacted in such a manner. I think she was more pissed at him and not you.

When people start pairing up with someone special, you have to behave in a different matter from before out of respect for their relationship.

When you are madly in love with a guy, I'm pretty sure you will be feeling a twinge of jealousy too.

[warriormaiden]

Grated - If I'm in the mood for a good laugh, I'll give you a call. ;-)


It didn't go as nearly as bad as I thought it would.
I explained to her that I meant no disrespect towards their relationship, and that lately I have been going through a rough spell. I didn't go in to too much detail because I didn't want her to think I'm a loser, but I basically gave her some info on my past relationship and all that, and she actually became less frigid.
Apparently, her last three boyfriends all cheated on her and so she was thrown in to a bit of hysteria when she saw me with my friend, in the position that we were.

All in all, it went well.
I have my friend pass back.

[girl68]

attempt to befriend her as well.

[Gratedwasabi]

Grated - If I'm in the mood for a good laugh, I'll give you a call. ;-)

Apparently, her last three boyfriends all cheated on her and so she was thrown in to a bit of hysteria when she saw me with my friend, in the position that we were.

All in all, it went well.
I have my friend pass back.

...Your words sting deep, warrior. Deep.

[warriormaiden]

attempt to befriend her as well.

Wouldn't that be pushing it a bit?

[Cinnabella]

If your bf was like that to his friend I'm sure you won't be happy and you can't blame her or say you were innocent, don't talk but action. In any case they were in a relationship and why would you want to pop to his house and being alone there, lol, can't be in a coffee shop or public? She didn't do anything wrong on that, respect others mean respect yourself. You and him are friends not brothers by blood or whatever :-)