What lessons have you learned from your breakups?

[Kromat83]

As hard as it is, when you love someone, sometimes you have to lego. Cherish the good memories and know you tried. Life goes on and there is someone out there waiting for you.

yep, i went through this exact experience, i tried so hard to show them how much
i felt about them, they last the desire to show it my way, and it fell apart.

[Love'sReject]

I learned that there actually is NOT someone for everyone. Some of us are bound to die alone.

[Cerby]

Don't ever treat someone like a queen when they only treat you like a peasant, or alternatively, don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

This was in here already, but if your friends and family don't like them, there is probably a reason that you can't see through your rose coloured glasses.

Don't EVER allow someone to walk all over you and expect it will get better, if they don't treat you with respect on day 1, don't expect it on day 50, or 100, or 1000.

And to help out with poor LRs lonliness - don't spend time trying to find the perfect relationship, just find someone who you like and build a good one.


I got all turned around by someone who didn't respect me in 2011, which was the reason I came to this forum in the first place, and looking at this list, almost all of those lessons applied to that woman.

[basilandthyme]

I learned that there actually is NOT someone for everyone. Some of us are bound to die alone.

Bollocks. Only assholes who refuse to change will die alone.

(excepting those who don't want a partner or those who are severely disabled from my comment)

[basilandthyme]

As hard as it is, when you love someone, sometimes you have to lego.

Just don't leave the pieces on the floor and walk around in bare feet. It will make your pain worse

[Love'sReject]

Bollocks. Only assholes who refuse to change will die alone.

(excepting those who don't want a partner or those who are severely disabled from my comment)

Hm, and where do I fit into this generalization of yours?

[basilandthyme]

Well you do want a partner and as far as I'm aware, you're not severely disabled.

The good news is that you have the ability to change your circumstances if you wish - unlike those who have real problems which can't be changed.

[Love'sReject]

Lol, I was trying to bait you into calling me an asshole 'cuz I am sure you think I am one..

[ashley89]

something important I learned is not to make your boyfriend/girlfriend your whole world. of course you're going to want to spend more time with them and love being around them, but you still need your own life and activities to do separately. when I was with my ex, I always sacrificed what I wanted to do in order to make him happy. for example, I'd ditch holiday parties with my family just because he wanted to do things with his family, I'd go and hang out with his friends and change plans with mine for him, and I didn't hang out with my own friends as much so when he did things alone I'd feel bored. I learned how unhealthy that is, and from that point on I decided I was never going to let that happen again. you never know how a relationship will end and you don't want to make someone your #1 priority and ignore other things that are important to you.

[bearz]

Ashley brought up a really good point, never give up your own life for someone else because guess what happens when you lose that someone? You have not much left. I've seen so many people ditch their friends and family for a relationship that didn't work out. There should always be time for the important people in your life and if your partner can't accept that than he or she isn't right for you.

[blueberrypie_s]

Ashley brought up a really good point, never give up your own life for someone else because guess what happens when you lose that someone? You have not much left. I've seen so many people ditch their friends and family for a relationship that didn't work out. There should always be time for the important people in your life and if your partner can't accept that than he or she isn't right for you.

It is true that your relationship should not become the focus of your life. But what i've found with my ex was that he was so afraid of this happening to him again, that he would put me at the bottom of the list. I felt in that relationship i cared too much and he was too afraid to care back. There must be a good balance.

More lessons learned from my short less than week long relationship.
- don't ever be with someone that views you as an option, because you will be tired of always second guessing yourself
- go into a relationship with trust in the other person. if there is any doubt, then it will multiply once you are in the relationship
- keep your relationship to yourself, don't tell everyone you know about it

[shesjustnotin2u]

... beats holding on to something that was never really yours.

[shesjustnotin2u]

Just don't leave the pieces on the floor and walk around in bare feet. It will make your pain worse

... beats holding on to something that was never really yours.

[ashley89]

More lessons learned from my short less than week long relationship.
- don't ever be with someone that views you as an option, because you will be tired of always second guessing yourself
- go into a relationship with trust in the other person. if there is any doubt, then it will multiply once you are in the relationship
- keep your relationship to yourself, don't tell everyone you know about it

all of this happened in a less than one week relationship? lmfao

[fklove]

What doesnt work after 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 tries isnt just supposed to work.

When you have no trust for someone, its for a reason, dont be blind.

When somebody wants you, theyll chase you & how much they need you.

Never get attached to anybody, thats the reason youll sink.

Never threat as a priority who threats you as an option.

We can't hold on to something that is lost.