Lack of discipline with bfs son.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I was actually surprised Vashti didn't chime in sooner, but I figured she'd have something viable to say. She pretty much nailed it top to bottom.

[IndiReloaded]

Am I being that inappropriate by thinking at the age of 10 when he is finished eating dinner he should pick his plate up? When he says an inappropriate word that I don't think a 10 year old should be saying, do I let it go because he's going through a rough time?

Those expectations aren't unreasonable, but they are developed as part of a larger parenting philosophy that you haven't been part of.

I couldn't agree more with Vash's comment about criticism vs. concern. Remember than any comments like this are a criticism of the father as well. I also agree w/her you are going to have a very hard time b/c of your own lack of experience with children.

"I don't want the impression later on that he can walk all over me because I'm not the parent." Could be said in a much kinder way than you put it. I very much doubt this boy is wanting to 'walk over you'. He's looking for love, which is what all children want. Show concern, not control.