Older Woman Dating Younger Man

[Wakeup]

How old are you now, snckrs?

[snckrs]

23, about to be 24

[searock]

There are a lot of couples out there with a wide gap in their ages and couldn't be more happier. I guess you live in a very small and traditional world.

Not at all, actually. As I said, it's not so much the width of the age gap as the ages of the people involved. If the younger person is very young (younger than, say, 25) and the age gap is larger than 5 years or so, then it's highly unlikely that it will be a happy, long-lasting relationship. The "acceptable" age gap widens as the age of the younger person increases.

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snckrs, you should focus on girls your own age. You can be partners, you can grow and experience new things together.

[snckrs]

I agree with you searock. I want that more then anything in the world. I want a wife, someone to grow old with. I want children. To have my own family. Just don't see it happening tho.

[Wakeup]

Okay, so you're 24 years old and you have fibro. Is it bad enough that it curtails your ability to perform (sexually or any orther way that would make you viewed as disabled)? If it doesn't then what is stopping you from going out like any other guy your age and dating chicks your age or a tad younger even?

I feel its unfortunate that your first love experience was with a woman that was old enough to be your mother that for all intents and purposes was in it for the fun and not "love" the way you loved her... even if you don't regret it happening.

Adding:

I miss the intimacy. Its like my heart has a hole in it, just waiting for the right woman and not just anyone.

I wish you had of thought of that before you went with this older woman. I really do...

cie la vie

[snckrs]

Yes, my fibro is bad enough it curtails my ability to preform, well life. Thats why I joined here. That way I could atleast give someone advice on how to be romantic, since I wont be using it anytime soon

[Yanky]

Woah, a little shocked at some responses here.

Smackie said that she's 6 years older than her husband. I agree, 6 years is NOTHING. No gap whatsoever in my opinion. Love isn't a number, it's a truth, a feeling, a connectedness, a similarity between 2 people.

Anything up to 8 years falls into the NOTHING pile, despite whether or not the younger party is 20 or 30. Anything above 9+ is where you can say "okay, there's a bit of a gap here, but what do we need to think about? Are our maturity levels similar?"

Age is only a number, trust me. My friend is 22, and he's dating a 30year old, and guess what? They're practically the same person, have been together for 3 years, and still going strong. He won't mess her around, she won't mess him around, and their maturity levels are equal, so a perfect match there.

It all depends on the people involved, and love. Love trumpts any sily number when two people are actually meant for each another.

[Yanky]

Snckrs, look out for a younger woman who's more like you, similar interests, a woman who's no more than 8/9 years older than you at best. Anything under 7 years you can classify as same age group. Otherwise you guys won't grow together and may disagree on age related stuff if the gap's too large (as I said 8/9+), but even then it still depends on other things, age has little to do with it.

[N_divine]

I'm dating my female best friend, who is older than me, and no complaints here either. No differences at all, only our ages. She just hapoens to be the only woman who I can't live without. I can't picture my life without her. She's the woman who's most like me, and I'm the man who's most like her. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Have to agree with Yanky, 20 years is a bit to the extreme side, but age shouldn't get in the way of true love. Ever. Although I also agree that 7 years max is a healthy gap, and that you can call all women who fall into that gap "your ideal age group". Lol, I've heard that 3 and 6 are soulmate numbers. So if you find a woman who's 3 or 6 years older/younger than you, then bingo, lucky numbers.

Love is love is love.

[dickriculous]

The actual dynamic of the relationship is more telling than arbitrary numbers, though a 20 year gap leads me to wonder if you're trying to collect an inheritance or some shit. And if you're ok with the fact that you may end up having to change diapers for her down the road.

Edit: Just read a couple more of your posts itt...it sounds like you jumped into her arms out of desperation. Bro, when you do that it doesn't matter if she's nine, 80, or anywhere in between that relationship is going nowhere and she will lose interest before long.

[chinagirl]

I'm dating a guy 13 years my senior and I couldn't be happier. He loves me to death, will do anything for me and spoils me. I agree, age is just a number and a state of mind. We are very compatible in all levels, never argue... He has more energy than I do and we both work out...

He loves life, knows how to handle stress very well ( better than his younger counterparts) and very calm.

And to snckrs... The woman who left you has nothing to do with age... That was just her character. She's selfish, but any younger woman can do that to you as well.

You have to find the right person who will accept you the way you are.

[Wakeup]

Yes, my fibro is bad enough it curtails my ability to preform, well life. Thats why I joined here. That way I could atleast give someone advice on how to be romantic, since I wont be using it anytime soon

Are you not getting physio therapy or any kind of exercise to help you? My cousin has fibro and she's happily married with three children. She does daily stretches and sees her physiotherapist regularily. Why are giving up and being so negative? I think it would be a good thing for you to talk to a professional about your over-all outlook. You're not even 25 and you've given up on the rest of your life. Are you getting any sort of coping help either physical or mental?

I know that ^ has taken it off topic but May / December romances have been done so many times and its the same thing over and over. Love is NOT enough to make a relationship stand the tests that life throws our way. Lust is not love and sorry, but she never loved you or she'd still be with you through this difficulty. Equal Maturity levels? Please what in gods name would a 40 year old woman or man have with a 20 year old young adult? Nothing but sex. The odd exception may be the case. IMO and which is often verified: There's something lacking somewhere in someone that gravitates to someone that much younger then them. Sorry, snckrs.... but there it is. What was her particular brand of whack?

Adding: I'm thinking When you're middle aged yourself it doesn't make a difference if your partner is older or younger then you if they too are middle aged.

[snckrs]

I agree with you dickriculous. I had never been in a relationship before. So I did jump into the relationship. I had desposable income at the time, and alot of it got spent on her and her children. We didnt have that much in common. We worked together, and had barely enough in common for the relationship to work as long as it did (hine sight is 20/20). Id take her to work every now and then, every weekend go shopping with her and help her with anything she wanted. I was whipped. I also agree with you Wakeup, in hine sight, she never did really love me. Never wanted to make love, just have sex or f***. I should have known. I guess part of me did know, but I didnt want to admit it. And when it came to maturity, I had more maturity then her. Ive always acted more mature then my age. As in fit in better having talks with 60 years old men about trains, old cars, classic music, frank sinatra, then being with a group of people my age. I had the nickname of grandpa in high school.

And to wakeup, about my fibro. I have tried physical therapy. Several times. Different places, each of them said my fibro is to advanced to help. Which I know is wrong. I do stretchs and exercises on my own. Ive had 4 different doctors say its a lost cause and get used to the way it is cause it isnt going to get better. I dont believe it so Im fighting it, its just hard. But I havent given up. I want my life back, and a family. But until then my life has kind of stalled. I am looking for things that I can do that make me happy.

[somehelp4me]

Snckrs here. I am a new member to LoveForum.net. I have a question for everyone. What is your personal opinion of a older woman dating a younger man. Even an older woman and a younger man getting married. Now I am not talking about just two years older. Im talking like seven plus years older. Mainly 10 to 20 years older. I am curious as to what members of Love forum think of this situation. All opinions welcome.
Snckrs

Not an issue to me but 10 years would be the absolute limit in differences for me starting at maybe 24 on not younger than that age.

[snckrs]

And can someone explain to me why they are called May/December romances?