That's the weird thing of it. On the get-things-done level, we actually do quite well. We manage to communicate well regarding the kids, the house, the finances, all the stuff which makes up the bulk of a married couple's day-to-day interactions, we manage to do just fine.
But that's pretty much as far as it goes. Her friends aren't my friends, I don't really like to go out in public much with her because she gets very rude toward me. I have pointed that out to her a few times, and she just says that's what her (divorced) parents did, so that's what she learned. I understand the results of poor role modeling, I don't understand why one cannot change their behavior.
We exchange no information about our inner lives or what is going on emotionally.
So I guess that's why I'm confused, because on one level, everything works pretty well. On the other level...well, there's just nothing there, and I guess there hasn't been for years. Can something like that be jump-started to life again? If so, how? I suppose, if I have to spend a few more years at this, I might as well not leave thinking there is something else I could have done.