Try dating abused

[Junket]

Yeah but you'd be surprised by how many girls go out of their way to look for it. It's on a subconscious level no doubt

They don't literally go out and look for it.

They tend to be attracted to the traits that makes abusers what they are.

Because they're so insecure already, they look for somebody who is more controlling, and in turn the the abuser takes advantage of the power he has over her. Ironically this is because he's so insecure that he needs to exert his "power" over somebody and that frightened little girl is a perfect target. If the girl ever starts to have doubts, he'll just break down and express his undying love for her, and of course, she'll feel so special that she'll stick around for more abuse.

If she does leave, once again, she feels vulnerable and goes out lookin' for somebody else who can provide her with quick fix of "security".

And the cycle continues.

[ALovelyLady86]

Ok.. see I agree with that lol...

[Junket]

Ok.. see I agree with that lol...

For now on I'll make a short and to the point post, that everybody else understands.

Then I'll make a very long, drawn out, in-detail post just for you, cause you're just that "special".

[ALovelyLady86]

cause you're just that "special".

I know... only without the quotes....

[Junket]

By the way...here's a situation that relates to a bit of what I said.

This girl looks like she could have some sense knocked into 'er.

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/t7333-an-endless-cycle.html[/url]

[LightOn]

What im gonna do is hang out with her and let her become comfortable with me, ill give it some more time for her to get out of the victim mode and back to reality, and ill have some fun doing it too. shes into shooting guns so ill take her to a firing range, mabye some movies, and other various dates, eventually ill ask her if she wants to become something more with me. the last thing i want to be is a rebound relationship that only lasts a month, and have her repeat the cycle of going for another abusive person. I get to be the one to say, lets just be friends, then attempt a relationship later.

Sound good?

Sounds good, all except the "eventually ill ask her if she wants to become something more with me" part. Seriously if she wants to be something more with you, you will not have to ask, asking is for polite wussies. Remember what she has been attracted to in the past...

[ALovelyLady86]

Frasbee... its hard to believe there are girls who will deal with that... well not only girls but guys too. People need to learn respect these days

[Gasstationworke]

so youre all saying that i should go for it, and be confident... and about how long do i have to wait on this or any situation before im a couple with her, 1 day/ 10 days, 1 date/ 10 dates, or should i just forget about this one because theres too much baggage? like i said earlier i dont even know what to do.


Haha, i feel so stupid asking people on a love forum for advise, but it is all extremely helpfull, and i cant express it enough.

[misombra]

so she's had more than one abusive boyfriend in the past? what's up with that? it kinda does sound like she actively looks for that abusive quality for some reason. it's a pathology, people who are abused are most likely to end up in that situation again and again. the same goes for people who were molested as children, they're more likely to go after a lot of sex again and again. i'm not saying it happens 100 percent of the time, it's just an interesting correlation. but if you're not going to be physically abusive with her then i guess you don't have to worry about it.

but there's a bigger issue at hand here... why is she habitually dating men that are abusive toward her?

[Gasstationworke]

but there's a bigger issue at hand here... why is she habitually dating men that are abusive toward her? <- misombra


That i dont know an answer to. it would be great to hear from a victims point of view on it. mabye we should start a new thread.


Wish me luck tomorrow, im going to take her out and introduce her to some of my friends, to make her feel that im the type of person that wants her to be involved with a part of my social life. im going to post a new thread on abbuse victims.

FYI all this is a friggin awesome forum

[Illusional]

hahahahaha... alright i found something funny in this thread. alright i'm not picking on you, i just wanted to point out something.

Youre a 23 year old virgin who wants to give your virginity to an abused girl because you feel if anyone out there is trustworthy its her, right?
I'm just trying to figure out why youd want to lose it to her... Shes NOT the only hot girl in this world so that certainly cant be it. Please explain... I mean I read your first post and you sounded like a complete gentlemen and I read the second one and you turned into a pervert. Whats the deal here?
If shes just gotten out of an adusive relationship and all you want to do is **** her. Leave her alone! She doesnt deserve it! Go find some other slut to ****.

alright, being that everyone has their own opinion, you have very broadly stated yours. now i don't see how you can get mad at others when they disagree with you on your zodiac signs, and you feel offended. everyone expresses themselves differently as you have already seen.

raverboy

[ALovelyLady86]

Well heres the one difference... this person asked our opnions...

I didnt ask any of yours on zodiac signs! lol you people crack me up

[Junket]

Well heres the one difference... this person asked our opnions...

I didnt ask any of yours on zodiac signs! lol you people crack me up

So far.

From what I've learned from you.

You try to state all your opinions as strictly opinions, even when they will obviously elicit some kind of radical response from others.

However you're quick to oppose or correct other people's opinions.

Then when they retaliate, you go on the defensive, but try to hide it by jumping behind your "it's just my opinion" excuse and/or belittling the other person for getting defensive of their opinion. Attacking more their character than their view.

It's a neat little tactic you have there, however if you can remove that you're obviously feeling defensive, it'll work much better for you.

[Illusional]

opinions, like people's 2 cents, are given even when they are not asked for.

since the world revolves around money, i give my 2 cents out very freely.

raverboy

[ALovelyLady86]

I am no longer going to respond to you Frasbee..I remember you stating when I was pretty new that you were going to enjoy playing with me... well since I'm no longer going to play your game I guess youll have to play by yourself. From now on I will just state my opinion, and when you decide to insult my opnion that I give I wont respond to you
I was always willing to let you know when I agreed. I never just disagreed to be disagreeing. If I feel like I dont agree, then I'll say "Well i feel like..."
Anyhoo have fun being mean to other people cause I'm not going to respond from now on to you.