Differences between UK and US

[xxazurexx]

I don't need to be drunk to meet someone but it just tends to be that whenever we do something social alcohol is always involved

I'm from the south west , maybe it is different because the communities are fairly small, I'm not sure

Same where I am Kai and I'm North East, hundreds of miles from you. Most do their socialising in nightclubs and clubs, so I figure that is where will most meet.

Britain is a nation of 'binge drinkers' and we are the binge drinking capital of Europe. When I was younger, all my socialising was done in pubs and nightclubs and it is where I met the majority of most of my boyfriends/partners, with one or two exceptions.

I dont know about you or Qwerty, but I have never dated. I've been 'seeing' a guy yeah, but it wasn't classed as dating. I've also never been seeing, more than one guy at any one time. But in the USA it seems to be the norm to date several males/females and at once. I've never done that and I don't know anyone who has either. All of my long term relationships began as 'serious' ones and immediatley, no desire to see other people.

To note the differences between the dating cultures of both the USA and UK, read the Jane Austen Guide to Dating. Not written by Jane Austen herself, but written by someone else....forget who. It explains the differences and also explains the traditional way of relationships in the UK and traditions that still hold and lots still adhere too.

Perhaps things are changing a bit. I would never pursue a guy, whereas you and Qwerty might. Society does change, but those who were brought up in a different society, tend to stick to the ways of that society they were brought up and it's hard to change. I'm in my 30's and I think Qwerty is early 20's, as I'm guessing you might be.

[xxazurexx]

I agree that exclusivity is usually assumed in most cases of couples I've met

I'm a bit different I assume I am free and single no matter what unless they sit me down and have a chat...but of course they tend to assume otherwise and that causes problems like you said

Well I assumed exclusive and when we had been together for a while and things were going really well, so did the guy. When it was a relationship where we just wanted to be together, there was no one else involved, no desire for either of us to be with anyone else, where we spent lots of time together, we'd met each others family and friends, etc...

I didn't assume exclusivity after 2 minutes of knowing a guy, unless of course that is what both I and the guy wanted. And in my situations, it is what we both wanted immediatley...to focus on one another and get to know one another and see how things progressed.

[xxazurexx]

Depends on the state, and the city.

Guns are supposed to be registered, but you don't usually don't need a license to possess a gun.

Here in Louisiana, you can carry a handgun on the dashboard of your vehicle, by law.

But in other states you can only transport in a vehicle, disassembled, in a secure case.

Just depends.

Crikey. If this country was like that, there would be no one walking around....lmao.

You need a licence here and it is against the law to be in possession of a gun without one.

[Kai Phoenix]

Well I assumed exclusive and when we had been together for a while and things were going really well, so did the guy. When it was a relationship where we just wanted to be together, there was no one else involved, no desire for either of us to be with anyone else, where we spent lots of time together, we'd met each others family and friends, etc...

I didn't assume exclusivity after 2 minutes of knowing a guy, unless of course that is what both I and the guy wanted. And in my situations, it is what we both wanted immediatley...to focus on one another and get to know one another and see how things progressed.

You guessed right early 20s I'm 21, I don't tend to pursue guys however although I will flirt my way into getting what I want...

I can't wait to find someone and not desire other people, my lack of self control ruins everything

I think everything is just varied, even between my friends you have the ones who are in long term relationships and then the ones like me! I have been "seeing" a guy for a few months now, he has met my mum and other stuff but we are definitely not together and without even talking seem to know we are just friends with some added benefits (or at least I hope that's what he thinks!)

[xxazurexx]

^^

I've been 'seeing' guys before, but it didn't become 'serious' and I'd sensed they were not into it, like I may have been. So it didn't last long.

I know when a guy is into me enough and by his actions and for me to know this is a 'serious' relationship and I was never wrong.

[xxazurexx]

Also Kai and like you say, despite what traditions may hold, there are people who still do it differently and everyone is individual. End of day, there is no right or wrong way, we all do what we want...which is why it's pointless to discuss...lol

[IndiReloaded]

I think politically, UK is more liberal than US. Overall, that is. The US has its red/blue states which culturally can be like visiting different countries.

Socially, I prefer british to american. I find there are more men there who are still trained to act like gentlemen to their ladies. I'm married to a Brit, mind, so I'm biased.

[mafj99]

Well I assumed exclusive and when we had been together for a while and things were going really well, so did the guy. When it was a relationship where we just wanted to be together, there was no one else involved, no desire for either of us to be with anyone else, where we spent lots of time together, we'd met each others family and friends, etc...

I didn't assume exclusivity after 2 minutes of knowing a guy, unless of course that is what both I and the guy wanted. And in my situations, it is what we both wanted immediatley...to focus on one another and get to know one another and see how things progressed.

I would agree with that, in the relationships I have been in they have usually started by meeting up a few times then as things start going well and we start seeing more of each other exclusivity is assumed but never really discussed it. There does seem to be different culture. Same with "dating" somebody as well, if I have met up with somebody I usually see how things go with that person and decided if I want to seem them again after a couple of dates and pursue it further or move on and meet somebody else. Although it is more common to say you have started "seeing" somebody instead of dating somebody. But in some respects even the term (or to me at least) kind of implies a relationship of sorts with somebody and the implied exclusivity.

As for alcohol, it is usually involved in a social context. In fact most of my first dates have involved a drink in a bar at some point.

S

[Kai Phoenix]

^^

I've been 'seeing' guys before, but it didn't become 'serious' and I'd sensed they were not into it, like I may have been. So it didn't last long.

I know when a guy is into me enough and by his actions and for me to know this is a 'serious' relationship and I was never wrong.

I clearly don't have these senses, maybe I will learn them over time

I had someone I classed as a friend with benefits tell me he loved me last year very seriously...that was awkward

[qwertz]

Hmmm well, i would say im 'dating' the guy im well, dating! now, we have been on 3 dates, we both called them dates, 'seeing' him would be the next stage, when its casual and no time or date is arranged properly etc.

Exclusivety is assumed, its not generally acceptable here to date several people at the same time, but saying that, i always 'test the water' just to confirm that im not one of many.
And yes, im earlyt twenties, 23 today actually.

[xxazurexx]

Hmmm well, i would say im 'dating' the guy im well, dating! now, we have been on 3 dates, we both called them dates, 'seeing' him would be the next stage, when its casual and no time or date is arranged properly etc.

Exclusivety is assumed, its not generally acceptable here to date several people at the same time, but saying that, i always 'test the water' just to confirm that im not one of many.
And yes, im earlyt twenties, 23 today actually.

Like Mafj99 above, I would say 'seeing' someone, rather than 'dating' someone.

But you know what. Since I've been coming on forums and hearing the Americans talk...I'm tending to say 'dating' now...and because I've picked it up from them, lol

And Happy Birthday

[xxazurexx]

I think politically, UK is more liberal than US. Overall, that is. The US has its red/blue states which culturally can be like visiting different countries.

Socially, I prefer british to american. I find there are more men there who are still trained to act like gentlemen to their ladies. I'm married to a Brit, mind, so I'm biased.

Really? English? Scottish? Welsh? If he's English, I bet he's a Southern English gentleman. They are more polite and well mannered than Northern guys tend to be....although there will be exceptions.

[IndiReloaded]

I think it depends on the family. I knew a nice man from Carlisle and he was lovely.

[Lipp]

Never called for a flat-out dinner date, and haven't heard of anyone who has. Casual > Formal.

[xxazurexx]

I think it depends on the family. I knew a nice man from Carlisle and he was lovely.

That can be a factor. But I could easy spot the difference between a Southern and a Northern male....very easily. We are all English, but we are very different. South of the North/South divide they are like a different species to us Northerners. Southerners on the whole tend to be Conservative, Northerners are Labour and Liberal, which is always reflected in the UK elections. Conservative people are usually from money backgrounds, highly educated, well spoken and well mannered. Conservatives are the party for the upper/middle classes. Labour, liberal voters, the Northerners are the 'working class'...the people from the North are more 'rough and ready', although we are reknowed for our friendliness.

Would anyone else from the UK agree...or am I talking shite??...lol