Inlove w/ a married man!?!?

[Only-virgins]

She knows about us, me & her have been friends even longer than they have been married. She does the same thing to him; goes out and does things with other people. She is always joking around about me becoming his second wife so she can go on vacation. He hasn't ever slept around on her (except for me of course) & you can just tell that he don't even want to be the cheating type. They both have told me that they stay together for the kids, but I mean the way they fight when they do; if I was his kids I would want my daddy & mom to be happy, not just together for them, that wouldn't be right.

You sleep with your friends husband behind her back? wtf is going on.

[miSSleepy]

has everyone missed the bit about the guy having and OPEN RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS WIFE? And they have kids? Isn't that a bit odd? And surely the wife would expect something like this to happen with such an attitude? I don't get it at all. It's all retarded and I only feel sorry for the kids.

[IndiReloaded]

He hasn't ever slept around on her (except for me of course) & you can just tell that he don't even want to be the cheating type.

Oh. Well then, that makes it alright then^.

MisS: She SAYS its an 'open relationship' but the OP posts suggests nothing of the kind. I wouldn't believe that unless the husband or wife posts that themselves. This is the OP wanting to justify her classless actions.

[IndiReloaded]

has everyone missed the bit about the guy having and OPEN RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS WIFE? And they have kids? Isn't that a bit odd?

Totally odd & I don't believe it for a second. That, or I don't think the OP meant 'open relationship' the way you & I think of it.

[wxyz00]

I am quite disappointed by the responses some people have made here... This a place where people come for advise/help and I think the least they deserve is some respect for opening up their secrets... While you may DISAGREE with their actions... you don't need to be condescending and degrading. Every one here is human and fallible.... and I heartily request people in this forum to respect the humanity in them and treat others with some consideration.... their humiliation does not prove your superior morals if that is what the intention was....

[wxyz00]

For the OP,

I will address a few questions here before I jump to any conclusions...

1. Is this man much older to you?
2. Is he financially well off?

[lovesjoyajm]

At the risk of sounding rude as well, I will add my support to everything everyone has said.

The guy may say he loves you, but he's not doing ANYTHING right. Don't put yourself at the mercy of a guy who can't be faithful to his own wife. I don't like divorce because I think children should have a mother and father, but at least it would be honorable for him to leave his wife before he starts a relationship with you. That way he wouldn't be sending completely mixed messages about the importance of fidelity to his kids.

On another note, I think anyone who cheats has a SERIOUS fear of commitment, since he clearly hasn't committed fully to his wife but he's not committed to leaving her, either. What makes you think he would commit to you even if he DID finally have the balls to make a decision?

He wants what he can't have, and so do you. If you're so serious about this working out, you should wait to start anything - or put everything on hold - till he's had a chance to be single and find his brains.

[Only-virgins]

I am quite disappointed by the responses some people have made here... This a place where people come for advise/help and I think the least they deserve is some respect for opening up their secrets... While you may DISAGREE with their actions... you don't need to be condescending and degrading. Every one here is human and fallible.... and I heartily request people in this forum to respect the humanity in them and treat others with some consideration.... their humiliation does not prove your superior morals if that is what the intention was....

Shut the hell up, people coming here to get REAL and down to earth advice. They come here to get the hard shiat that people won't tell them to their face in order not to hurt them. This is reality and the situation she is in is weird, retarded, and someone is getting cheated.

[miSSleepy]

it's like God appeared for a bit there.

I respect everyon as a human, if they are a human. Other respect is given as it is deserved though, and no one here has insulted anyone, just disapproved of some actions. The only person trying to sound superior here is you wxyz00.

[IndiReloaded]

He wants what he can't have, and so do you. If you're so serious about this working out, you should wait to start anything - or put everything on hold - till he's had a chance to be single and find his brains.

Best advice right here.

[wanna-luv-u-89]

For the OP,

I will address a few questions here before I jump to any conclusions...

1. Is this man much older to you?
2. Is he financially well off?

He is only 4 years older than me & yes he has a good job... he has to, so he can support his family, no one else will. Thank you wxyzoo for trying to be nice & understanding, its well appreciated! To everyone else, getting upset & doubting shit I say don't make you any less stubborn than me! Yes they have an open relationship, weather you believe it or not she DOES know about me & him; except that im falling for him. Why would I just post somthing & make up a bunch of shit... to get a rise out of all of you or somthing? Wow that would make alot of since! Firstly, some of the women here have fallen for a married man so don't judge. We already know it's "wrong" and "forbidden" etc. Too late, it happened! Married or not, its hard to just walk away from someone you love so much, when you believe everything happens for a reason & you should regret nothing you do because at one time, it was exactly what you wanted. But I know there is no point in this relationship if he is taken and even tho its something i hold dearest, its pointless. I'm stuck now, i really do want to get out of this and start my own life with someone special but, its so hard because im still so attached & committed!

One last thing I'd like to add, even though im not sure yet. I might be pregnant with his baby. I already know he wouldn't clam it wasn't his or shit like that, but im a little scared anyways...

[lilcupid]

All I can say is What The ****?! My god girl, you are in over your head! If you think he will leave her I think you are sadly mistaken. My question to you is why did you even travel down this path of doom?! Open relationship or not, that is like sticking your hand in a fire expecting not to get burnt! And as for being pregnant....how could you think this won't effect his kids? How can he explain to them that he and you are having a child together? Ok, you may love him but I seriously feel neither of you have thought of the effects this will have on those kids. If she knows about it and accepts it then she has to realise the consequences but when there are children involved that seriously isn't fair

[vashti]

if I was his kids I would want my daddy & mom to be happy, not just together for them, that wouldn't be right.

No you wouldn't. Children are narcissistic by nature. They believe the world actually revolves around them, and in a normal, helathy household, it pretty much DOES revolve around them, and not their parent's emotional problems and sex life. All young children want their parents to stay together. Why do you think it is so devastating to children when one of their parents leave?

You are all very incredibly damaged, selfish people and you are harming another generation of people. None of you are mature enough for children. You guys can't even manage birth control properly! If you really ARE pregnant (god forbid), I urge you to put the baby up for adoption and get some reliable form of birth control. Children deserve to have two mature parents and none of this adolescent drama.

And even if you weren't damaged, you are still too young for babies, assuming you were born in 1989.

[IndiReloaded]

I feel sorry for the OP. She's dug herself into a hole so deep she thinks the only thing left to do is to keep digging.

Good luck with your next phase of manipulation. Getting pregnant to try to force a guy to leave his wife is a classic maneuver. Don't bother saying it was an accident--with birth control today that's just stupid.

This tactic rarely works, BTW. What you will do is likely make him hate you for screwing up two families. Nice.

[wanna-luv-u-89]

Me & him have discussed this already & yes, it may not of been a mistake cuz I should of been on birth control as a back up but we did use a condom & it did break so it wasn't really either of our faults. I wouldn't be using me being pregnant as a way to get him to leave her. I already told him I would never tell him to up & leave unless he, himself wanted to. Also I wouldn't want it to be another his & her situation; being together only for the kids. I don't have any problem taking care of the baby by myself & I know he will be there for him/her & me no matter what, he is just that type of person. He believes that if he does somthing he should man up to the situation, so I know he wont want me to get a abortion or make me put it up for adoption... he would want to be there to help me raise it, even if we aren't under the same roof he will be a father. I disagree about the kids, they are old enough to know why their parents fight all the time & would prolly be happier if there was less drama in the household. I do believe that even if I wasn't in the picture divorce wouldn't be to much farther in their futures. I love his wife dearly & she is a good friend but she does have some issues witch im not really allowed to discuss because you all will just think im making her out a bad person on my behalf & im not. All I will say is... the kids need a mom who will love them. I believe a mom is someone who wants them around, loves them, plays with them, takes care of them & truly wants the best for them & to be honest... thats not her. Ya she may of gave birth to them but I am more of a mother to them kids than she will prolly EVER be!