Insecure

[Steve2004]

Steve2004, is that really your advice?

no i was kidding

I'm only asking as it's not very helpful and no one can 'just go gay'

Liar. I've seen it done

[Pilot]

I'm not a liar, we all have a our own sexuality, quite often gay people dont even know they're gay until they are older anyway.

Thanks for the replies i've had here. I am quite sure that most of my insecurities were caused by my previous relationships.

I spoke to my g/f this evening. I think we've ironed out a few things and have a better perspective of where we stand. I do hope that it has solved alot of problems. I just dislike it when she asks me questions like 'if I fell in love with someone else, would you take it okay?' and stuff like that.

Thanks everyone.

[Only-virgins]

Yea, im in a long distance relationship and fear she is losing interest and also that one day she will find another better guy. But it's truely is about trust. Last summer she left me for a couple weeks, then messed around with another guy one night, then later got back with me a week or 2 later. I took her back because I loved her so much. I was desperate I guess, and tried to convince myself it was ok. She begged me back. Although I've done something like that once I would never do it again.

I think your insecurities go deep like... you think you are gonna be alone for the rest of your life ? or maybe you've become attached so that you can't imagine being without her. These are the same fears i feel. I just try not to think about it, cause thinking about it will do nothing but make it worse as you and everyone else already knows. I know its hard to just say "well do other shit to keep those things off your mind". But that truely is the only way to feel better about it.


I've been complaining to my girl alot these past weeks that it feels like she doesnt leave me, and have been questioning her repeatedly on how she feels for me. She tell's me it drives her insane cause I really have nothing to worry about. She reassures me over and over but I somehow find a way to worry, bcause of some stuff that pops into my head. Just one little detail could have me leading on trail of negatives thought and want to break up with her(I could find a reason to think she's losing interest in me if she spelled my name wrong while we were doing online messaging). I've noticed it's become a pattern of constant worry. But the truth is their is no real worry. I'm making myself worry for no reason and so are you. Their are no signs or anything thats made you think she was going to leave you right? Just try to reassure yourself with a positive thought about her the next time you think she might be dancing with some guy or not thinking about you (If you think oh she hasnt called me cause she doesnt love me, just think of a moment you guys were together and it should help atleast somewhat). I hope we are on the same level of understanding here.

I would recommend you follow your own advice.

then he needs to shutup and stop posting. is he lookin for some kind of therapy session where he can tell somone his life story.

[clark926]

Im hot and dying for sex call me now i need a chat 07840842861 or thats +447840842861 for people outside england

[Pilot]

wtf, whats clark926 on about?

[kaotic02]

lol virgin is gonna follow me on every post now.. im being forum stalked. haha, ****in nerd with no life, thats even worse.

[Pilot]

Kaotic02,

Don't worry about it. I was happy to read your reply and it was nice to find someone who feels the same as I do.

I appreciated your time and effort in posting it.

[Only-virgins]

lol virgin is gonna follow me on every post now.. im being forum stalked. haha, ****in nerd with no life, thats even worse.

Your on this forum as well you hypocrite nerd.

[Illusional]

the one thing that you will have to remember is that everyone is different. because the last three girls left you, doesn't mean that this one will. i think that the one thing you will have to show this new girl of your is that you ARE secure. i feel as though women don't want to be with someone who won't trust them and let them do what they want. they also want to be independent and have their own life. they sometimes want to eat lunch with a guy friend and not have to worry if their bf will get jealous. i know that it's hard, but relationships are never easy.

raverboy

[Pilot]

Yeah I see your point. I don't make any complaints when she goes out, or even the fact that she gets on okay with her ex's, I just worry when shes out because she attracts alot of male attention. She also has her insecurities and hates me having female friends. If I take too long to reply to her on msn, she immediately thinks i'm talking to another girl. I think shes just very protective over me and don't really want to lose me as she seems to see everyother girl as a threat. I think we're as bad as eachother really. lol

We've been getting on better though, which is nice. Just see how the next few days go.

Thank you for your advice.

[lozzybug]

i think the most important thing in a relationship is trust and neither of you seem to trust each other all that much otherwise you wouldn't be so worried about the other person cheating. not all girls are like that; girls could also say all guys are like that - maybe you just seem to fall for women who will hurt you. you've definitely got warning signs though - eg.'if i fell in love with someone else would you take it ok?' maybe you need to build you own confidence up before going out with other people and don't ever rely on anyone else for your own happiness.

[Illusional]

whoa.. i hate those girls who try to control your life, yet they want all the freedom of being single. that's too damn greedy for me. me and you are probably two very different people and i personally would leave.

raverboy

[Pilot]

No, I know shes been hurt many times in the past too, and I think that we're both cautious due to past experiences. Its not that we don't trust eachother, it's most likely the fact that we're scared of being hurt again, but as I said, things seem to be going well at the moment.

Thanks again though.

[Illusional]

it's always good to play it cautious, but remember that if you're too cautious, you may drive the other person away.

raverboy

[Pilot]

Yeah I know that you're right. It's just finding that healthy balance I suppose.

Thank you.