What the fcuk?!!!

[Perryville]

Sometimes guys are this way from birth. I was always smarter, faster, stronger, braver and better-looking than everybody else. This went on until I went to war, and realized that I didn't mean shit to those guys that were trying to shoot my dick off. Now I'm a far nicer person, and will actually listen to women (sometimes).

[CocoChanel]

Are you guys in couples therapy? If so take it up there, let the therapist set him start too.
If not it's a good time to start.
That "I've been in therapy longer" shit straight will not fly.

Somewhat. We both agreed that we would see a professional. I broke up with him back in August. And while we were broken up... he continued to go but I stopped. Now that we are back together... I'm starting back... but now he is just getting on my nerves with all this... "therapy shit". He is taking it wayyyyyyyyy too serious. "Baby let's try writing it down and reading them to one another without interrupting." UGH!!! ITS DRIVING ME UP THE DAMN WALL. He is just making all types of decisions without even talking to me first. He is just getting on my nerves. Point blank. He says that I am not trying hard enough.

[Perryville]

Well Coco, if he's in therapy and you're not, then probably you are in the wrong here, and maybe you SHOULD try harder. I think he's being very patient with you, and here you are giving him shit. You should take your pat on the head like a good girl and resolve to be a person more worthy of such a great guy.

[lahnnabell]

Hrm... maybe he feels that taking some of those steps will really help him, and he's trying to involve you. Do you think that maybe he sees his decision making as a positive? Like that he's being assertive? Since you call it "therapy shit" it doesn't sound like you are being very supportive at all. Then again, you could just be angry, as you said.

What exactly has he decided on without you? After you calm down a lot, collect your thoughts, and talk it out. Or bring it to your therapy session. I know you're really pissed, and it's good you came here to vent.

[CocoChanel]

Well Coco, if he's in therapy and you're not, then probably you are in the wrong here, and maybe you SHOULD try harder. I think he's being very patient with you, and here you are giving him shit. You should take your pat on the head like a good girl and resolve to be a person more worthy of such a great guy.

Maybe you should learn how to read before assuming that I am not a good girlfriend. Try that first ok?

[vashti]

I hate when people have been in therapy too long. It's like they lose the ability to converse like a normal person, using basic common sense.

I think I've asked you before coco - if things are bad enough that you actually have to suffer through this whole therapy routine, maybe you aren't a good match. Maybe you are trying to force a square peg into a round hole....

[CocoChanel]

Hrm... maybe he feels that taking some of those steps will really help him, and he's trying to involve you. Do you think that maybe he sees his decision making as a positive? Like that he's being assertive? Since you call it "therapy shit" it doesn't sound like you are being very supportive at all. Then again, you could just be angry, as you said.

What exactly has he decided on without you? After you calm down a lot, collect your thoughts, and talk it out. Or bring it to your therapy session. I know you're really pissed, and it's good you came here to vent.

It's both I think. Part of me is not being supportive and part of it is anger. He does think that everything he is doing is for positive reasons and thinks he is doing it to "help me". But my fiance has a history of double standards.

For example... He comes home from work... sometimes he is super moody and he is just mean and cold. No therapy shit then. But when I come home angry or upset he acts like I need an intervention. He always accuses me of being cold and says I am not affectionate. But he always says this when it's being done to him. When he does it to me... I'm supposed to be okay with it. Back then his excuse was, "Well if I'm in a bad mood, shut up and leave me the **** alone." now it's... "I'm just trying to let you know that I am not very happy. I need time alone."... Let me say that shit and I am every type of cold heart there is.

[CocoChanel]

I hate when people have been in therapy too long. It's like they lose the ability to converse like a normal person, using basic common sense.

I think I've asked you before coco - if things are bad enough that you actually have to suffer through this whole therapy routine, maybe you aren't a good match. Maybe you are trying to force a square peg into a round hole....

And you may be right because nothing I do is right. I admit... I do have issues and I need help... but now that he is further along in therapy than I am... he feels like I am not trying. But I am trying! It just takes me longer to get used to things. Plus Anako wants me to see who HE wants me to see. I refuse to go to that guy because he said something to me that made me uncomfortable. I tell him that today and he goes... you are uncomfortable around older men because of your past. You think everyone is looking at you strange.

[Perryville]

Coco, that post was tongue-in- cheek. I would bet that you are a marvelous GF, and that your BF is just a little full of himself, because of the fact that he's in therapy and you're not. He is kind of like a reformed smoker, being superior to a person , who still has the habit. A little smug.

[CocoChanel]

Coco, that post was tongue-in- cheek. I would bet that you are a marvelous GF, and that your BF is just a little full of himself, because of the fact that he's in therapy and you're not. He is kind of like a reformed smoker, being superior to a person , who still has the habit. A little smug.

You aren't getting it. I only stopped going to therapy when we broke up. When we got back together I started going back. But he thinks I'm not trying hard enough. This idiot took my engagement ring off my finger and says, "You can't wear this until you get better and start trying." What the hell is wrong with him?!

[lahnnabell]

It's both I think. Part of me is not being supportive and part of it is anger. He does think that everything he is doing is for positive reasons and thinks he is doing it to "help me". But my fiance has a history of double standards.

For example... He comes home from work... sometimes he is super moody and he is just mean and cold. No therapy shit then. But when I come home angry or upset he acts like I need an intervention. He always accuses me of being cold and says I am not affectionate. But he always says this when it's being done to him. When he does it to me... I'm supposed to be okay with it. Back then his excuse was, "Well if I'm in a bad mood, shut up and leave me the **** alone." now it's... "I'm just trying to let you know that I am not very happy. I need time alone."... Let me say that shit and I am every type of cold heart there is.

Coco, he is showing some prime examples of emotional abuse. My ex pulled this crap on me before I issued an ultimatum, then moved out. He would take his bad days out on me. He wouldn't talk about it though, he'd just start nitpicking at me. I felt wrong all the time and it began to wear down my self-confidence.

Many emotional abusers don't understand what it is they're doing. This is all they know and they have to be retaught how to interact with a loved one. Therapy is what he needs, most definitely. It's good that he's toned down his manner of expression, but it sounds as though he's still offending you.

[Heratriumphant]

I'm with Indi that may well be walk worthy.

His plan is exactly what? To threaten, blackmail and manipulate to into acting exactly the way he wants you to with no regard to how you actually feel?

Not kosher!

[Perryville]

If I were him, I would have handled it a little differently. This type of behavior is unacceptable to ANY person of spirit. Maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship?

[lahnnabell]

I'm with Indi that may well be walk worthy.

His plan is exactly what? To threaten, blackmail and manipulate to into acting exactly the way he wants you to with no regard to how you actually feel?

Not kosher!

Exactly. Emotional abuse. Coco, please look it up if you're unsure.

[CocoChanel]

No, I didn't auto walk because... I actually thought he was leaving me. When he did it... we were arguing and he says I'm not trying hard enough and blah blah blah. He had my goddaughter in the car, Johnathan was in the passenger seat (his best friend) and then he walked out. Later on that day... Johnathan comes to the house driving one of Anako's cars and says, "Anako wants me to come pick up some things." I didn't let his ass in but he was talking to me through the door. I never responded though. Anako comes home the same night. I was confused because I figured he had walked out on me. The next morning when I confront him about it he says, "I'm not leaving you. You must not want to marry me if you don't do well with therapy and get better. I did what I did because you are unfit and unwell." I ask him why he sent Johnathan to the house... he said, "Not to get my clothes... we left somethings we needed for the studio in the house Chanelle."

Oh and he had been having conversations with my mom and dad for a while about our goddaughter moving back in with them because he says I am unfit. Don't get me wrong... I understand he may have concerns about her and I agree. But he never talked to me about it. He just DID IT. Took her back. She is the only thing that is right in my life. I love her so much and it hurt when he did that because I have never but her in any danger and I take good care of her.