Feeling like an emotional retard?

[khyyy]

So I've been thinking a lot about this whole thing today because I had a pretty clear head all day for the first time in as long as I could recall. I feel like the only way to fix this is via a few key ingredients neither of which have to do with drugs, social workers or psychiatrists. I feel like what I truly need is simply a better social circle. Right now my entire social circle consists of about 3-4 people, and eventually it gets old always being around the same people every single day. It gets to the point where you don't even have fun anymore, you go over to your friends house and you end up just sitting there watching him play video games, or watch him fixing his computer.

I feel like I just need to get out more. The problem with this and like I have stated before is the whole being under 21 thing, and not getting along with anyone that is my own age. Everyone I like is usually 24-28. Therefore their idea of having a good time is going to Vegas for a week, going down to Atlantic City for a weekend, going out to the bar for a night etc. All of these things require you to be 21, and truthfully I don't feel I can wait another 11 months to be 21 without breaking down into a deep state of depression, and I don't want that to happen.

I know that I'm not actually depressed - yet. However I am well on my way there, I've pretty much started to turn the doorknob to the room of depression and I need to figure out how to let go of said knob. The problem is (and I'm not psychotherapist or anything) I feel like I have maybe... maybe a month to fix some things going on for me socially right now or I'm just going to fall apart one of these days. I really don't want to get to that point, I've had plenty of friends who went through serious bouts with depression and they all say the same thing "Man, once you become depressed it's the biggest uphill battle you'll ever have getting out of the depression." One of my friends explained it to me in the sense that, once you become depressed a few things happen to you. A) You cut off all contact with the outside world. B) You stop eating like your supposed to and C) You being pretty much a couch potato. He also explained what happens with these in the long term of depression. A) By cutting off all contact w/ the outside world, you also cut off your friends, family everyone. Trying to get back into that circle after some therapy and meds have taken course can take time, and a lot of times with depression you have a small gap to find something to grab hold of before you fall back into that blackhole. B) You stop eating right if at all, this causes you to often get sick, by getting sick it makes you more depressed because your sick, and then you get more depressed realizing your becoming depressed due to being sick over depression. C) You loose any form of physical shape you had, not physically looking good is horribly damaging to self-esteem... the last thing you need when your depressed is more self-esteem issues.

So what I'm saying is I've recognized my issue, now I need to determine how to fix some of it within the coming weeks before this happens and I ruin my life over stupid shit.

[SpringRomeo94]

dude, don't stress about it. we are all emotional retards, just live everyday the best way you can.

[true1]

just reflect her energy right back to her, always be positive

[true1]

women are attracted to positive and confident men.

[ed604]

How about start simple dude. You gotta start somewhere to fix this problem. The problem that I am getting is you have a problem expressing your feelings. You can clearly state your problem in these forums. How about express these feelings with your friends. Just call out some friends even one friend and say hey can we hang out. You don't have to have a plan of what you're going to do. Just meet up first then take it from there. Say what's on your mind like what happened during your day: you saw this movie and really liked it. Say the fact then state how you feel about it. That will be a start. I think you are just isolating yourself too much that's all. Don't let it happen.

[im_in_love]

Wow. When I read this, I thought I had written it. Everything you've described, I am going through right now as well. Luckily, I have a very supportive bestfriend that I talk to about this. She said she has also gone through this, and that she finds it helps to sort of 'start over' and rebuild your confidence and pretty much make yourself into who you want to be. And to start out doing that, it's best to find a whole new social circle with all new friends, and it's best to not maintain contact with people who know you as the shy nervous person. She has done this herself a couple times in various situations and finds that it helps her a lot with confidence and she is so much happier after doing it.

You say one idea you've been having is to go out and meet new people and get a new social circle. I say you go for that and even fake the confidence, and those people will know you as the confident you, and will have no idea you were ever shy and nervous all the time. The benefit of faking it is that eventually, it becomes a part of your personality and you actually do become confident. I, for one, am going to try this method, and I hope it gives you an idea of something to try for yourself